Tackle, Tackle

I don't know how people raise daughters because I have 2 sons. In my in-sanest moments, I have thought about having a daughter and have entertained thoughts about rushing into Toys'Rus straight to the Barbie doll section. My preoccupation with daughters is short-lived. Then I become sane all over again ? I must be out of my mind thinking about having another child! No way, it's totally, absolutely, positively, undoubtedly out of the question. I do love babies. Oh, how I do love them. Pinching cheeks is not one of my favorite things to do an infant but I sure do love the feel of their feathery skin that is layered with fine, fine hair. I can't resist touching their bums like a lunatic.

I am quite sure daughters are fun. Sometimes I watch other mothers fuss with their daughter's hair and I look at Joshua and Jared and think to myself, "You think daddy will still love them if I leave their hair long so that I can tie them in braids and put ribbons on them?" My sons are pretty pretty, if I do say so myself but I don't think they'd like me to dress them up as girls.

I tried.

Dressing my boys as girls Joshua already knows the difference between girls and boys ? after the countless number of times we've broached the topic, how could he NOT know??? The times when we laughed till we were rolling around in unabashed nakedness in the bathroom because he thought I dropped my penis? Classic case of sex education gone folly. Jared, in the meantime, kept lifting up the skirt to see where the pant is one time I dressed him up as a Cinderella. I guess, it's not going to work.

My confusion and problem on dealing with little girls started when I realized that I don't know how to buy pretty dresses and fancy head gears for girls. Mind you, although I DO have a critical eye out for fashion faults, I am not a very good dresser. I prefer the slip-on-and-go-and-don't-feel-like-I-am-wearing-anything-at-all types of clothes. If I had to insomuch as zip, button, snap-on, clasp or buckle anything, I'd feel like dressing was too much of an effort. Naturally, being the 'casual dresser' that I am (my family members refer to it as 'sloppy' but I object), I find myself in a mental maze whenever I have to buy gifts for girls. And in this month itself, there are two. One is for my 9-year-old cousin (being 32 this year, I have a pre-puberty cousin? Yes, I do. So, sue me) and another is for my niece, who's turning 3 this month.

Birthday present problem For my cousin, I was thinking about buying soft toys because it's hard to go wrong with soft toys. I mean, doesn't everybody adore soft toys anymore? But no, I decided against it. I went into the clothes department to get her some fairy costumes, a princess crown or glass slippers, whatever! But it occurred to me that I didn't know how to pick out female clothing at all. Then, I jogged myself into the stationery department, thinking of getting her a school bag. Boy, a school bag? How boring can I be? So, off I go again, into the books department this time. And I got her something that I don't know whether she will like or not ? but I am quite sure it's hard to go wrong with books. Furthermore, I know I would have loved to get books as a present if I was still 9-years-old. Granted the fact that I was a major bookworm at that time.

It's even worse for my 3-year-old niece ? I went from one department to another, shopping mall to shopping mall for days on end. Up till today, I come home empty-handed, wide-eyed and clueless. What in the world do you buy for a 3-year-old girl who already has everything she can ever wish for?

"Bah!" to girls.

Tackling Another thing that bothers me is that I tend to be a little?.erm?.adventurous and wild with my kids. They're boys, so, they naturally like to roughhouse a little and jump, hop, skip, run, hide, scare?.tackle each other. And being a good mom, that's precisely the kind of games that I play with them. I tackle them to the ground, wrestler-fashion, knocking my knuckles into their skull, digging my fingernails into their backs and sides, biting into the butts, pushing their heads into pillows?..

When my nieces come into the room and take one look at the kind of games that we're playing with each other, they have 2 different reactions. One, they gape at us. Two, they want to join us but is afraid to. I remember playing the roughhousing game with one of my nieces, throwing her up in the air the way I throw Jared. She went stiff like a baseball bat in the air and when I caught her back into my arms, she looked like she was going to barf! Her face was green and her lips suddenly had cracks on them.

I gingerly placed her back on the floor and she sped out of the room.

As for having a daughter, forget about it. I'll stick with my two monsters and continue with our snarling and growling activities until they decide that they want to play Barbie with their girlfriends. I will continue to enjoy my boys?.until next year rolls around.

Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She loves nothing more than blowing bubbles in the park with her 2 kids, Joshua and Jared and considers getting her hair yanked while playing horsey. To her, it's a privilege she treasures. She is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com

---

Is Your Child Ready For an Allowance?

Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More

Teaching Reading: Part 3, Whole Language Vs. Phonics

There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More

Over-Indulgence And Over-Attentiveness - Two Dangers Parents Must Avoid!

We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More

Is Your Discipline Damaging the Spirit of the Child?

If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More

From Birth to Teen, Spirituality in Children

Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More

Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs

Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More

Guide Your Kids! This 3-D Map Leads to Character

A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More

Unschooling - the Benefits of Home Based Education

Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More

Ten Helpful Little Tips For New Parents

The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child Respect?

A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More

Guilty of Not Following Her Heart

Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More

Reading, Writing, Rithmetic -- and Recess!

Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More

Use Encouragement Instead of Criticism to Help Children Improve

Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More

Coping With Colic

Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More

The Legend and Charm of The Tooth Fairy

The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a... Read More

Nurtured by Love or Matured by Nature?

"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More

Friends Are A Gift You Give Yourself

My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More

Uniforms

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children

Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More

What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More

How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child?s Risk Of Learning Disabilities

Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More

Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World

Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More

How You Can Help Your Child To Be An Avid Reader

Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

Aptitude, Achievement, Processing Deficit - What Does It All Mean?

You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More

Child Education

The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More

Ease Bug Bites with Easy Herbs

Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More

Diet Sodas And How They Can Affect Kids

Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More

Are You Meeting ALL Your Childs Basic Needs?

This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More

Spelling Games

The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More

Career Education: Does Not Mean the 6 Year College Plan

Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More