Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids

Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make you feel dreadful. However consistency is one of the most important elements in the relationship with your children, but it is the one most frequently overlooked.

Consistency means dealing with the little misbehaviours and not letting them grow into bigger behaviours. It means saying no to children's constant requests for five more minutes of television at night or a third serve of ice cream. It means following through and allowing children to experience a consequence when they misbehave every time. It doesn't mean if children arrive home after dark from a friend's place you ground them sometimes but at other times you just voice your disapproval. That type of inconsistency makes you responsible for children's misbehaviour and teaches children nothing about accountability.

Consistency also means that both parents have a similar approach to behaviours. If mum is too strict and dad is too lenient children will know who to go to if they wish to take advantage. They will soon play one parent off against each other. If a child wants to get away without doing a job or stay an extra hour at a friend's place just ask dad because he is easy-going. Even if you are separated, talk about your approaches to discipline and find some common ground. Agree on such issues as family rules, pocket money, and guidelines for going out and suitable consequences for misbehaviour.

If you disagree with a partner's approach do so behind closed doors. When unplanned situations occur don't be afraid to tell your children that you need to consult with your partner before making a decision. Children will realise that you are working as a team and that you are making a considered approach to their behaviour or request.

Consistency, like routines, are often sacrificed by busy working parents and put in the 'too hard basket'. When we are tired, stretched and overworked the last thing we want to do is engage in a battle with children over what are sometimes petty issues. You may have spent the whole day dealing with difficult customers or colleagues only to come home and find that you have another battle on your hands with equally belligerent children. So to avoid an argument, a tantrum or tears you give in to your child's unruly behaviour or unreasonable request.

But giving in rather than being consistent and holding your ground is a smart long-term strategy. Kids learn quickly how far they can push a parent before they give in. If you give in occasionally they will learn that if they push you hard enough and long enough you will cave in. So consistency is about being strong and holding your ground. That is hard work because the average child will push parental boundaries about 30per cent of the time and more difficult kids push your boundaries twice that much. It is hard work being consistent but good parenting demands it.

A comprehensive strategy to help you effectively manage children's behaviour is available in Michael Grose's landmark parenting book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

---

Why Modern Moms Are Going Back to the Basics ? The Evolution of the Cloth Diaper

Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More

Communication Mistakes Parents Often Make - And Easy Ways To Correct Them

As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More

How to Prepare for Labor

Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More

How To Be A Bad Mother

As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More

The POWER of Your Words

Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More

Small Children, Languages and Myths

Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More

Financially Stable Kids ? Prepared for College

We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More

Influencing Adolescents - Guided Democracy

You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More

Making Internet Chat Safe For Your Children

No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More

Teach Your Children About the Importance of Water

The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More

Turn off the TV -- and Turn on to Physical Activity!

Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More

Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games

Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More

The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid Them: Top 5 Internet Safety Tips

The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More

A Place For Everything: Its Childs Play

What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More

Children Need Roots and Wings

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More

Helping Your Children Develop Their Self-Discipline

We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More

10 Ways You Can Advocate For Your Child With A Learning Disability

Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Teach Values to Your Kids

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More

Potty Training Caveats- Dont Start Too Soon

The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More

Watering Your Young Child?s Mind

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More

Guide to Choosing Plush Toys for Children

Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More

Pregnancy and Excercising - 6 Reasons to Excercise During Pregnancy

Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More

Life Stuck In Fast Forward

the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More

Managing Sibling Rivalry

It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More

Gaining a Child?s Trust

My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More

Stay at Home Mom You Need to Raise Cowboys

Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More

The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

Peer Pressure - Five Ways to Help Teenagers Beat Peer Influence

Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More

Is Your Teen Stressed? Teach Them How to Manage Their Time, Schoolwork, and Leisure Activities

I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More

10 Secrets To Know You?re A Good Working Parent To Your Kids!

How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More

Tips for Single Parents

Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More

Go Ahead - Make Dads Day

Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More