Success Sentences to Help Combat Conversational Crappiness

Essential to your success as an effective, engaging communicator is learning not only what to say, but what not to say. The following guide examines several sentences, phrases and questions that stand in your way of connecting and communicating with confidence.

Do you remember me?
If you walk up to someone and the first words out of your mouth are, "Do you remember me?" I guarantee you will a) make them feel uncomfortable, b) pressure them into giving an answer, and c) cause them to lose face when they regretfully tell you they can't seem to remember who you are.

Some people are good with names; others are good with faces; while others can't seem to recall a single person they've ever met in their lives. But no matter what type of memory a person has, "forgetting someone" is one of the most embarrassing feelings anyone can experience ? especially if they've met you several times before.

Therefore, if you know someone doesn't remember you, rescue them. Just tell them who you are. Odds are, deep down they'll be signing, "Oh thank God he told me his name ? I didn't want to ask!"

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #1: "Hi! I'm Scott with Front Porch Productions ? we met last month at the Chamber Meeting when Carol introduced us."

Here's my card...
The rule of business cards is: don't give it to anyone who doesn't ask for it. It's presumptuous. Sadly, the exchange of business cards is a ritual that our culture has de-formalized over the past 20 years. On the other hand, some high-context cultures like the Japanese view this as a sacred business ritual.

For conversational effectiveness, don't assume that somebody wants your card. Think about it: how many times has someone given you one of their cards ? without asking ? to which you thought to yourself, "Okay?and what do you want me to do with this?"

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #2: "May I give you one of my cards?"

So...what do YOU do?
According to CNN.com, the US rate of unemployment in September of 2004 was somewhere between five and six percent. Unfortunately, those are just the reported cases. So don't overlook the possibility that the person you're talking to is unemployed, was recently fired or is in the process of finding a new job.

Asking someone "So...what do YOU do?" is an assumption. And if you utter this phrase, it may necessitate a shoehorn the size of Shaquille O'Neal to get your foot out of your mouth. Instead, ask less specific, yet open ended questions that empower an engaging response.

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #3: "How do you spend most of your time during the week?"

Can you believe the weather?
I've read almost every book on starting conversations, mingling, breaking the ice, networking and meeting people ? and I have yet to find one that doesn't say:

"Talking about the weather is always a good way to start a conversation."

No it isn't. It's a terrible way. And just because everyone uses it doesn't make it effective. Starting a conversation about the weather means you've settled for starting a conversation about the weather! This makes your conversation partner feel like you've settled for them too. And every time you do it, you show the other person that you aren't a good enough conversationalist to talk about anything other than the weather.

But I have faith in you. You can do better than that.

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #4: "What was the best part about your weekend?"

Are you a new member?
There's only one feeling worse that forgetting someone: devaluing someone. In your organization, club, business or association ? there are bound to be dozens, possibly even hundreds of members you've never met. That's okay. You can't keep a tab on everybody. People come in and out of organizations all the time, and not everyone comes to every meeting.

So don't assume that someone is a newbie simply because you don't know them. Even if you think "Oh, I know everybody," there are always people on the fringes. Perhaps they joined the organization five years ago. Maybe they've been out of town for a few months or their schedule conflicts with certain meetings or events.

SUCCESS SENTENCE? #5: "I don't believe we've met before ? my name's Scott."

Combating Conversational Crappiness
Some people don't think before they speak, and the price to pay is at the expense of their partner's conversational comfort. But if you avoid these five communication barriers, you will be certain to make the other person you're engaging with feel welcome and valued.

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

---

Networking: What the Heck is a Ryze?

If you're new to the internet marketing club, you may... Read More

Four Brainless Self-Promotion Techniques To Avoid

Many workers think that their hard work will speak for... Read More

Make Money on the Internet - The Lifestyle Advantages of Professional Marketers

Some of the most successful businesses in existence today started... Read More

Write It Down!

Why would you want to write information on paper when... Read More

Discover Your Own Source Of Business Leads

Generating new business leads is critical in your success, no... Read More

Community Involvement Networking

It is important for you to join at least one... Read More

Plan for the Event or Flounder

Rather than being there to eat the food and drink... Read More

Giving Referrals to Get Referrals

One of the best ways to get a referral is... Read More

Five Best Ways To Build A Network

I have been working from home on the internet for... Read More

Sharpen Your Business Networking Skill To Grow Your Small Business

Most people become lax at maintaining their professional business network... Read More

Business Networking ? Extroverted Web Weaving for the Introvert

If you have been in business for any amount of... Read More

Sticky Situations: Nametag Best Practices

Because a person's name is the single context of human... Read More

Jump Start Your Network

Networking is often identified as a key business building activity... Read More

Mobile Car Wash Companies; Trading Tips

If you run a mobile car washing firm we recommend... Read More

Networking

Put join a networking group on your to do list... Read More

It Pays to be Friendly

Most small business people do not take advantage of human... Read More

5 Ways to Wow People Who Wear Nametags

People wear nametags more often than you think. The majority... Read More

Networking: Is Your Approach Too Self-Centered?

It's a classic mistake by networkers: their approach is focused... Read More

Franchisees Should Learn From Each Other

If you own a franchise you should be in contact... Read More

Planting the Seeds of Greatness - Make it Great Newsletter #7

Thought of the WeekThis week, I'd like to challenge you... Read More

Alliances: More Than A One Way Relationship

What is the biggest advantage of forming an alliance?Everyone has... Read More

Talk Isnt Cheap

The most successful organizations have good communication skills. Survey after... Read More

Networking in the Business world

Why is it so important to network with other people... Read More

The 4 Actions of Awesome Hospitality

These Actions of Awesome Hospitality? will help you manifest the... Read More

Acknowledging Referrals! What?s in It For You?

I grew up in a household where saying thank you... Read More

3 Reasons to Join a Group

Defining your purpose for joining a group.When you make the... Read More

How to Find Participants for a Trial Run

Why is a network meeting the best place to get... Read More

Test Your Networking Know-How

Let's test your knowledge on networking:1)The best definition of networking... Read More

Two-Step Your Communication

Ever use someone else to get your message out?For example,... Read More

Increase Your Sales by 30% Using Internet Collaboration Networks

Small businesses are really excluded from the global economySmall businesses... Read More

Why Cant I Remember Your Name?

You're terrible with names. You forget someone's name within ten... Read More

Examination of Discovery - Finding the Right Networking Group

Why would I pick this group over another group?How many... Read More

Good Manners Mean Good Business

Good manners, good networking and good business all have the... Read More