Unforgettable First Impressions Part 1: Discover the CPI

People like others whom they are like. So if you want to make a flawless first impression, it is your duty to discover what you have in common with every person you talk to.

The 6 Essential Elements for Flawless First Impressions are part of Scott Ginsberg's the UNFORGETTABLE! Audio System.

Let Me Ask Ya This
Several months ago my friend Mitch and I were introduced to a small group of people through which we had a mutual friend. I wanted to be sure our conversation was engaging, so I offered one of my favorite questions to ask new people:

"What's your favorite cereal?"

As usual, Mitch and I got a mild chuckle from the group, but eventually everyone contributed. We then talked for twenty minutes about cereal, in-box prizes and various childhood memories related to breakfast foods. What a great conversation!

At the end of the night, Mitch and I said goodbye to our new friends. On the way out, they actually thanked us for our interesting conversation about cereal!

Fast forward...

A few weeks later I ran into Anne, one of the girls from the table I met that night. She jumped out of her seat and gave me a hearty greeting!

"Hey nice to see you again Scott! My friends and I still talk about how enjoyable our cereal conversation was with you and Mitch. We'll never forget that!"

This reveals the first key to Locating the CPI: asking engaging, open ended questions. In other words, questions that don't elicit a yes or no answer or a monosyllabic conversation killer like "F.I.N.E" or "ehh."

When you meet someone for the first time, pose questions that begin with "What's your favorite??" "How long have you been??" and "How did you get started??" Questions like these build rapport, spark creativity and invite people to share experiences and preferences. What's more, they show interest in people's opinions and insights.

TIP #1: What people LIKE is just as important as what they ARE LIKE.

Blank Blank Blank
Another way to Locate the CPI is with compliments. If you want to be unforgettable in your first impressions, giving a compliment ? and doing so effectively ? is a fail safe method. Now, I'm not talking about cheap flattery. There is a right and wrong way to do this.

If someone came up to you and said, "Hey, uh?you're cute!" or "You smell good," would you feel flattered? Would you feel like they took an interest in you? Probably not. Stuff like this just shows that someone is looking for an easy out, or an easy in.

But there's a way to structure a compliment that's simple and effective. I like to call it "The Blank Blank Blank Theory." Compliments have to be specific or else they don't sound heartfelt. So, according to the formula, you say:

I (blank) your (blank) because (blank). For example: " I like that watch ? it's very classy. Where'd you get it?"

(Notice I added an open ended question at the end of the compliment.)

Specifically when you compliment things, asking people where they got something is a great way to get a story or some background information. How many times have you asked someone this question who answered with "When I was on vacation"? That always generates a synchronized, detailed conversation ? especially if you've been to some of the same places they have.

TIP #2: It's all about going from HOW are you to WHO are you.

The Sweetest Sound
The last tool that will help you Locate the CPI is an inquiry about a person's name. In addition to the importance of identifying, amplifying and remembering a person's name, asking about the name itself will make you UNFORGETTABLE every time.

Have you ever had a conversation that begun about someone's name, but continued about their name for a few minutes? It's great when this happens! And you can be certain the other person is enjoying the conversation because it's all about them. So the CPI is: them!

Once after giving a speech, a member of the audience approached me and introduced herself as Hannah. To find out if it was a palindrome, I asked her about the spelling. When she handed me her card, immediately her name struck a chord in me.

One of my favorite books as a child was called "Hannah Is a Palindrome." This book was about a young girl in third grade named Hannah. One day her classmates started to make fun of her because the teacher told the class that "Hannah was a palindrome."

"Ha ha! Hannah is a palindrome, Hannah is a palindrome! Nah, nah, n-na nya!"

But when the teacher explained to her students that "palindrome" meant a word that could be spelled forward and backwards, a long "ooooh" came over the students. After that, everyone loved Hannah and all the kids were envious of her special name.

This was the story I told to Hannah, the audience member. To my surprise, she'd read the book before! We talked all about nicknames, palindromes, children's books and more! Simply because the conversation revolved around one thing: her name.

TIP #3: Don't just use someone's name ? inquire about someone's name.

How Are You Similar?
An essential element for flawless first impressions is helping other person realize how similar they are to you. You accomplish this goal by locating the CPI (common point of interest). With the combination of open ended questions, compliments and conversations that focus on them as the topic of discussion, you will be certain to be UNFORGETTABLE!

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

---

How to Gain Maximum Value from Your Networking Time

One of the best ways to get business is through... Read More

Unforgettable First Impressions Part 3: Time is (Not) On Your Side

You only have three seconds?Connect in under a minute?People decide... Read More

Youve Got Personality, Use It!

For the self employed professional, nothing is more important than... Read More

How to Avoid Falling Asleep Behind the Conversational Wheel

Think about the last time you feel asleep behind the... Read More

The Quest for Passive Income

Passive Income, residuals, royalties three ways to get paid multiple... Read More

Networking: Is Your Approach Too Self-Centered?

It's a classic mistake by networkers: their approach is focused... Read More

Sell For Yourself Or Sell For Your Boss?

First of all I would like to start this article... Read More

Good Manners Mean Good Business

Good manners, good networking and good business all have the... Read More

Putting The Fun Back In Networking

Networking is one of the most important skills a person... Read More

Hey, Whos the New Guy? How to Make Guests and First Timers Feel Welcome

The New Guy is a person we all know. And... Read More

10 Terrific Tips to Talk Your Way to the Top

What is "the top" anyway? According to society, "top" has... Read More

Social Networking: A Link To Like Minds

Not all dot-com dreams died when the Internet stock bubble... Read More

Create a 10 Second Introduction From Your USP

You can generate a ton of business by networking, whether... Read More

Building Great Business Relationships

If you're in a business relationship with anyone ? a... Read More

How To Make Your Next Networking Event A Success

There are people who are natural born networkers - those... Read More

Networking to a New Life

Research shows that talking to strangers -- not people in... Read More

Land the Ideal Job Using Social Networks

With at least 60% of job-seekers finding employment through networking,... Read More

Networking: What the Heck is a Ryze?

If you're new to the internet marketing club, you may... Read More

Strategic Networking: Take the Shortest Path to Success

Do you use Ryze or LinkedIn to promote your web... Read More

The 7 Habits of Highly Horrible Networkers

Networking is a term that didn't exist (academically) until almost... Read More

Giving Referrals to Get Referrals

One of the best ways to get a referral is... Read More

Mary Kay Ash Did It Best... (The Networking Factor)

"The Networking Factor, Everyone is important!" This slogan reminds me... Read More

How to Create an Interest Story for the Press

What makes a good interest story?An interest story is just... Read More

Are You Leveraging Your Business Network?

Just yesterday I received an email from a colleague telling... Read More

62 Ways to MAXIMIZE Your Approachability

If you walk into your local bookstore and pick up... Read More

It Pays to be Friendly

Most small business people do not take advantage of human... Read More

Network Marketing Secret: On Becoming the ?GoTo? Guy

For years we've been taught to identify ourselves as reps... Read More

Five Best Ways To Build A Network

I have been working from home on the internet for... Read More

Politics, Religion, Race; Conversational No-No?s in Business

Do not destroy all your positive displacement and high energy... Read More

Communication Is A 2-Way Street (The Networking Factor)

The Personal Touch 1There is a simple art to networking... Read More

The Five Step Formula For Getting Prospects to Call You

Are you tired of prospecting for new business?Are you sick... Read More

The Promotion Factor: Seven Strategies to Promote Yourself and Your Business by Playing Golf

Effective business promotion is more powerful than advertising. Using golf... Read More

The Festive Season: Your Networking Opportunity

The festive season is a great time to sharpen and... Read More