Failure or Future? Its Up To YOU!

We all want to comfort our children after they suffer any kind of failure or disappointment. It's only natural. But the best parents I've met have resisted the urge to "make it all better."

Instead, they ask a simple question: "What happened?"

The question is asked kindly and respectfully, but the intention is clear: to help the child understand why she didn't reach her goal. Where did she go wrong? Was she unprepared? Did she not work hard enough? Or is her talent simply in another area?

This kind of questioning may seem rather sophisticated for a young child, but will teach an important lesson: failure can be viewed as a springboard to improvement, not as a dead-end or a reason for self-pity.

Would most parents like to provide a disappointment-free life for their kids? Probably. But stop and think for a moment: Is that realistic? Do you know anyone who has not had to confront disappointment or failure? Given that reality, don't we do our kids a greater kindness when we support them in learning from disappointment than when we try to shield them from it entirely?

Parents who react to their children's failures in this manner provide skills that will last a lifetime. In other words, they raise people who are able to recognize their own competence -- and never give up!

###

Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement which is now available on Amazon.com

For more information about 'The Four Foundations' please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

"...becau se you're not raising a child - you're raising a future adult"

---

How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life

It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More

Old-Fashioned Ways to Inspire Children

"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More

Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? How Character Building Charts Keep You Sane

Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More

How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting?

It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More

Labeling is Disabling: Achieving Congruent Communication

A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More

Summer Survival

Summer Survival The... Read More

Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More

Are You Meeting ALL Your Childs Basic Needs?

This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More

Parents Rights Violated By Public School Compulsory Attendence Laws

Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More

Parents --- Homeschooling Can Take a Lot Less Time Than You Think

The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More

Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs

Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More

Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children

Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More

Strengths and Weaknesses

All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: What Do We Mean by Attention Anyway?

When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More

A Little Love, Please?

Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More

Unique Baby Names

What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More

?Gimme? Proof Your Kids: How To Keep Your Child?s Materialism In Check

It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More

Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer

Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More

Road Trip with Kids

Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More

March of the Penguins - A Fun Learnig Tool

Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More

Child Education

The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More

Detox To Help Conception

Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More

Lets Not Hurry Children Through Childhood

Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More

Remember The Generation Gap?

The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More

Joining a Gang: How to Help Kids Prevent it, How to Tell if Theyve Joined One, How to Help Them Out

While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More

How To Foster An Environment For Successful Communications With Your Child

As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More

Top 25 Children Quotations

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More

You Dont Need a Supernanny to Be an Active Parent

The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More

Potty Dolls to Accelerate Potty Training Success

Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More

Turn off the TV -- and Turn on to Physical Activity!

Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More

Attaboy! Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence

Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More

Calming Tips for Hyperactive Children

Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More