Quality Time with Your Teen

It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with your teen without totally intruding in his/her life. You want to talk to them, they don't want to talk to you (most of the time anyway). I've found the best way to connect with my teenage daughter is to enter her world and do the things she likes to do. There's a saying that if you want to understand your child's world you have to play with them, no matter how old they are.

You don't always have to be even directly interacting with your teen in order to be involved in their world. Just being around the same influences they are, and taking an interest in their activities, lets them know that you care and that you understand what they deal with from day to day. Then later, at home, you can talk about the things you have experienced together. It's a great way to connect. Here are some ways my teenage daughter and I have spent time together:

• My daughter was involved in a music group that did a lot of fundraising that required a lot of involvement by the parents. At first I was really resistant to the time involved, but I soon realized how much fun it was to hang out with my daughter and the other teens and their parents.

• School activities are another great way to be involved in your child's life, at any age. When they're younger there's field trips, class parties, etc., you can be involved with, but when they get older there are activities like school plays that parents are a very important part of. I've helped sell tickets, worked at the bake sale...where I didn't even spend time with my daughter at all, but it meant a lot to her that I was there supporting her.

• Attending sporting events is also important to your child. When they get older it seems like they don't really care if you're there or not, but it is important to them even if they don't say so. It makes them feel like you care about what they do.

• Helping my daughter with school projects has been a great way for us to spend time together. She gets to do the hard part of doing all the research and writing, and then I do the fun part of helping her put it all together in the end. Even with older teens, most of them don't particularly enjoy doing all this work by themselves, even if you know they're completely capable of it. I don't do the work for her, just help her by giving her feedback on her ideas and giving her a hand. Often beforehand even I will go to the library with her and help her sort through reference materials. I know it means a lot to her, especially when she's doing a huge project and is completely overwhelmed.

• Another way I've been involved with my daughter is to be a youth leader in her church youth group. Again, I am not actually spending time with her there most of the time, but I am experiencing the same things she's experiencing and it's giving us something in common that we can both relate to and discuss. Those times together have been very meaningful.

As you can see, not all of these activities involve me actually talking to and hanging out with my daughter. You know as well as I do that our teens don't always want us hanging around them. I'm happy for the time I do get to spend with my daughter, for the little time I have left with her. When we have things in common my daughter is much more likely to talk to me and share her feelings with me. When I don't know what she experiences, it is very hard for me to relate what she is going through. These shared experiences have opened up many more opportunities for us to share and connect that we wouldn't otherwise have.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

---

Tips for Keeping Packed Lunches Fun and Interesting

? Let the child choose his or her own lunch... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part III

Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More

Our Recommended Eating Program for ADHD

Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More

Planning the Ultimate Kid Birthday Party

Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice

Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More

Adolescence - Clues and Advice

Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More

Lets Not Hurry Children Through Childhood

Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More

Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World

Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More

Saying No To Our Children

Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More

Your Job as a Role Model

A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More

Work Before Play

Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More

The Challenges of Single Parenting

Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More

Whos Your Daddy? How to be a Great Dad in 5 to 7 Minutes

I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More

Meningitis and Septicaemia

Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More

Teaching Respect And Values In Todays Society

The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More

15 New Years and Holiday Resolutions For Parents

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More

The Importance of Fathers

There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More

Homes for Troubled Teens: Therapeutic and Residential

For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More

Raising a Self-Sufficient Teen

Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More

Celebrating Mom: How To Make Every Day Her Special Day!

Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More

Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony

Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More

Reading, Writing, Rithmetic -- and Recess!

Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More

The Parent Teen Relationship: How Effective is Yours?

It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More

Breastfeed a Toddler - Why?

Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More

Who Will Be Their Guardian?

If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More

Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

Making Internet Chat Safe For Your Children

No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More

The Importance of Mothers

Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More

While You Have the Time, Take the Time

Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More