I Cant Sleep Without You

When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household, my entire world was transformed into a warzone and funfare at the same time. He became the focus of my attention throughout the entire day and I live to make sure he is alright. I made sure his food contained just the right amount of nutrients, helped stimulated him with playtime, read to him, slept with him.

You see, offering cuddles and hugs is not the usual reward or privilege we got when me and my siblings were kids. Infact, it was quite unheard of. Sure, we had the usual dosages of "Good girl" and a hug but me and my parents never hugged as much as I hug with my kid. We can even go into a hug-athon when we want to. Hugging, kissing, hugging, kissing, hugging....etc.

Sleeping with my child came naturally to me and my husband. It felt so good to hold his hand or drape a careless arm over his tummy while we slumber. It's so comfortable and proves to be a suitable and close-to-perfect setting for us.

Sure, I was warned about not being able to make him sleep in his own bed later on and stuffs but my need to sleep with my child supercedes those warning. I didn't mind getting kicked in the face once too many times in the night. I didn't mind getting jumped on in the morning.

Now, the problem is not my son. It's me. My son can sleep perfectly fine without me. It's me who can't sleep without him beside me! I know, I am so terrible at this. I need to feel that he is near me in order to even have a short shut-eye.

Now who's dependent on whom?

I tried placing him on our bed, lulling him to sleep and then moving him onto the crib before I sleep. Didn't work cause NOW I CAN'T sleep. I'd make a very calculated guess that my husband feels the same way about the sleeping arrangement although I would say he feels a little less committed to the approach. He sure could sleep when he needed to. But of course, I have been the one who had to consistently put the child to bed and I have gotten accustomed to the feeling of that little body and those tiny fingers intertwined with mine.

A little basics here for sleeping with a baby nearby.

If you don't like it, stop it. Try getting your baby to sleep on his own as soon as you possibly can. If you're unlike me, it's best to make sure you can get as much rest as possible. Sleeping in another room or in another bed is as possible as sleeping WITH baby. Besides, there's been many reports about sleeping with baby in bed, which includes the possibility of snuffling baby or rolling over the slumbering tot while the adults are in deep sleep.

If you're sleeping with baby in the middle (that means between you and your partner), try moving baby to the other side of the bed. That means, to one side. The bed would have to be leaning against a wall or something concrete in order to prevent baby from falling off the bed. This sleeping arrangement could help you and your partner bond better, especially when you need an adult cuddle in the middle of the night, instead of a baby one.

If you like sleeping with your child, then you might have to endure some unwanted advice from others who have already helped their toddlers to sleep alone in their own beds. Every set of parents have different expectations and standards of raising their children and your friend/relative is not any different. Their advices are probably made in good will and they think what they're doing is the absolute right thing. Never squabble with your friends/relatives about issues like this one. The best way is to smile and react as little as possible by saying things like, "He's thriving and we love the arrangement now. Thanks anyway".

I have once heard this saying which goes like this, "Once you give birth to a child, you will henceforth spend the rest of your life seperating yourself from him". That is so so so so true. I couldn't agree more with that. You see, I can't sleep alone (without my child) because I don't want to seperate myself from him. He gives me security and I know he is safe sleeping with me. I am a breath away from saving him in "life threatening" situations. I want to know that he's so close I can breathe his scent. I can't seperate myself from him. I know I will have to someday.

The most important thing for me to do, is to slowly ease myself out of this habit and this need. For one, I am being selfish when I choose an arrangement which fits me best. I need to follow my child's lead if he appears to WANT or is READY to sleep on his own.

Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and writer who is working out of her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She lives in PJ with her husband, Peter and 2 sons, Joshua and Jared. Marsha is the author of "Raising little magicians", "No Products to Sell" and other books. For more information on Marsha, visit http://www.marshamaung.com and to find out mroe about her books, visit http://www.lulu.com/marshamaung.

---

Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

Real Monsters Under Your Bed

There may really be a real monster under your kidâ??s... Read More

Second Letter to My Daughter

Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More

Secrets from the Classroom: Avoiding Summer Learning Loss

In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Are Sleep Overs with the Opposite Sex OK?

Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More

You Make Me Sick And Other Things Parents Say in Anger

Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the... Read More

Watch Your Language! - How Parents Can Help Kids Help Themselves

'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More

Andy Griffith Show Family Lessons

Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens

What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More

Child Education

The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More

Meet The Twixters!

There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More

6 Ways to Communicate Clearly with Your Teen

How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More

What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity

The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More

Stress is No Kiddy Matter

Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More

More than Mom and Dad

Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More

The Mystery of Picky Eaters

If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More

How To Potty Train In Two Days

Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More

Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!

Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right

Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More

War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online

Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More

PG Rating Isnt What It Used To Be

If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More

Intro to Medications for ADD ADHD

The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More

Ready, Aim, Achieve! - Become An On-purpose Family Through Goal Setting

Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More

What is Incest?

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More

Awesome Dads Top Ten Ways To Be The Foundation of Your Family

Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More

Best Investment

Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More

The Recipe For The Making Of A Self-Assured Child: One Part Communication, Two Parts Love

Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More

Fizzy Sherbet ? A Sweet Science Lesson for Your Kids!

Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience

Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More

Positive Parenting - Oops! I Really Lost My Temper With My Kids, What Now?

Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More