The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)

Four of the boys at training tonight are preparing themselves for their first fight at our forthcoming Christians vs. Lions promotion, scheduled for only three weeks hence. All of these lads are boxers.

Three of those four ? Joel, Daniel and young Dave ? are friends, finishing their last year of school together. They are a great example of how guys from different ethnic backgrounds (Australian, Latin American, and Lebanese respectively) can still be the best of mates. The fourth guy, Louis, is an enormous Islander man. I'm not sure whether he's Tongan or from the Cook Islands, but he's a gentle giant really. He reminds me of Mahendar ? a regular here at the Youth Centre. They're both big, black and burly, but with gentle hearts. Louis has a few years on the other boys who were there tonight. He's a natural in the ring, and plays the role of the older brother very well indeed.

These four boys are the cream of our crop in the fight club at the moment. They are all capable pugilists, but more than that, they are each a good embodiment of what our club is on about ? courage, integrity, self-discipline and teamwork. This isn't to say that none of them have ever been troublemakers. Indeed, I've got a court appearance coming up with one of the boys, scheduled for shortly after his fight, and he's on quite serious charges. Even so, I've seen nothing but positive growth since he joined the club, and I'm hoping for positive results both in his fight and in his court case.

What is it that makes fight training such a powerful tool in the molding of young lives? There was a time when I thought of fighting as just another form of sport. I have come to believe though that fight training taps into something deep in the male psyche, in a way that no other sport does.

When I used to talk to my old girls in the church about the problems we had with our young people, they often used to say 'what we need is another war'. I always thought that that was a terrible thing to say ? that a war was the last thing that anybody wanted. And of course the girls didn't really want a war. They had just experienced the benefit of being part of a community that had learnt to pull together through difficult times. And they had seen the positive effect that soldiering could have on the lives of young men.

I believe that men were made to fight. It's part of our genetic makeup. We may have managed to emerge from the jungle, but there's still a bit of the jungle in each of us, and pugilistic activity keys right in to those ancient impulses ? releasing the wild man within.

This theory isn't original to me of course. It's part of the fabric of the Bible ? there behind every great warrior-king who showed himself to be a 'mighty man of God' in battle, and behind Jacob, who went toe to toe with God Himself and yet lived to talk about it (Genesis 32)! These were men who knew how to fight and pray and bleed and serve.

For a more philosophical exposition on the significance of fighting, we need look no further than Plato's Republic.

For those who haven't read it, in the Republic Socrates explores the concept of justice through examining both the just society and the just individual, and then he goes on to delineate their common elements. On the societal level he notes that a just community is made up of a number of vital components parts: rulers who govern, workers who labour, and an army that functions to protect them both. In the individual he finds a similar configuration ? the mind that governs the body, the limbs that do the work, and the 'themos' (which is often translated as 'temper' or 'aggression') that plays a parallel role in protecting the individual. Justice in the Republic consists in having all of the component parts (in either individual or society) being present and working together properly.

In the wisdom of the ancient Greeks then, the 'themos' is the vital third component in the human constitution, along with the mind and the body. Without the 'themos', no individual is complete, and at a social level, no society will ever achieve a true state of justice.

It is my opinion that one of the negative legacies of feminism in Western culture has been an attempt to deny the 'themos', which seems to be more strongly present in men than in women. This has been for the most understandable of reasons ? because of the excesses of male violence. But perhaps it's time that we realised that trying to eliminate 'themos' from society altogether is like trying to eliminate spiders and snakes because we find them distasteful. We soon discover that the created order needs all of its creatures ? even those that some of us find ugly ? if it is to function properly.

My experience with a vast number of men is that they tend to be either functioning as doormats to their wives and girlfriends, or they're beating up on them. This is a reflection of the same crisis in dealing with the 'themos'. When we attempt to repress the themos', it often spurts out in the most horrible and destructive of forms. When we successfully repress it, we emasculate our men, so that they're no longer able to stand up for anything. Ironically, of course, such modern day men are not only unable to offer any strength to society. They're no longer even attractive to the women they sought to please.

The only constructive alternative is for us to reharness the 'themos' and channel it creatively. We need to get in touch with that distinctive male energy ? recognise it, affirm it, and then learn to bring it under control so that it can be put to good use. Perhaps when we are able to do this, then we will see this country produce leaders of the calibre of Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, or Mahatma Ghandi ? strong people of principle who stand up powerfully for what they believe in. As it is, our leaders always seem to come across as being either 'wooses' or criminals or both. God knows we need some real men in this country who know what it means to love their women, to be fathers to their children, and to serve God and their community with their strength!

Fight training, I do believe, is a means to getting at that 'themos' and learning to bring it under control. When done in the right way, fight training can help a young person to discover who they are and can help them to bring their futures into focus. They can then come to see their role as warriors in this society who will stand up and use their energy to build a better community and to fight for things worth fighting for.

What about these boys who I watched training with me tonight? Will they go on to become 'mighty men of God'? I don't know. But they're on the right track, and they're further ahead now than when they first started their training..

You have just read an excerpt from 'Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist', a book by 'Fighting' Father Dave Smith - Parish Priest, community worker, professional fighter, father of three.

Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to help fund his work. He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, has a sixth-degree martial arts black belt, and has received numerous awards for his work with young people.

Get a free preview copy of his book, 'Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist' when you sign up for Dave's newsletter at www.fatherdave.org

---

Give Your Child the Gift of Self-Esteem

Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More

Fizzy Sherbet ? A Sweet Science Lesson for Your Kids!

Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More

Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer

Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More

Thirteen Values You Can Teach Through Homework

Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More

Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?

Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More

Safe From Strangers

There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More

Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety

Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More

Managing Your Stepfamily

If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More

The Added Advantage In African American Childrens Education: Computer Homeschooling (Part 2)

We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit how... Read More

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More

Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!

This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More

Ten Tips to Stimulate Your Newborns Senses

A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More

Helpful Tips for the Adoptive Grandparent

Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent.... Read More

My Stomach Hurts - I Cant Go to School Today!

It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More

Parenting---Roots and Wings

I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More

Teaching Reading : Part Two

We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Build Trust

``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More

What is Hyperactivity in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More

The 5 Babysitter Commandments

Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More

Labeling is Disabling: Achieving Congruent Communication

A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More

How To Foster An Environment For Successful Communications With Your Child

As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More

You Want Whaaat???

Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More

When Everybody Does It Comes Back to Haunt You

Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More

Screaming Kids Driving You Nuts? Four Rules to Help You Keep Your Sanity!

Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More

Secret Of Your Genuis Child

Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More

Dad, Go Ahead and Cry

She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions

Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More

Get Down (On The Floor!) And Play With Your Children

When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More

Teenagers in America Today

"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More

Help Your Children to Love Reading

It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More

Book Review: How to Get Your Child to Love Reading

How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More

Who Will Be Their Guardian?

If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The 4 Ds of Time with Family

How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More