Success Sentences to Help Combat Conversational Crappiness

Essential to your success as an effective, engaging communicator is learning not only what to say, but what not to say. The following guide examines several sentences, phrases and questions that stand in your way of connecting and communicating with confidence.

Do you remember me?
If you walk up to someone and the first words out of your mouth are, "Do you remember me?" I guarantee you will a) make them feel uncomfortable, b) pressure them into giving an answer, and c) cause them to lose face when they regretfully tell you they can't seem to remember who you are.

Some people are good with names; others are good with faces; while others can't seem to recall a single person they've ever met in their lives. But no matter what type of memory a person has, "forgetting someone" is one of the most embarrassing feelings anyone can experience ? especially if they've met you several times before.

Therefore, if you know someone doesn't remember you, rescue them. Just tell them who you are. Odds are, deep down they'll be signing, "Oh thank God he told me his name ? I didn't want to ask!"

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #1: "Hi! I'm Scott with Front Porch Productions ? we met last month at the Chamber Meeting when Carol introduced us."

Here's my card...
The rule of business cards is: don't give it to anyone who doesn't ask for it. It's presumptuous. Sadly, the exchange of business cards is a ritual that our culture has de-formalized over the past 20 years. On the other hand, some high-context cultures like the Japanese view this as a sacred business ritual.

For conversational effectiveness, don't assume that somebody wants your card. Think about it: how many times has someone given you one of their cards ? without asking ? to which you thought to yourself, "Okay?and what do you want me to do with this?"

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #2: "May I give you one of my cards?"

So...what do YOU do?
According to CNN.com, the US rate of unemployment in September of 2004 was somewhere between five and six percent. Unfortunately, those are just the reported cases. So don't overlook the possibility that the person you're talking to is unemployed, was recently fired or is in the process of finding a new job.

Asking someone "So...what do YOU do?" is an assumption. And if you utter this phrase, it may necessitate a shoehorn the size of Shaquille O'Neal to get your foot out of your mouth. Instead, ask less specific, yet open ended questions that empower an engaging response.

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #3: "How do you spend most of your time during the week?"

Can you believe the weather?
I've read almost every book on starting conversations, mingling, breaking the ice, networking and meeting people ? and I have yet to find one that doesn't say:

"Talking about the weather is always a good way to start a conversation."

No it isn't. It's a terrible way. And just because everyone uses it doesn't make it effective. Starting a conversation about the weather means you've settled for starting a conversation about the weather! This makes your conversation partner feel like you've settled for them too. And every time you do it, you show the other person that you aren't a good enough conversationalist to talk about anything other than the weather.

But I have faith in you. You can do better than that.

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #4: "What was the best part about your weekend?"

Are you a new member?
There's only one feeling worse that forgetting someone: devaluing someone. In your organization, club, business or association ? there are bound to be dozens, possibly even hundreds of members you've never met. That's okay. You can't keep a tab on everybody. People come in and out of organizations all the time, and not everyone comes to every meeting.

So don't assume that someone is a newbie simply because you don't know them. Even if you think "Oh, I know everybody," there are always people on the fringes. Perhaps they joined the organization five years ago. Maybe they've been out of town for a few months or their schedule conflicts with certain meetings or events.

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #5: "I don't believe we've met before ? my name's Scott."

Combating Conversational Crappiness
Some people don't think before they speak, and the price to pay is at the expense of their partner's conversational comfort. But if you avoid these five communication barriers, you will be certain to make the other person you're engaging with feel welcome and valued.

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

---

Networking for Wallflowers: How to Profit from Getting into the Crowd

The two most common complaints about networking are: 1) I... Read More

Networking: What the Heck is a Ryze?

If you're new to the internet marketing club, you may... Read More

Building Business Relationships in a Roomful of Strangers

You approach a stranger at an association meeting or industry... Read More

Time to Hire a Professional Networker?

It used to be that people said that there was... Read More

Lesson 61 - When Does Aggressiveness Turn Into Annoyance?

The StoryWhen attending conferences, conventions, or private events, it's guaranteed... Read More

10 Steps to Successful Networking

"It's not what you know, it's who you know."This old... Read More

Networking

Networking: Is it who you know or what you know... Read More

The 7 Habits of Highly Horrible Networkers

Networking is a term that didn't exist (academically) until almost... Read More

Sticky Situations: Nametag Best Practices

Because a person's name is the single context of human... Read More

Value-Added Network

A value-added network can be achieved through explicit actions to... Read More

Networking: Breaking into the Buzz

Breaking into conversational groups is one of the things people... Read More

Four Brainless Self-Promotion Techniques To Avoid

Many workers think that their hard work will speak for... Read More

Jump Start Your Network

Networking is often identified as a key business building activity... Read More

Creating Successful Alliances and Partnerships through Networking

Douglas Wilder, former Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia, and... Read More

You Can?t Spell Networking Without Serendipity

"Fear not to entertain strangers for by so doing some... Read More

62 Ways to MAXIMIZE Your Approachability

If you walk into your local bookstore and pick up... Read More

Business Networking - Common Myths and Realities

Can we agree about the meaning of networking? I don't... Read More

Plan for the Event or Flounder

Rather than being there to eat the food and drink... Read More

Are You Really Listening: The Importance of Strong Communication Skills

Let's face it, when most people think of IT professionals,... Read More

How to Announce a New Product

How can the introduction of new products affect the way... Read More

Networking Know How

Networking, even to a seasoned professional, can seem intimidating or... Read More

Measuring Value for a Networking Group

How do you measure a group's worth to your organization?It... Read More

Marketing Essentials: The 15 Second Elevator Speech

You're at a conference. Someone steps in the elevator, notices... Read More

Planting the Seeds of Greatness - Make it Great Newsletter #7

Thought of the WeekThis week, I'd like to challenge you... Read More

Mother Said - Wash Your Hands

Think health articles are boring? This one isn't, so read... Read More

Networking

Put join a networking group on your to do list... Read More

Joining Industry Specific Organizations Has Many Benefits

Recently, while providing an up-and-coming Virtual Assistant (VA) and small... Read More

Network Your Way to Success, and Remember: Its Not About You!

Quote of the week"The answer is always no...unless you ask."... Read More

How to Collect Business Cards

Why the business card grab is not why you are... Read More

Putting The Fun Back In Networking

Networking is one of the most important skills a person... Read More

How to be Known

Why business relationships are formed with certain people?If you go... Read More

How to Make the Most of Those First 30 Seconds

Did you just meet the most important person in your... Read More

Are You Sitting With The Right Company?

When I walked into Dallas's famous Y.O. Ranch Steakhouse, all... Read More