Sigmund Freud says "a person's name is the single context of human memory most apt to be forgotten." Feelings of embarrassment and social ineptitude are conveyed through this forgetfulness, and unfortunately, the problem persists daily. The ability to remember names is an important skill that gives you an advantage in social and business settings. However, the way you associate and remember names is based on your learning style and personality type.
The following list of ten effective ways to remember names combines visual, aural and strategic techniques. Once you find the best fit for you, it will become easier to avoid muttering the most awkward and impersonal sentence in the English language: "Hey you!"
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
As soon as you hear their name, repeat it back to the person. "It's good to finally meet you, Karen-I hear you're the expert on mufflers."
If you don't do this, you will forget her name within ten seconds of meeting her. Also be sure to repeat the name aloud in the beginning, during and at the end of the conversation. This will allow you to widen various areas of your memory circuit.
"That's a great story Stephanie!" "Wow Tony, you obviously know your hockey." If you speak the name, hear the name, and listen to yourself say the name, you will remember it.
Inquiry
The number one rule in interpersonal communication is to show a genuine interest in the other person. So, ask your new colleague to explain the personal significance of their name. Ask if they go by a nickname. Inquire about the culture from which their name was derived. The spelling question is also effective. Even if Dave or Bob is only spelled one way you can always ask if they prefer "Dave," "David," "Bobby" or "Robert."
In so doing, you show them you care about them as a person. You also transform their name from an arbitrary fact into a meaningful representation of them. Ultimately, you will flatter them and make them feel appreciated.
Dramatize Faces
You probably remember faces better than you remember names. Great! This will only make it easier when you dramatize someone's face and associate facial feature with their name. For example, if their nose or hair is particularly memorable, make a connection using alliteration with their name. Brian has bright red hair. Lucy has a long nose.
The trick is to make your associations and dramatizations memorable and interesting. Remember, that which is exaggerated and ridiculous is memorable.
Forget About You
"Did I give him the 'cold fish' handshake?" "Did I even look into her eyes?" "Do you think she noticed the logo on my company briefcase?" If you try too hard to make a good first impression, odds are you will have no idea to whom you make a good first impression to!
So don't think about yourself! Forget about you! Concentrate on them. When you become too self-conscious and nervous during the moment of introduction, it will interfere with your memory.
Write Them Down
If you are a visual learner, write down the name of the person. This is a flawless method to remember. Most networking functions and meetings take place where tables, pens and paper are available.
Throughout the conversation, look down at the name in front of you, and then look at the person. Maria. Then look at the name again. Maria. Then look at the person again. Maria. You'll never forget.
The additional benefit when you do this, unbeknownst to you, is that at least one other person in your group will see you write the name down. Talk about a good first impression!
Inner Monologue
Imagine you've already used Samantha's name during the conversation. You seem to have it committed to memory. Then again, you don't want to overuse her name aurally. Even if a person's name is the sweetest sound they will ever hear, you don't want to make it too obvious that you use the repetition trick.
Fortunately, there are countless opportunities during the conversation to quickly say the name to yourself while you look at their face: while they get a pen, while they take a drink, while they get something out of their desk, while they laugh at your hilarious joke.
It only takes a few seconds to look at someone and silently think to yourself, "Samantha. Samantha. Samantha." Don't worry; you won't miss anything if you choose to do this at the appropriate times.
Introduce Someone Else
"Have you met my coworker Patty?" you ask the nameless person. "I don't believe I have," he says, "My name is Roger. It's nice to meet you Patty." Roger. That's his name! You thought it was Antonio! Thank God you introduced him to someone else or you would be floating up the eponymous creek.
Furthermore, if you introduce someone you just met to another person, it allows you to: take control of the conversation, show your willingness to encourage connections and expand someone else's network of colleagues.
Listen and Look for Name Freebies
More often than not, you won't be the only person who knows the name of your new colleague. This means that other people will say their name, and you will be reminded. No charge. All you have to do is pay attention.
Also remember to keep your eyes open for subtle, visual reminders such as business cards, receipts, nametags, jewelry, table tents and personal papers. Without getting too nosey, it will be easy to identify these "name freebies" that paint you out of your memory corners.
These ten effective techniques to remember names will be helpful to cross the chasm between you and a potential colleague or associate. When you identify and amplify someone's name, you won't suffer a loss of face. Ultimately, your interactions and conversations will become more personal and comfortable.
Practice. Practice. Practice. That's the hard part. But over time you will learn how these different techniques for name memory will work best for you.
Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. That's the easy part. However, while practice enhances your name memory over time, it only takes a few seconds to decide to change your attitude. Don't yourself that you can't remember names. In fact, from this moment on, you are no longer bad with names. Combine this new attitude with your recently acquired skills, and you'll never have to say "Hey you!" again.
© 2005 All Rights Reserved.
Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.
When is it appropriate to volunteer to take a position... Read More
The festive season is a great time to sharpen and... Read More
The most successful organizations have good communication skills. Survey after... Read More
People like others whom they are like. So if you... Read More
Imagine you just met your ideal client at a networking... Read More
Generating new business leads is critical in your success, no... Read More
Networking, even to a seasoned professional, can seem intimidating or... Read More
Nametags are worn for a variety of jobs and functions,... Read More
Because a person's name is the single context of human... Read More
Think about the last time you feel asleep behind the... Read More
Networking requires an investment of time, money and effort. Here... Read More
It is important for you to join at least one... Read More
You're at a conference. Someone steps in the elevator, notices... Read More
Quote of the week"The answer is always no...unless you ask."... Read More
One out of every ten Americans has a fear of... Read More
First of all I would like to start this article... Read More
Just yesterday I received an email from a colleague telling... Read More
One of the most cost effective ways of generating leads... Read More
With at least 60% of job-seekers finding employment through networking,... Read More
If you walk into your local bookstore and pick up... Read More
I grew up in a household where saying thank you... Read More
How's your relationship?I'm not prying into your personal life, so... Read More
Let's test your knowledge on networking:1)The best definition of networking... Read More
Networking is a great way to meet people in a... Read More
How can the introduction of new products affect the way... Read More
Let's be real. With other pressures of life upon us,... Read More
The New Guy is a person we all know. And... Read More
What's a gift mean? If you're like me, you probably... Read More
The heart of any business is the connection it has... Read More
If you own a franchise you should be in contact... Read More
You already know that uncomfortable feeling, that knot in your... Read More
Ever wonder if networking, referral groups, and conferences are a... Read More
Networking is a term that didn't exist (academically) until almost... Read More
Research shows that talking to strangers -- not people in... Read More
As a small business owner you may find yourself in... Read More
In recent weeks, I've had the opportunity to pass along... Read More
Your nonverbal communication talks before you do. Only seven percent... Read More
For the self employed professional, nothing is more important than... Read More
Definition: talk idly or casually in a friendly way Value:... Read More
Are you tired of prospecting for new business?Are you sick... Read More
How's your relationship?I'm not prying into your personal life, so... Read More
The StoryWhen attending conferences, conventions, or private events, it's guaranteed... Read More
You can find numerous references in the business literature about... Read More
What has networking got to do with joint ventures? "PLENTY"... Read More
The New Guy is a person we all know. And... Read More
People wear nametags more often than you think. The majority... Read More
As a single company, it is impossible to provide your... Read More
Before we talk about specific networking tips I want to... Read More
The process of finding out about a job, getting interviewed,... Read More
Quote of the week"The answer is always no...unless you ask."... Read More
A few years ago, I was attending a family function... Read More
Why is it so important to network with other people... Read More
"Hey Scott, would you like to go to a Bad... Read More
When is it appropriate to volunteer to take a position... Read More
Most people become lax at maintaining their professional business network... Read More
Generating new business leads is critical in your success, no... Read More
The StoryIn a quest to create strategic alliances, coalitions, and... Read More
"Fear not to entertain strangers for by so doing some... Read More
Jean de la Bruyere said, "The great gift of conversation... Read More
Do you enjoy one-on-one networking, however, the thought of walking... Read More
Networking is a term that didn't exist (academically) until almost... Read More
Why business relationships are formed with certain people?If you go... Read More
Just yesterday I received an email from a colleague telling... Read More
You can generate a ton of business by networking, whether... Read More
Networking is probably the oldest, easiest, most effective and least... Read More
Why ask others for help and what do you gain... Read More
Networking |