Childrens Friendships Made Easy

Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.

More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.

Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.

Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.

The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.

Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.

Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.

It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.

Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.

Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.

However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

---

Entering Their Imaginative World

In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More

A Chance for a Home

"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More

What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More

Parenting Univeristy: Potty Training 101

When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More

How to Make Kids More Likeable?

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More

Mommy, I Can?t Sleep! Sleep Disturbance in Children

"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More

Hiking with Children

There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More

You Dont Need a Supernanny to Be an Active Parent

The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More

7 Ways Busy Families Can Volunteer

Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child Respect?

A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions

Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More

ADHD: Some Survival Strategies for Parents

In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More

Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More

Influencing Adolescents - Guided Democracy

You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More

The Mystery of Picky Eaters

If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More

Boundaries - Why Theyre Needed

Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More

The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do

1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More

Just Average

What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More

Back to School - Disappontment?

Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More

5 Tips For Talking To Your Children About What They See In The News

Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More

How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

Want To Further Your Childrens Studies?

Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More

Grandparents --- Homeschool Your Grandchildren and Feel Younger

Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More

Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism

Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More

Patterns For Plus Size Children

Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More

Homeschooling ? Can I Do It?

Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More

Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children

Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More

6 Tried & True Fun Ways to Educate and Entertain Your Preschooler

1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More

Eating Disorders in Children

If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More

Legacy to Your Children

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More

Is Your Child Ready For an Allowance?

Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More