Wife Smarter Than Husband?

Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than her husband?

Of course! Men who cannot afford social ornaments sometimes want inferior wives. Why? Often because they harbor a great sense of inferiority. Therefore at all economic levels there are some men who want apparently weak and docile women whom they can dominate completely, who will not put up any arguments, and who will do as they are told without any "ifs," "ands," or "buts." Likewise there are women who either want to be dominated, or who are so eager to marry that they will do so under such circumstances.

What about the "ordinary man" who has no serious feelings of inadequacy, and who cannot afford, and does not desire a social ornament? Does he demand that his wife not have too many brains?

Certainly he wants her to be intelligent enough to do her job well. He does not want to feel ashamed of her because of her stupidity. Actually, too, the marriage will turn out more successfully if the wife is smart enough to be interesting, and to help develop satisfying personal relationships.

Still, the man usually does not want to feel inferior to his wife. But feeling inferior is not the same as being inferior. Some men have a quiet pride in a wife who is smarter, provided that she is smart enough not to make him appear and feel inferior, especially in front of his friends.

Some men, like some women, want others to run things for them. This desire may result from an unwillingness to assume responsibilities. It may come from a deep-seated desire to be dominated. Whatever its basis, there are men who want to be dominated by their wives. In such cases, both of them should know it in advance.

The problem is not limited to what men in general, or this man in particular, may want. There is also social demand. The boy and the girl who plan marriage should have a clear understanding of what the entire situation actually is, including its contradictions which they must somehow resolve.

Our culture expects the husband to be intellectually superior to his wife. Yet actually, he is not and in many cases cannot be. By the law of chances, there will be almost as many wives who are superior to their husbands, as husbands who are superior to their wives. So what to do?

In real life the situation does not work out too badly. Vocationally, the wife usually becomes side-tracked while she is bearing and rearing the children. With a twenty-year advantage, even a relatively inferior husband can usually manage to keep ahead. And as a result of the differences in what society expects, the wife usually runs with the throttle only partly open.

While the husband is advancing himself vocationally, or rising in his company, the wife busies herself getting up church suppers and organizing flower shows which consume her time and energy, but do not show up in either the pay check or her vocational standing.

Yet such advantages are not always enough to keep the husband ahead. If the difference in ability is marked, it speedily becomes known.

Such a situation may be concealed by a polite little conspiracy to maintain the fiction of male superiority, but everyone knows to whom to go, to get things done. In our day this fiction is becoming more difficult to maintain.

More and more wives are going back to work as soon as their children are old enough to be left by themselves, and are getting real money and recognition.

In some instances, the wife will outstrip her husband. The problem often becomes a real issue at the time when her income exceeds his.

My feeling is that the soundest marriages are those in which husband and wife are on about the same level of intelligence. We may think that the problem will be serious, only if the girl is markedly superior, but this is by no means necessarily true. The girl who marries a man who is intellectually far superior may face problems quite as serious. She will be safer if she chooses a man more nearly on her own level, so that through the years the relationship can most easily be maintained.

There is just as much chance that the wife will be superior to the husband, as the other way around. All who marry should face this fact. Actually there is no more justification for a man feeling embarrassed because his wife is superior, than there is for a wife to feel embarrassed because her husband excels her.

In any case, character and personality are far more important, provided each of the couple is intelligent enough to do a good job.

This article was written by Jonathan Tan of Christian Dating Tips and may be reproduced on any christian or dating website provided this copyright statement is displayed unedited in its entirety at the foot of the article and you use the exact same HTML code to ensure a clickable link back to the author's site.

---

How to Write a Love Letter

Let's talk about writing love letters.Not candy coated pap. Not... Read More

What Has Worked For Us (Brief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years Of Marriage)

WHAT HAS WORKED FOR USBrief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years... Read More

A Summer Wedding

THE sunshine had come out to ensure the wedding of... Read More

Wedding Flowers: How It Emulates Your Personality

Your wedding day, what is presumed to be the happiest... Read More

Wedding Planning: Clear Communication with Your Wedding Guests

Effective communication between you and your wedding guests is essential... Read More

Wedding Planning

Depending on your personal preferences and the preferences of your... Read More

Wedding Rings ? Through the Ages and for All Eternity

The exact origin of the wedding ring is uncertain and... Read More

Send Flowers and Liberate Your Bridal Party From the Shackles Of Monogram Hell

With so many ways to ask your closest friends and... Read More

The Wide Range of Maui Wedding Ceremonies

Whatever your religious affiliation, or whatever you'd like to experience,... Read More

The Key to the Perfect Wedding

There are many answers to this question, it all depends... Read More

A Guide to Wedding Invitations

The wedding date and time has been set, the location... Read More

Las Vegas Elvis Weddings

Got a yen for Elvis? Lots of people do. There... Read More

Marriage Advice: What to Throw Overboard When Your Marriage Is In Trouble

When your marriage is in trouble and you're fighting to... Read More

Anniversary Gifts and Perfumes

How many times has your anniversary come around and you... Read More

Focus On What Is Important ? Your Wedding Disc Jockey Choice

Your true love got down on his knees and asked... Read More

Alternatives to Diamond Rings ? What Choices Do You Have?

There is little doubt that planning a wedding can be... Read More

Jewish Wedding Rings - Traditions and Customs and How to Buy Smart

In a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, Jewish wedding rings play... Read More

How to Keep Hope Alive During a Marriage Crisis

During a marriage crisis, you can feel like your whole... Read More

Flowers in Her Hair

Before George W Bush became a President, John Quincy Adams... Read More

Dealing With Your Spouses Sexual Past

"Couples who've had sex before marriage will inevitably have sexual... Read More

The Beautiful Bride To Be ? Beauty Tips For The Big Day

It goes without saying that we all want to look... Read More

Make Your Honeymoon an Everlasting Experience

Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life.... Read More

Cost Effective Weddings

Many people believe that weddings have to be costly. But... Read More

Inside Secrets On How To Stay In Love

My husband Bill and I have just had our 37th-wedding... Read More

Six Ways to Decorate Your Wedding Arch

Sometimes a wedding arch is a no-brainer way to spruce... Read More

Expert Tips on Making Your Own Wedding Stationery

Vital tips on making your own wedding invitations - by... Read More

Marriage and the Election

Dear Friends of Marriage,There is a lot of talk on... Read More

Keeping A Marriage Romantic

My belief is that most relationship problems should be given... Read More

How to Select a Wedding Photographer

Selecting a wedding photographer can be a daunting task. Not... Read More

Planning Your Outdoor Wedding Reception

An outdoor wedding reception can be host to an almost... Read More

Diamond Wedding Rings ? The Things to Look For

There is a huge array of diamond wedding rings available... Read More

Wedding Gown Styles

The wedding gown is most important choice for a bride... Read More

Mexico Honeymoon Vacations

Mexico, a country rich in arts and ancient cultures and... Read More