Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in truth every child is born with unlimited potential. As expressed so well by Orison Marden:
"Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action."
This statement can be true for your child. Not just if he's a "gifted child" but any child. Indeed, perhaps we should consider a "gifted child" to be a child whose parents have gifted him with a high self-esteem.
Children with high self-esteem are happier and more successful. Low self-esteem is common in children who are performing badly at school, have behavioural problems and suffer from depression.
The Newborn
The "helpless" newborn baby actually comes into the world well equipped with the power to get what she wants. Not only do her cries bring her parents running to tend to her; she also uses her body and facial language to get what she wants. It's no coincidence that babies learn to smile while they are still very small - it is an essential tool in their armoury of communication. A baby with a disarming smile can frequently wrap mommy or daddy round her little finger!
At this early stage, it's important to respond to all your baby attempts at communication. Attend to her when she cries (this does not preclude training her gently into a stable routine), mirror her attempts at facial communication and reward the infant sounds she makes by praising her and talking back to her.
The "Can-Do" Toddler
Toddlers are into everything! They are learning so fast about the world around them and want to explore everything, touch everything and even try to eat many things.
It is such a crucial stage and one that is stifled by many parents. Yes, you need to control your child's behavior so that he doesn't hurt himself or damage valuable property. But you also need to give him opportunities to express this exploratory behavior without constant criticism and telling-offs.
Put valuables out of reach and supply your child with toys or household items that he can play with safely. Try to find time to get down on the floor and play with your toddler. Let him watch you and imitate you. He could play on the kitchen floor with some pots and wooden spoons while you are cooking.
Discipline
I want to emphasize up front that I believe discipline is very important, because I don't want you to think in any of what follows that I'm advocating spoiling your child. Some parents call this "allowing the child to enjoy the freedom of youth." These parents are entitled, of course, to raise their children however they wish.
But if you want your child to grow into a successful adult, you would do better by teaching her firmly what is and isn't acceptable in present day society. And, just as importantly, helping her to learn self-discipline and that you will support her in achieving anything she wants, as long as she does so ethically.
Discipline should be sensitive, thoughtful and appropriate. You should strive to never lose your temper but to discipline your child calmly and firmly. When is discipline appropriate? When your child's actions (or lack of them) may harm herself or others. When is discipline not appropriate? When it is purely for the parent's own selfish preferences.
Talk to Your Child
Positive talk with your child and generally within the household cannot be over-emphasized. Avoid criticism wherever possible; it is praise that produces good, successful behavior. Be sure to find at least one thing to praise in your child every day. Even better, give praise as often as possible.
Are you having problems finding good behaviors to praise? If so, give your child a task to do that you know he is capable of. Children love earning their parents' approval. Also remember to praise your child for trying, on those occasions that he is not successful.
Set a good example; talk about your goals and successes, and teach your child by example to accept compliments gracefully. Resist the temptation to put yourself down when you are complimented - instead, say a simple Thank You. That's an important sign of a healthy self-esteem.
The other side of the coin to talking is, of course, listening. It is very important to listen to your child. When there is something he is upset about, don't sweep it under the carpet by saying "Don't be silly!" Whatever it is might seem totally trivial to you but often all your child needs is for you to empathise. "I'm sorry you feel sad about that." He may then come up with a solution, or put the incident behind him without further help. Or, you can suggest a solution.
The Power of Desire
You can give your child the best possible schooling, teach all the important techniques of success, encourage goal setting and set a fantastic example. But that is not enough! All these good things have one vitally important pre-requisite. Before you can achieve anything, you must know what you really, really want.
A burning desire is the first, most important and essential step towards any major achievement. As a parent, you are in a unique position to influence another person's desires - your child's. By the time they reach their teens, you will have lost this influence to a significant degree, as young adults are swayed much more by their peers' opinions than their parents'.
So make the most of the early years by instilling positive, beneficial desires in your children. The desire to do well academically could shape your child's further education and career much more than her innate ability.
How can you instil desire? Telling stories is a great way. Children love stories! Be creative and tell stories where the hero or heroine has a burning desire for something, overcomes challenges and set backs, and achieves the desired outcome. Try telling stories where a child achieves academic success, which in turn results in something even more desirable. For instance, one story could tell of a child who has a burning desire to travel to the North Pole. She succeeds academically and thus wins an award, which makes her dream come true. Tailor the stories to your own child's life and experiences as much as you can.
The famous author Napoleon Hill used story-telling to instil in his almost-deaf son both a burning desire to hear, and a firm belief that his disability would actually bestow upon him a great advantage (although at the time even his father had no idea what that advantage could be). By the time this boy left college, he had against the odds acquired a hearing aid that enabled him to hear clearly for the first time in his life. More remarkably, he had justified his father's belief by securing a marketing position with the hearing aid manufacturer to bring the same benefit to millions of other deafened people.
"Gifted child"? Give your child the gift of self-esteem, and you will give him the gift of happiness.
About The Author
Cassie Simons is the author of "How to Help Your Child Succeed", a revolutionary approach to guilt-free parenting.
Positive Parenting, Gifted Child
Visit http://www.KidsGoals.com today for the secrets of raising successful children.
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More
Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More
The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Parenting |