An ADD Case Study: What Does it Mean to Fail?

Josh is a client of mine who is a junior in college. He's very smart. He's amazingly smart. Talk to Josh for an hour and you'll know how smart he is. But if you don't know Josh and you look at his grades from previous semesters, you would probably guess that he wasn't smart at all.

Josh gets frustrated in school. He works hard, but often finds that the pressure of test taking overwhelms him, and his grades suffer for it.

Recently, Josh had a midterm in his Economics class. He knew it would be tough. He hates this class, but it's required for his Business major. He had one test in the class already, which he did not pass. For the midterm, there were 3 books to review, and pages upon pages of notes to memorize. But he was determined to get an A. Three weeks prior to the test, he began setting aside review time. He highlighted the books, and took notes on them. He rewrote his notes to memorize them. And he even formed a study group with some of his classmates.

The morning of the test, Josh felt good. He had plenty of rest the night before, he ate a good breakfast, and he was ready to ace his Economics test. He got to the classroom, ready to go, and when the test was handed out and he flipped through it, he froze. The test was four pages long, with short answer questions, math problems, and an essay. Even though he had studied so hard, Josh started to doubt himself. He did his best to push past the anxiety and overwhelm and finish the test. Then he went back to his dorm room and slept. He was physically and emotionally spent.

A week went by before Josh got his test back. It was a B. He had studied so hard, he knew the material, and yet all he got was a B. He was crushed. "I did the best I could, I worked so hard to overcome this test-taking fear, and I failed."

"What exactly did you fail at?" I asked.

"I got a B," he replied. "I put so much work into that test that I should have got an A."

For Josh, it was very easy to look at the situation and see failure. He wanted an A. He wanted to prove to himself, his parents, and his professor that he could ace this test. And Josh was so busy holding himself up to unrealistic expectations, that he completely missed his successes:

He stuck to the structure that we created for him.

He developed excellent study habits to prepare for the test.

He got a B! He answered approximately 80% of the questions correctly, when just a month ago he wasn't passing the class.

I pointed this out to Josh and, although he listened, he only half-heartedly agreed.

Then, two days ago, I got this email from Josh:

"Dear Jen,

I got my philosophy test back today and guess what, I got an A-! I thought about what you said and realized that I have been doing really good studying this semester and I am doing better than I ever have. My dad is so excited about my B and A-. Thanks for pointing it out because sometimes its hard to see the good stuff."

I agree. Sometimes it is hard to see the good stuff - whether you're a student, an artist, an office worker, a business owner, or a parent. When that happens, look harder. Even if you "fail," you'll still learn something about yourself or the situation you're in. And if you're learning, then you're really not failing, are you...?

This story was shared with Josh's permission.

About The Author

Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She encourages clients to increase self-awareness, focus on strengths and talents, and create realistic action plans. She offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times Magazine and The Times (UK). To subscribe to Jennifer's free email newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm. addmanagement@addmanagement.com

In The News:

---

Ayurveda Approach to Genital Herpes

Dosha theory which help in diagnosis of the diseases.According to... Read More

More Sinus Headaches Home Remedies

One of the best sinus headaches home remedies, is called... Read More

Natural Aromatherapy, Essence of Health

Bringing Home Nature's Forest Correctly and SafelyPreserving Both Essence and... Read More

Health Improvements for Your Family

Your husband always seems tired. Your son is always hungry.... Read More

Complementary Therapy The Route To Better Back Health

Find Out How to Reduce and Eliminate Chronic Back Pain... Read More

Hoshin Roshi Ryu

Hoshin Roshi Ryu is a scientific system for achieving an... Read More

Aromatherapy

Although the word aromatherapy has not been around forever, the... Read More

Alzheimers Disease: Notes from a Medical Intuitive?s Casebook

In my medical intuitive practice, I have often been consulted... Read More

Oral Chelation ? What Can It Do For You? (Part 2)

Intravenous chelation therapy was more popular than oral chelation initially.... Read More

Benefits of Human Growth Hormone ? HGH Enhancing Products

Human Growth Hormone has often been referred to as the... Read More

Heart Disease and Homocysteine

Are you aware that one of the most important indicators... Read More

Health Benefits of Tea

Tea: It Does the Body GoodStudies that support the health... Read More

So What is Organic?

With allergies on the increase and sensitivities to synthetics becoming... Read More

How To Lower Cholesterol Without Prescription Drugs

Don't accept that prescription just yet. In most cases it's... Read More

Mud Baths at Your Home Spa- the Pros and Cons

"If you truly love Nature, you will find beauty everywhere"... Read More

Bladder Infections

"If you let that fiery wise blood just sit there... Read More

Autism Behaviour in Childrens

Autism is a developmental disorder and the specific cause for... Read More

Alternative Medicine & Herbal Preparations

Alternative medicine is gaining more attention every day. The idea... Read More

Dandelions! This Common Weed is a Wonderful Spring Tonic

Those Glorious Dandelions! Taraxacum officinale (composite family)Spring is coming! Starting... Read More

Skin Cancer Cured By Curaderm, The Revolutionary New Treatment for Skin Cancer

Curaderm is the most eagerly awaited cancer treatment solution in... Read More

Preventive Medicine - Ayurveda

It should not be hard for anyone to imagine that... Read More

How to Use the Subconscious to Cope with Lifestyle Triggers of Your Pain

Emotions, food and lack of sleep can all be potent... Read More

Five Simple Steps For Treating Heel Pain

If you experience a sharp pain in your heel at... Read More

Aromatherapy Favorites: Patchouli Essential Oil

Patchouli's History and UsesAh, Patchouli oil - people seem to... Read More

Alternative Medicine vs Conventional Medicine - Part 1

The term 'alternative medicine' that is so commonly used today... Read More

Neuro Emotional Technique

NET or Neuro Emotional Technique is one of the newer... Read More

Bois De Santal: The Source of Tranquility

The near extinct bois de santal has a sensual and... Read More

The Future of Healing...

Your FUTURE is NOT in a doctor's office or a... Read More

Concept of Agni in Ayurveda

Being one of the panchamahabhoota, agni (fire) has the characteristic... Read More

Air Purifiers, Are They Worth The Money?

When you suffer from allergies or asthma, you may think... Read More

Back Pain, Joint Pain, Knee Pain, Arthritis and a Host of Other Pain Ailments You Never Have To Suff

"The smallest pain in our little finger gives us more... Read More

Using Herbs to Relieve Hemorrhoids ? Aloe Vera, Bilberry, Butchers Broom

To relieve hemorrhoids first look for ways to get your... Read More

Feng Shui for Your Health and Vitality

How many of us wake up in the morning feeling... Read More