Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage

Hearing that your cheating spouse is "in love" with someone else is devastating. I hear often, "I can handle her having sex with someone else. I think I can live with that. But, for her to give herself emotionally and "love" someone else?man, that is hard." (Feel free to substitute the word he for she in this article.)

What can you specifically do to increase the odds of saving the marriage?

So often the offended spouse reacts with intense feelings and pulls out all stops to "win her back."

He applies pressure. Begs. Cajoles. Makes promises. Gets in her face. Sends flowers. Arranges for dates. Talks to her family and friends. Calls her on the phone. Asks questions? daily, sometimes hourly. He is on her like a fly on doo-doo.

It doesn't work.Why? Well, for one reason she has found all the stimulation and excitement she supposedly needs in her new found "love."

At a deeper level this is confusing enough for the cheating husband or cheating wife. Any additional input will be overwhelming and she is liable to close the door on the marriage even further. Plus, she is really looking for some stability, some solid centered core that will hold her firm when the wind of drama entices her and blows around her.

If you bombard her with your neediness, you are certainly not the person who can help her in ways she really seeks.

She also is liable to create a polarity and begin comparing you to him. With your neediness dripping all over you, you don't stand a very good chance of coming out on top. Sorry!

Here's a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and gives you a greater chance of saving the marriage.It's called "back off!"

Stop pressing. Slow down the pace. Be silent ? most of the time. Stop making requests. Stop asking questions. Stop trying to wiggle out some assurance. Stop being a pain!

Remember, this "in love" state will fade. You need to have the confidence that it will. You need patience. The relationship will run its course.

She needs the space. She needs some quiet moments to truly hear herself and face the emptiness within. There will be a voice within her that says, "This will not last. Is this what I really want? At some time I must live in the real world. Where is this taking me? Is this where I really want to go? Why am I so dependent on him? Why do I feel this empty pit in my stomach when I'm not with him? What does this say about me?"

This is her opportunity to learn about TRUE love. Don't get in her way.

I know. I know. This is easier said than done. But, you must do it. It is vitally important that you learn to quiet yourself, control yourself and keep on the straight and narrow path.

At this point with those I coach, I teach them a skill called "charging neutral" to help "back off." Use that skill.This will take some effort. It might take some coaching or therapy. It most likely will demand that you get to know yourself better, that you gain more confidence in you ? apart from what she does with him ? that you build a strong foundation under yourself that can weather any storm.

This is your opportunity to grow to another level.

Oh, by the way. She will notice! And?.she might like it.

Backing off does not mean that you don't have anything to do with her. Quite the contrary. You want to maintain your contact with her, but it will be QUALITY contact. It will be contact that does honor to you, confronts her with the reality of her decisions and works toward resolution for the marriage.

Summary: Less often means more when facing emotional infidelity. Learning a specific skill such as "backing off" enhances one's chance to save the marriage.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-af fair.com

---

Create A Beautifull Wedding Album With A Simple And Fun Way

Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar... Read More

Celtic Wedding Rituals -- Tying the knot

One of the most elegant rituals you can choose for... Read More

Wedding Photography: Preserving the Memories

A person's wedding can be one of the most important... Read More

Destination Weddings in Oregon

Oregon is one of the most marvelous places in the... Read More

Send Flowers and Liberate Your Bridal Party From the Shackles Of Monogram Hell

With so many ways to ask your closest friends and... Read More

The Brides Greatest Ally

On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator... Read More

Choosing a Wedding Date ?- When You?re Feeling Indecisive

He ? or she ? asked, and you answered in... Read More

Why Hire A Wedding Designer?

As couples begin thinking about their wedding, they are often... Read More

Wedding Favor Creator

Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More

Get Wedding Gifts Youll Enjoy -- Creating Your Wedding Registry

Receiving wedding gifts is a whole lot more fun when... Read More

Your Wedding Countdown

This is intended as a guide to help you plan... Read More

How To Hire A DJ For Your Wedding

Hiring music entertainment can arguably be the most important booking... Read More

Marriage Counseling: What to Do When a Spouse Flirts Too Much

When Alicia first met Tim, she found him outgoing, charming,... Read More

How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style

Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round... Read More

Faulty Expectations: 4 Essential Don?ts

The more realistic you are as you prepare for marriage,... Read More

Italian Honeymoon Vacations

Going to Italy on a honeymoon vacation could be the... Read More

Hot Wedding Trend: Platinum Wedding Rings

In our hungry-for-anything new pop culture world, celebrities are often... Read More

Family Law

A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More

Personalized Wedding Favors

Personalized wedding favors are among the most popular of gift... Read More

Choosing a Maui Wedding Package

Just like anywhere else in America, there are a variety... Read More

How to Choose Your Wedding Shoes

Wedding day is known as the most unforgettable day in... Read More

Whats in a Greek Wedding?

The wedding service in the Greek Orthodox faith is an... Read More

Wedding Invitation Labels and Envelopes

Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the... Read More

What Can You Do To Make Your Reception a Success?

This is something that we've started to send to all... Read More

How to Recognize and Cope with an Emotional Affair

Did you know that an emotional affair can be just... Read More

Wedding Planning: Benefits of Online Wedding RSVPs

Want to manage your wedding guests with style and ease?... Read More

Man Made Diamonds, The Affordable Alternative

Diamonds may be a woman's best friend, but modern man... Read More

Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do

Let's face it, not many of us have the kind... Read More

Wedding Flowers ? What Every Bride Should Know before Her Big Day

Whether your wedding will be coming up roses, daffodils, or... Read More

The Perfect Wedding Budget

Creating a wedding budget is one of the first things... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 8

To paraphrase a song, "Are you doing it more, but... Read More

Indian Astrology and Marriages

Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences,... Read More

Moissanite Engagement Rings ? Find The Perfect Glam You?re Looking For

Wish to make that one day in your life really... Read More