How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are you going to deal with it?

It can get very frustrating for a mother who is yelled at every time she says 'no' to a child. In my clinic, I've seen parents who feel desperate when their son or daughter who used to behave like a "saint" is now rebellious, oppositional, and involved in drugs.

As a parent, what are your options?

Establish a Hierarchy of Consequences for Inappropriate Behaviour

Different behaviours require varying degrees of discipline. There is no single method effective for all individuals and all types of unacceptable behaviour.

One effective way of instilling order is by creating a graduated form of discipline - from a simple and effortless method to a more serious way of dealing with the behaviour.

Ignoring the Behaviour

Certain behaviour becomes worse if you pay attention to the child. Temper tantrum is one example. An effective way to deal with some behaviour like temper tantrum is to ignore it. By doing this, you don't reward it with too much attention.

Granny Gestures

This is the second line of offence against inappropriate behaviour. This type of discipline can deal with the first infractions regardless of whether they are major or minor. Granny gestures involve hand movements such as waving the right pointing finger back and forth after an incident. Immediately after an inappropriate behaviour such as not cleaning up or not making the bed, wave your pointing finger.

Counting One to Five

Counting one to five is the next level if your child remains defiant or unresponsive to your granny gestures. This process requires a reminder that the unacceptable behaviour still exists and if it continues after you count to five, then a more serious form of consequence will be enforced. Also, counting provides children the time to think and to realize their mistake.

Time-out

Time-out is a more serious form of discipline. If the inappropriate behaviour persists, you tell your child to go to one corner of your house. The corner should be well lit, safe, and not isolated. It should be a place where you can still see what your child is doing.

What should be the appropriate duration for time-out? In my opinion, the duration should depend upon the nature of the infraction, the frequency of such infraction, and the age of your child.

Taking Away Privileges

Taking away privileges requires that you first identify your child's likes and interests at home and that you take one or more of them away for a certain period of time as a consequence of inappropriate behaviour.

Take away the toy or activity that interests your child. Taking away privileges should be time-limited, realistic, and feasible.

Copyright © 2005. Dr. Michael G. Rayel ? author (First Aid to Mental Illness?Finalist, Reader's Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An Emotional Intelligence or EQ Game. For more information, visit http://www.oikosgame.com and http://www.soardime.com

---

The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble

To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More

Dinner Table Drama

It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More

How Do You Find the Best Car Seat to Protect Your Child

Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More

Motivation - The Key to Your Childs Educational Success

For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More

The Homeopathic Nutraceutical Attend as an Alternative to Ritalin

You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More

How to Create an Attitude of Cooperation

Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More

Childhood Obesity

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More

Children - Blessing or Curse

You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More

Should The Dad-To-Be Attend The Birth?

Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More

Are Public Schools Anti-Parent?

Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More

Simple Indulgences for September

As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More

Childrens Books And Educational Toys - Can They Still Be Fun And Have Educational Value

It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More

How Children Learn

Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More

Hiking with Children

There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More

Reclaiming Her Identity: A Mothers Diary

After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More

End Homework Battles

Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More

Celebrating Life with Children in September

Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More

Car Wash Fundraiser Preparation

Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More

Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child

Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More

Valuable Parenting Tip

Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More

The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Say NO!

Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

What About ADHD Teens and Driving?

This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

Bring On The Music To Help Your Child Learn Faster And More Effectively

Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: Improving Concentration and Focus

Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion... Read More

Strong-willed Kids: Raising a Spirited Child

Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More

More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting

Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More