Childhood Friendships

Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary part of growing up. While some of our children will maintain these friendships into adulthood, many will not. Kids move away or they find other friends with more current interests and grow apart. Whatever form a childhood friendship is taking, know that these relationships are vital to your child's well-being and growth as a human being.

Your child may have one very special friend from the time they are in diapers or they might have a gaggle of giggling girl friends or a thunderstorm of wild boy friends. These bonds can be helped along or a wedge can be placed between them by the parents. Depending upon your feelings about your child's friend, you could welcome the child into your home and be gracious or you could find that the child your child is enthralled with is a demon incarnate. It's up to you to teach your kids how to interact in healthy ways with their peers or how to let negative friendships go.

While I've been traumatized by a few of my daughters' friends, I have liked most of them. The few children whom I found intolerable were not too welcome in my home, however, if one of my daughter's insisted on a play date with that undesirable child, I would allow the friendship to take its course, mostly to try and figure out what in the world my child liked about her/him. Made for some interesting lessons in humanity. ;-) Most of these friendships have faded in good time, on their own. One or two of these kids have actually won me over and now are among my favorites, although I must admit these kids were basically OK to begin with. They just came with issues I didn't want to deal with. I dealt for my child's sake and all turned out well.

A child who is a truly bad influence on your child will need to be shunned, as painful as that may seem to your child at the time. I find that if you adequately explain that the child in question isn't very "nice" or has actually hurt or emotionally abused your child; this can be sufficient reason for your child to understand the situation without too much trauma. If they resist your urging to make new friends or avoid the horrid one, you will probably need to be tolerant until your child digests the circumstances and moves on in her own time. This helps your child learn to differentiate between people they want to spend time with, those they don't and to make their own choices.

The children you like and who are good influences on your child should be invited over often. Have them stay for dinner, take them along on family or fun outings and allow them to become part of your extended family just as your own friends are.

Children need to know their friends are welcome in their home. Treat their buddies with the same respect you would expect your children to treat your pals. They will see how you interact with others who visit and will learn how to be good friends and gracious hosts themselves.

© Rexanne Mancini - 2003

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com: http://www.rexanne.com - Visit her site for advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

---

Road Trip with Kids

Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More

The Effects of Televised Sexual Content on Adolescents

According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More

Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World

Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part two

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Build Trust

``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More

Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny

There are many things to like about the television show... Read More

Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!

My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More

Teacher Tips: Your Room Set-Up and ADHD Students

Thank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More

Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear

Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More

Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...)

I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men... Read More

Top Seven Tips for Back-to-School Success

Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More

The Muffed Dance

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More

Imaginations Soar

Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 3 More Dangerous Myths

MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More

Of Kings and Youth Leadership

(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More

Second Letter to My Daughter

Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More

Assume Personal Responsibility? Who, Me?

As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More

The Importance of Mothers

Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More

Teaching Your Child To Lift a Car

Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: Training Your Child for Success

This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More

The POWER of Reading

Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

Help Your Children to Love Reading

It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More

What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All

Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More

Just What Is A Learning Disability?

A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More

10 Ways You Can Advocate For Your Child With A Learning Disability

Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Late vs. Too Late, and 5 More Sure Fire Tips

Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More

Study Skills - Help Young People Study Smarter, Not Harder

Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More

Building Your Childs Self-Esteem

According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More

Selecting A Quality Day Care Center

Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More

ADHD Treatment: Strategy and Philosophy

If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More

My Sons Deployment

One of the most difficult struggles in life for a... Read More