1) Write a mission statement:
Most brides spend more time planning for their wedding day than for the marriage itself and are unprepared for what happens after the "I do." More than half of newlyweds will struggle to maintain a fraction of the friendship they now enjoy with their spouse. Lack of a realistic vision of how married life will be or a plan to help this vision manifest is the first mistake many new brides make. If you and your mate have been functioning without written objectives, you must come together and create a concise set of goals for your family unit and institute a plan of action to achieve these goals. An individual goal should never undermine or take precedence over a mutual goal. You must train yourself to think, work and play as a team. Selfish behavior is like poison to any marriage and helps to guarantee a quick demise.
2) Don't withhold sex from your mate:
Married men resent when women use sex as a bargaining chip and make them feel that lovemaking is something they have to earn. Over a long period of time, this type of manipulation can prove disastrous. When you enter into matrimony you are agreeing to be solely responsible for fulfilling your husband's sexual needs, unless you are a swinger. Men have no problem separating their emotions from their physical desires, which is why they still expect hot sex after a heated argument.
3) Don't compete with the people/things that he loves:
So ? you've always hated his pesky childhood friend who is constantly around or his love affair with Play Station 2, but you're holding your peace until after the big day. Huge mistake! Never wait until after the wedding to start a turf war with the things or people your husband loves. Instead, you should be making plans on how you can incorporate them into your life in a way that both you and your husband can appreciate. Perhaps his pesky best friend is talented with wood work and can help you restore a family heirloom, or maybe you can convert the bedroom into a scene from a Play Station 2, complete with interesting bonus points. Whatever you decide, remember that your husband is a grown man and not a child; you cannot choose his friends or predilections. As problems arise in your marriage, search for solutions that bring you closer together and not drive you apart.
4) Plan ahead:
Small things make a big difference and will help to determine if your husband enjoys the prospect of getting out of bed and starting another day with you. What is the atmosphere in your home in the morning? Is there peace or is there confusion? Does your day begin with disorganization or is your home running like a well-constructed device.
Unnecessary drama can be avoided with organization. As your marriage evolves and expands to include children or aging parents, good organizational skills will be paramount to your relationships success. Careful thought should go into the daily atmosphere within your home. It is a refuge and sanctuary for your man or a place from which to retreat?
5) Find an experienced mentor and confidant:
The intimate details of your relationship with your spouse should only be shared with a trusted few. The women you meet in church are no exception to this rule. Anyone can be tempted when given enough information and ammunition. And many husbands have been led astray inside the house of the Lord. Find an older more experienced couple to mentor you and your mate. Plan a monthly activity with your mentors when possible. Don't discuss your man or marriage with your girlfriends who do not like your spouse or with your girlfriends who are angry with men in general. This almost guarantees that you will receive tainted advice. Seek out positive supporters who can encourage you. Remember that an ally builds and an adversary destroys.
6) Leave the past behind:
Everyone brings a little baggage from their past relationships, but this needs to be kept to a minimum. Think travel bag and not suitcase. The past should be used only as a guide to reflect on the victories you've one, the obstacles you've overcome and the lessons you've learned amidst your failures. Do not wallow in the past or on past offences. Do not spend time obsessing on past relationships, or worse, obsessing on the past relationships of your spouse. After all, he chose you.
7) Never fake an orgasm:
Why do this? Really? I'm intrigued about the type of woman who pretends her husband is getting her off when he is not. I think faking an orgasm is a cop out for those who lack the communications skills or experience necessary to convey what they really want. This is a deceitful practice and it ensures that your husband will remain at a disadvantage through the duration of your marriage. It can also cause you to have a wandering eye. If your mate does not sexually fulfill you, as you would like, find a constructive way to tell him. You should be able to convey exactly where the problem lies and how the problem can be corrected. Many women do not realize that they are putting their mates at a disadvantage if they are relying solely on his previous experience. Take time to explore your own body and be able to communicate what you have learned. If you don't know what you want, why should he?
8) Be quick to offer forgiveness:
An unforgiving spirit will devastate any relationship. Mercy is not based on merit but on the condition of your heart. You either choose to extend it or you don't. Once you have offered forgiveness to your mate, never bring up his past offences in a future argument. Old wounds continually reopened can't heal.
Sought-after relationship coach and motivational speaker Xxavier T. is the author of Treat Your Man Like A V.I.P.: Topless Tactics You Were Never Taught. Xxavier holds a degree in psychology from Southern University at New Orleans, but maintains that the majority of her expertise is based on the first principal of discovery ?observation. Xxavier writes a romance column for Offline Magazine that can also be accessed via the internet at http://neworleansblack.com/romance/index.php or browse Xxavier's book at http://centurionhouse.net/browse_book.htm
When one thinks of a promise ring it is common... Read More
Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The... Read More
Couples experiencing their first Costa Rica honeymoon vacations are never... Read More
So you've been in that perfect relationship for some time... Read More
"Extreme age differences between husband and wife may lead to... Read More
That first wedding was a dream, a gorgeous long white... Read More
My daughter and fiancé have finally set the "big day"... Read More
Have you ever been lost?My favorite line about being lost... Read More
Every bride wants to look perfect on her wedding day.... Read More
Apparently for a person to get married is like burning... Read More
Make your upcoming event the most memorable ever by adding... Read More
The relationship expert on i.village.com, I am the author of... Read More
While signing a prenuptial agreement can be one of the... Read More
Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she... Read More
You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local... Read More
Wedding dresses are literally the icing on the cake on... Read More
While you may be headed to Las Vegas for a... Read More
Rounding up the guys to devour some barbecued red meat... Read More
Marriage has to be the greatest opportunity for mindfulness on... Read More
As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked... Read More
One of my favorite parts about the wedding, is the... Read More
Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than... Read More
For a bride, shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be one... Read More
For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion,... Read More
Every bride wants a fairytale wedding. Therefore, this article is... Read More
Your wedding rings were meant to last a lifetime. They... Read More
Every woman dreams of her own wedding. May it be... Read More
Are you in the process of planning that last special... Read More
Celebrating under the attentive care of Bahamas honeymoon resorts, there... Read More
"Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world.... Read More
Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life.... Read More
These days, many people take wedding bands and engagement rings... Read More
Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences,... Read More
Thousands of years ago, the Celts, a group of independent... Read More
Oregon is one of the most marvelous places in the... Read More
Monograms are a huge trend in weddings, to the point... Read More
The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin... Read More
So you're planning your wedding and a thousand decisions must... Read More
Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can... Read More
Details, details, details. Paying attention to details, that's what makes... Read More
These guidelines will help you avoid the three most common... Read More
If there are wedding bells in your future, then surely... Read More
No one has as much fun as the bride to... Read More
Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with... Read More
White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it... Read More
Just because you don't have a lot of money doesn't... Read More
An outdoor wedding reception can be host to an almost... Read More
So you're toying with the idea of getting married? Maybe... Read More
Your physiological and psychological expressions of sexual behavior during the... Read More
You have made the decision to contact a marriage counselor.... Read More
When you think about couples who renew their wedding vows,... Read More
The most important part of planning a wedding is setting... Read More
Hawaii honeymoon vacations could take you to a miracle trip... Read More
Preparing for a wedding, large or small, is overwhelming! A... Read More
"Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world.... Read More
You may not think of Las Vegas as an area... Read More
Planning a wedding is an exciting thing, and can be... Read More
When it comes to response/RSVP cards, the goal is to... Read More
Let's face it, not many of us have the kind... Read More
Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar... Read More
Getting hitched, taking the plunge, tying the knot, jumping the... Read More
Congratulations! You have found the man of your dreams and... Read More
The elegant beauty of a strand of pearls... Read More
As we hear the music begin to play the Bridal... Read More
The look of the wedding invitations you send will not... Read More
Brides are looking for different ways to make their wedding... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |