5 Tips To Keep Marital Bliss Alive After You Retire!

Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition for spouses. Ample free time and drastic lifestyle changes can be a burden or a blessing for your marriage. Regardless of whether one or both spouses retire, the secret to a smooth transition is planning before you retire. For example, if one or both of you have been task-driven individuals with their own careers, a 7/24 marriage may not be to your liking. Retiring couples who have lived independent and relatively separate lives may become frustrated and bored being joined at the hip. Others may rejoice in spending more time with each other. The most important step to take prior to retiring is:

1. PLAN AHEAD. Know your personality and design your golden years accordingly. If you are a busy bee needing outside stimulation, plan ahead how you will keep yourself occupied. Get a part-time job, volunteer, write a book, get a pup, complete home renovations, play golf, join an organization or take up a hobby. Know what you will do with your excess time before you get on each other's nerves.

While retirement is a natural process of live, most retirees experience the same effects as with the loss of a job. No longer needed at work coupled with reduced social contacts many retirees question their identities. Feelings of worthlessness or even depression are common and can harm the quality of your relationship. You owe it to yourself and your spouse to:

2. LIVE WITH A PURPOSE. Shift the focus from yourself to others. Contribute your knowledge and life experience to organizations. Get involved with youth groups helping young people flourish. Socializing with your children and grandchildren will keep you young and alert. Read, cruise the Internet, exercise, learn a new language or skill. Do anything that keeps your brain working and your heart filled with passion.

If only one spouse is retiring, conflict over who does what and how time will be spent, may arise. The at-home spouse may be expected to do more chores including those they never did before. Arguments over time allotted for chores or play may develop. To avoid conflict:

3. EXERCISE MUTUAL RESPECT. As the still-working spouse, don't penalize your retired partner for having reached the golden years. Respect that your spouse deserves the freedom, time, enjoyment, respect and dignity of retirement. While he or she can be expected to pitch-in more, respect that your spouse needs the freedom to find his or her purposeful life as a retiree. Again, talk about and plan ahead how time will be spent prior to retirement, it will save you many arguments.

Staying busy has proven to be beneficial for all retirees. How to keep busy may vary from one person to the next. Because of diverse expectations it is often difficult to find the right blend of shared hobbies and time alone. Some couples are thrilled to do everything together, while others need and enjoy some time on their own. Allow each other to:

4. BE HAPPY. Retirement should be a happy time. It is about doing the things you couldn't before. This could be anything from sleeping in to travelling to unknown places. Anything from learning about astrology to helping provide clean water in an undeveloped country. Whenever possible you should support your spouse to live a happy retirement in alignment with his or her personality. Always remember, your partner is just as important as you are.

Many retirees use this time to strengthen their marriage. Previous work distractions and time commitments often lead to stale marriages. Now is the time to create intimacy and secure marital bliss in your sunset years. Get busy and:

5. KEEP THE LOVE GOING. Love is not something that you have, it is something that you do. Now that you have more time, be romantic. Plan for romantic dinners, movies, vacations or picnics. Compliment each other, cherish each other and surprise each other with romantic treats. Take time to talk to each other, communicate your feelings, your fears and your passions. Make love whenever possible, it is a sure way to create intimacy. Remember love has no expiry date and a loving relationship is your ticket to glorious golden years.

© 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of "Are You Fit To Love?" ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at http://www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

---

Searching For A Discount Mother Of The Bride Dress

You can look fabulous at your daughter's wedding in a... Read More

Ten Ways to Have an Irish Wedding

Honor your Emerald Isle heritage with traditions that are romantic,... Read More

Why You Should Buy that Wedding Gift from the Gift Registry - OR, the Wedding Gifts from Hell!

When you come to choose a wedding gift it's no... Read More

Indian Astrology and Marriages

Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences,... Read More

Wedding Flowers

The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin... Read More

Wedding Music

What should you "walk down the aisle" to? Should you... Read More

Requesting the Presence of Your Presents

For better or worse, in people's minds weddings and wedding... Read More

Wedding Save the Date Cards?Best Ideas and Wording

The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the... Read More

How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style

Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round... Read More

Married 4 Good Thinking

Although I do believe in "till death do us part",... Read More

Italian Honeymoon Vacations

Going to Italy on a honeymoon vacation could be the... Read More

Wedding Loans: Perfect Finance Option for a Perfect Wedding

After seeing each other for years and being tagged as... Read More

Florida Honeymoon Vacations

Celebrate your marriage by planning a Florida honeymoon vacation with... Read More

Searching For An Affordable Mother Of The Bride Dress

It is absolutely possible to find a beautiful and affordable... Read More

Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget

Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More

Send Flowers and Liberate Your Bridal Party From the Shackles Of Monogram Hell

With so many ways to ask your closest friends and... Read More

Games For A Wedding Shower

Games for a wedding shower are the best ways to... Read More

Wedding Planning: Clear Communication with Your Wedding Guests

Effective communication between you and your wedding guests is essential... Read More

Moissanite Engagement Rings ? Find The Perfect Glam You?re Looking For

Wish to make that one day in your life really... Read More

Choosing The Right Music For Your Wedding

OverviewI suppose a typical Christian wedding in the UK can... Read More

Eight Cheap Honeymoon Ideas for Couples on a Budget

Between paying for the wedding and setting up a new... Read More

Marriage Missing its Spark?

If the fires of passion in your marriage have been... Read More

Wedding Web Site Design - How to Design a Wedding Site That Others Will Rave About

If you are in the process of design a wedding... Read More

How to Find, Select, and Afford a Wedding Photographer

You are engaged and one of the most important days... Read More

To Stay Married, Keep Dating

One of my favorite memories from last year was not... Read More

Wedding Receiving Line Etiquette?Greeting Your Guests with Style

Even though it's a great tradition with a long history,... Read More

Todays Wedding Is Brought To You In Association With ...

With the cost of today's weddings spiraling to astronomical levels,... Read More

Jewish Wedding Traditions - The Wedding Day in a Nutshell

Many of the Jewish wedding traditions are derived from ancient... Read More

Helping The Control Freak Plan The Wedding

My daughter and fiancé have finally set the "big day"... Read More

Meaningful Wedding Gift Ideas

A wedding is one of the most special days planned... Read More

How to Choose a Pearl Necklace for Your Wedding Day

The elegant beauty of a strand of pearls... Read More

Attracting Marital Fulfillment, Its Not To Late To Start Right Now

As a personal and professional development coach, I have listened... Read More

Flower Girl Flowers

There are many options available to adorn your flower girl... Read More