Change 101: How to Get the Changes You Desire

Here's a bold statement:

Change can be simple and easy.

It really does not have to be so hard, although sometimes we make it much harder than it needs to be. And there's really no magic involved. Although I do like this quote from science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke: Any sufficiently developed technology is indistinguishable from magic.

What I have found is that what most people need is simply someone to coach them on how to get the changes they want. Whether it's in writing, speaking or in private consultations, I really just see myself as a "change coach", helping people to quickly and effectively get the changes they want in their lives and to make the changes last.

With that in mind, what I'll offer you today is a simple and effective strategy for getting the changes you want. I'll leave it to you to apply the details from your own situation.

The change strategy is called "The 3 D's of Change", which stand for Decide, Do, and Distinguish. Let's take a closer look at each of these three.

Decide

Many people talk about wanting to change, but they have never really decided to change. One of the key ways to make change easier is to make the decision that no matter what, from this day forward, things will be different.

The root word for the word decision is incision, so the word decision means to cut off any other possibility than achieving the change you desire. Once you have really decided to change, the rest is really just the details of how you are going to get from where you are to where you want to be.

So before you embark on your journey of change, make sure that you have genuinely and strongly decided that you will change. It's kind of like the old joke, "How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has got to really want to change."

Do

After you have decided to change, the next step is to do all the necessary things to get the changes you want. You can't do some, you can't do most, you must do ALL the necessary things to get the changes you want.

The really good news here is that you do not have to stumble around, blindly doing things to change, not knowing if they will help or not. Through a process called modeling, we do not have to re-invent the wheel. The process of modeling involves finding someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, finding out how they do it, and then adapting it to your own situation. Successful change always leaves a trail. All we have to do is follow it, adapt it and make it our own.

Whatever the key factors involved, the next step is to follow the acronym CMICA (pronounced ka-mee-ka). To get the changes you want, you must take Consistent-Massive-Intelligent-Creative Action. When you follow this plan, you build so much momentum that change is inevitable.

Distinguish

Another nice thing about the 3 D's of Change is that you now get to distinguish between what is working and what is not. Are you getting the results you want? If you are, keep doing what you are doing, it's obviously working.

If you are not getting the results you want, here's the next two things to do:

Go back and ask yourself if you have really decided to change.

Then go back and see it you have actually done all the necessary things to change. Did you leave anything out? Did you do anything only halfway?

If you've decided to change and are doing all the necessary things to change and are still not getting the results you want, it's time to change your strategy. If it's not working, it's not working, and it's time to find something that does. Perhaps you are modeling the wrong people or have chosen the wrong strategies. Find someone else to model and/or choose different strategies until you are getting the results you want.

Decide, Do and Distinguish. Apply these 3 D's of Change to your life and watch the changes start to flow.

And then, keep the change!

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Tips for Mastering Visualization Techniques

Visualization is creating a mental picture of something. Visualization is... Read More

The Downward Spirals Of Life - Top Ten Steps For Freeing Ourselves From

Some people call them vicious circles or cycles. I prefer... Read More

The Dawn On The Nile Valley Has Secrets To Tell! (3)

Me and Mao Tse-Tung!My first political experience was with Mao... Read More

Celebrating the Couch Potato

Ah, the couch potato, that icon of American pop culture... Read More

After the Storm......

Have you ever wondered why is it that after we... Read More

Desire + Action = Outcome ? Anxiety & Panic

This is my mathematical strategy I use to achieve everything... Read More

Darkness of Winter Encourages Insights

The darkness of Winter has descended.For many the long stormy... Read More

Be Action-Oriented

Are you a melancholic online business owner by nature? I... Read More

Sow the Seed - See the Harvest

The story is told of two boys who were walking... Read More

Mid-Year Success Check: Are You Halfway There?

In a couple weeks, we'll be heading into the second... Read More

How To Overcome Procrastination Quickly And Easily

Maybe it is time to discover a new way to... Read More

Creativity Management ? Productivity As A Job

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Motivation: Tearing Down Your Own Limitations

Q.: I've always been sort of cynical about all this... Read More

Stop Holding Yourself Back

Try this exercise. Take a sheet of paper and list... Read More

Do You Have Staying Power?

"If you are going through hell , keep on going"... Read More

Achieving Your Dreams

Have you achieved your dreams? Dreams are an important part... Read More

What You Can Do About Procrastination

Goals stalled? Always running behind? Stuck in a rut?Procrastination means... Read More

Harnessing the Power of the Unknown: Move from Repeating the Past to Re-inventing the Future

The Unknown - it is scary territory for many, something... Read More

Elements of Change

The key to achieving more than you currently are, no... Read More

Resistance Is Natural - but Not Helpful - in Times of Change

Here are five feelings we all experience in changing times.... Read More

Motivation: The Power of Opportunity

I think each one of us has had the experience... Read More

Ten Terrific Self Motivating Tips

No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a... Read More

Overcoming Procrastination

What are the reasons that YOU procrastinate?Are you a perfectionist?Do... Read More

You Want Me to Do What?

Most of the time whenever we need to make an... Read More

Turn your Dreaming into Doing

The first of January and September, as well as our... Read More

Why You Should Write Your Obituary Today

Writing your own obituary sounds and feels a little strange,... Read More

Being Genuinely Curious

Yesterday at the dinner table, my eleven-year-old daughter asked me,... Read More

Are You Still Stuck on Still?

Are you still "stuck on still?" If so, don't let... Read More

Live On Fire

Words seem inadequate to describe the beauty and abundance that... Read More

Keeping Perspective: When Bad Things Happen That Are Not Life Threatening

The very first thing to question is how important is... Read More

Motivation By Daily Applause

One of our most powerful psychological needs is the craving... Read More

Is Work Still Necessary?

I have a confession to make - several confessions in... Read More

Being Determined - What Good Will That Do?

'Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability... Read More