Finding Answers to Underachievement

Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult and complex process. Let intuition be your guide, knowing when and how to ask the right questions. Here are 7 steps to get you started:

1. Narrow the Problem.

By the time a family member or teacher steps in to help an underachieving child, it may be months or years since problems may have first appeared. It can be extremely difficult sorting out the source of difficulties, and what problems (depression, anxiety, apathy) are primary or secondary. Nevertheless, narrowing the problem is often the most first step in finding specific answers to underachievement, and realize it may take some time. Look for patterns in certain subjects, assignments, homework, or teachers. Are there more problems taking information in or getting it out? Did things get more complicated in middle school or when classroom expectations increased? Could there be a 'silent' learning disability? Could your child be overscheduled? Are problems related to subject areas like reading, writing, or listening?

2. Identify Strengths.

Realize the importance of strengths in designing solutions. Children need to feel good enough about themselves to have the mental energy to tackle school frustrations. Underachieving children often they have no strengths and they may even have existential depression. Also learning strengths should tell you the best routes for overcoming learning or performance 'blocks'. Look for strengths in personal or hands-on learning, language, or the visual arts. Problem solve best memory routes and styles of expression.

3. Share Your Stories.

Realize that you are probably a powerful role model. Share your realistic stories about learning difficulties, personal obstacles, and discuss what you continue to grapple with. Be aware that underachieving children easily succumb to 'catastrophism'. Encourage them, and give them perspective.

4. Commit to a Change.

Most children are already exhausted and defeated by the time you try to work with them. Encourage them to commit to a change and start small. The answers will be found by problem solving, and encourage them to celebrate every small bit of progress as it arrives.

5. Don't Forget Your Parachute.

Encourage realism and don't expect all your changes to work the first time. Underachieving children often need some aggressive accommodations (reduced work load, assistive technology, adjusted deadlines) at first to allow them to develop and become efficient with new styles of processing information or expressing ideas. Don't forget to take breaks and to enlist the cooperation of teachers as you devise a plan for overcoming your child's underachievement.

6. Adopt a Team Approach to Problem-Solving.

Partner with your child problem solving situations and crises. Let your child express her worries and desires. Develop a plan that seems sensible to you both, and then push forward.

7. Remember the Big Picture.

Realize that many of the anxieties of underachievement come from personal fears of futility and catastrophe. Fears about time running out and bleak futures need to be confronted and carted out to the waste bin. What you need to do is focus on the present, plan sensible changes, allow time to see their effects, and adjust plans accordingly. Constantly redirect the focus on the big picture - how can we help make them more happy, reduce their frustrations, accentuate their talents, and prepare them for their future.

About the Authors: Brock and Fernette Eide are physicians and consultants to a wide range of parent, teacher, and clinical groups seeking more information about learning and brain-based solutions. Together they have authored more than 50 articles and they speak internationally for keynote lectures, seminars, and small groups. The Eides have a free Neurolearning Newsletter and can be contacted through their website at: http://www.neurolearning.com or by email at: feide@u.washington.edu or drseide@neurolearning.com.

---

Its OK to Say No

In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More

When A Parent Is Deployed

When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More

Our Recommended Eating Program for ADHD

Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More

The Parent Teen Relationship: How Effective is Yours?

It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling - For Mothers

"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More

Why Me?

Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More

Be Serious With Your Child Future

As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More

Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD

Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More

Whats Mine Is Mine

You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More

You Dont Need a Supernanny to Be an Active Parent

The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More

Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting

For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More

Bad Company

Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More

The Disadvantages of Home Schooling

"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More

Watering Your Young Child?s Mind

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More

Family Meetings 101

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More

The Safest Stuffed Toys for the Kids on your Gift List

Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More

A Chart for Everything

For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

Intro to Medications for ADD ADHD

The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More

Breastfeeding, Its My Right

My name is Duncan and I'm 2 years old. I... Read More

What Do Chinese Water Torture and Arguing with Children Have in Common?

Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More

EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More

3 Rules to Making TeensTechnology Work For You

Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More

Old-Fashioned Ways to Inspire Children

"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More

What is Hyperactivity in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More

Help Your Children to Love Reading

It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More

Helping Your Child Cope With A Long-Term Illness

All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More

Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child

Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More

Am I Really A Stroller-Monger?

I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More

Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More