How to Exude More Confidence

Confidence: The word conjures up images of self-assurance and belief in ones' self. Self-confidence is inward security. It basically means that your source of security comes from within yourself, you're confident in your integrity to your own value system. It is not congruent with doubt or fear.

I think that Franklin D. Roosevelt hit the nail on the head when he said, "Confidence thrives only on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them, it cannot live."

Confidence is not to be found outside of one's self, it is not an inherent part of your personality when you are born, but rather is something that can be learned, honed and integrated into your daily behavior. We build or lose self-confidence by choice. It is something that can be destroyed by a parent, teacher, sibling or colleague by a thoughtless offhand remark that is taken to heart and integrated into the psyche of the receiver. Often the event passes quickly and neither the giver nor the receiver is even aware of what has happened. This occurs whether it is used to build one up or break one down.

Luckily, if you have low self-esteem or a lack of confidence you can find the direction to build up these skills through a motivation to do so. Sound simple? Well it is. You see, since confidence comes from the inside out, you can begin by acting as if you are self-confident. Begin with something small, pretend that you are confident and just do whatever it is that you lack confidence in.

The first time I had to speak before an audience, I was terrified. So I did my research, prepared my speech, practiced and (yep, I was still scared stiff). But, because I knew the material I only had to overcome the fear of getting up in front of the audience. Well, after I was introduced, I had no other option but to go through with it. So, I stepped up to the podium and acted as if I was a great speaker and when I completed my speech, someone said "wow you're such a confident speaker" and I realized that the audience couldn't tell that I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time. I decided to use the "act as if" strategy whenever I needed to feel confident and as time passed, I found my confidence grew.

Remind yourself of what Joe Palermo said, "If you're knocked down, you can't lose your guts. You need to act with supreme confidence or else you'll lose again, and then losing becomes a habit." It doesn't matter what your circumstances are, what's important is that you are in control of how you respond and react to each situation you are faced with.

In my book, "Self-Creation: 10 Powerful Principles for Changing Your Life," I recommend using the 4-step coping mechanism to build confidence. Whatever you are facing, begin by contemplating and analyzing the situation. Next, incubate it, step back and reflect, but don't make a decision yet. Then actuate, consider ways to restructure the situation, hold it up to the light and look for the opportunity in it. Finally, integrate; incorporate the new behavior in your daily actions and you will build your confidence.

As Marie Curie said, "Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this something, at whatever cost, must be attained."

Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."

So, believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.

Yvonne F. Brown is an internationally recognized trainer, speaker, author, personal motivation, inspiration, and empowerment expert. Author of "Self Creation: 10 Powerful Principles for Changing Your Life" Yvonne helps people to eliminate self-sabotage, stop self-limiting beliefs and reach their highest potential. She teaches how to accelerate personal performance and career fulfillment for workgroups and individuals everywhere. Her new book "Ethics, Choice and Leadership" will be available later this year. To learn more visit her website JAD Communications International. and subscribe to the Pathways to Abounding Inspirations newsletter.

---

Self-care Isnt Being Selfish

When was the last time you truly relaxed? Do you... Read More

Time Management - Finding Some Personal Time

Personal time or relax time is often why people want... Read More

The Time To Start Working On Your Dream is Now - Not Later

Most of us are hesitant to start anything because we... Read More

Life Rewards Action

Thinking is good, yes it is. I strongly encourage thinking.... Read More

Being Determined - What Good Will That Do?

'Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability... Read More

Back to Boot Camp

You know, whenever you are going to make a major... Read More

Ignite The Fire In Your Belly ? How To Move From Being A Procrastinator To An Activator!

Are you sick and tired of not getting ahead and... Read More

Success: 10 Easy Success Tips To Help You Achieve Your Ambitions In Life

I want to wish you good health, long life, success... Read More

Instant Willpower

We've all heard people say "I have a system". Ever... Read More

Creativity and Innovation Management ? the Value of Challenge

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Hold That Elevator!

As Prince, or whatever his name is now put it... Read More

The Day Your Life Will Change for Good!

Many people long for a better life. In fact, I... Read More

Seven Aspects of Making Brilliant Decisions: The Relationship Between Work and Self

Workweek: an opportunity for discovering and shaping; the place where... Read More

Do I have What It takes?

What am I made of? Do I have what it... Read More

This Just Ain?t Good!

"Nope, this just ain't good!" How many times in our... Read More

Dont Be Afraid To Build The Dream

Don't be afraid to build the dream - Attempting to... Read More

What If I Fall Flat On My Face?

I hope you do. Sounds awful, I know. But I... Read More

Motivation By Comparison

Motivation by comparison is a dynamic form of motivation which... Read More

Its Not Enough

Whatever you are doing in your life at the present... Read More

Motivation: 7 More Musings on Motivation

1. "If you have faith the size of a mustard... Read More

The Time to Act

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability... Read More

The Top 10 Ways to Overcome Procrastination

When a person is bored or uninterested, certain tasks and... Read More

Maintaining Your Motivation

I recently spoke to a group of sales professionals at... Read More

Moving Past Your Comfort Zone

We all gravitate toward what we feel most comfortable doing.... Read More

Stop Procrastination--Just Do It!

In this article I'll talk about the reason that stops... Read More

Action Rules - Just Get Started!

'Action Rules!' in the Getting Goals Game. It is the... Read More

Walk In The Light

It was a mild October night, weeks after the horrific... Read More

Top 5 Reasons Why Youre Not Living Your Dream

1. "I'm too old to make a change." Maybe you're... Read More

Remember, Worse Things Can Happen At Sea, So..... Dont Ever Quit!

Throughout the many pages of scores of motivational books, with... Read More

Procrastination Emancipation

It's early January as I sit down to research and... Read More

Map to a Gold Mine - Could You, Would You?

If a total stranger came up to you and said:... Read More

How to Take Your Stalled Projects to the Finish Line

Q. I have several projects going at once -- but... Read More

After the Big Project: Recovering From Success

My older daughter got married 10 days ago. The wedding... Read More