Once Upon a Conflict

Once upon a time there lived an innocent, hardworking manager. One day he dared to wander from the safety of his open-concept office to speak out at a team meeting. He was immediately challenged, nay attacked, by another team member and his senior manager, embarrassing him in front of his peers. Plagued by downsizing, this noble manager feared for his job. A senior human resource professional saved the day through mediation. From that day forward, the manager carried that scar and never trusted anyone enough to speak out again.

I am a management consultant and corporate coach. When it comes to fundamentals, my work is in creating spaces for people to make meaning, and move forward. We do not check our souls at the door to the workplace. Many of us are encountering a relentless speeding-up of life, an absence of thoughtfulness, fracturing relationships, and polarized issues. If we fail to prepare ourselves with appropriate skills, we face the risk of being weakened by pressure, stress, and overwhelm at a time when our help and our leadership are needed most. I offer some simple steps for making meaning and thriving if conflict rears its head.

1. Honor others' choices

There are times when try as we might, we just can't understand other people's choices. I believe that not allowing others their choices plays a part in conflicted or violent situations. I realize that for some people limits and legislated behavior seems to be the only thing that works, and I do not condone violent behavior. And yet, if we are here to express the uniqueness of our soul, then at some level we are all free or none of us are free. And so, if you like being able to choose the things that you like to choose...then it might be all right with you that others choose the things they want to choose.

2. Hold your colleagues in your thoughts with deliberate intention.

Clients experiencing conflict at work find themselves moving into worry about the future and what is going to happen or might happen. Often concerned that fears might consume or paralyze them. Fear is often the catalyst for some of our most positive change. The only way to relax and stay relaxed is acceptance. You don't have to agree, or follow, or condone, but acceptance means you begin any interaction with a serenity that invites others to engage with you.

3. Practice Extreme Self-Care

When you travel on an airplane the instructions are when traveling with a child or infirm person, PUT YOUR OWN OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST!

Scientists and physicists believe that thoughts are not just words in your head; they actually become units of energy that radiate out from you and affect your environment. Your thoughts largely influence your physiology, attitudes, actions, and entire experience of life. Thoughts also attract circumstances that resonate with their own energies. In times of stress we often forget our inherent playfulness.

Remember your natural state ? your connection to the stream of wellbeing.

Appreciate more ? criticize less often

Relax and become curious and playful

Fix less ? Savor more

4. Embracing vulnerability

I do not claim to have answers to workplace conflict. In my work in leadership in Canada, Siberia, U.S., and Jamaica, we invite leaders to put aside the stress of having all the answers or pretending to have all the answers. Transformational leaders do not give us the answers; they help gather us together so that together we can discover the answers.

By changing the way we see the world, by noticing what we are thinking about the world, by becoming aware of when we are judging, of when we are criticizing, of any time we are coming from anything other than love, and learning to shift that immediately, we are bringing the world one step closer to peace.

Early societies were built upon the wisdom that emerged from the shared leadership of councils. Our future may depend on our ability to draw that collective wisdom into the modern age.

About The Author

Since the early 1980s, Judith Richardson, M.A., has been pioneering in the fields of sustainable leadership, essential partnership, international teamwork, educational renewal, creating a customer service culture and workplace diversity. Featured in ICFAI University's Executive Reference on Diversity Management, author of Four Keys to Engaging Leadership, and Keynote at International Conferences, Judith was nominated for International Coach of the Year 2003, and works with International Organizational Development across North America, Europe, Jamaica, Denmark, Sweden, Israel and Russia. (www.ponoconsultants.com www.emergentfeminine.com). Tel: (902) 434-6695.

JudithRichardson2000@yahoo.ca

---

Issue Management Methodology for Tracking Project Issues

1. What is an Issue?An issue is an incident, circumstance,... Read More

Bye-Bye Boring Meetings! Make Yours Remarkable!

It's the middle of the night. You've woken up with... Read More

5 Questions Great Managers Ask (and they arent hard!)

However hard we try, we seem to make life more... Read More

Factoring Financing: How to Grow Your Business Without Debt or Loans

What is factoring?Accounts receivable financing, also known as factoring, is... Read More

Muggers in Our Midst - When Rumour and Gossip Pay You a Visit

'I heard it on the grapevine' the old song goes.... Read More

Are You Ready to Sell Your Business

Make Sure You Understand Your Motivation for SellingAre you thinking... Read More

Employee Discipline: How to Nip Problems in the Bud

Are you uncomfortable with delivering disciplinary action, even involving employees... Read More

Creativity and Innovation Management ? Money Doesnt Do It

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Juggling Demands in an Organization

JUGGLING DEMANDS: All leaders constantly juggle a multifarious array of... Read More

Shrinkage Control

What has been your store's shrinkage experience for the last... Read More

Group Discussion Guidelines

DISCUSSION METHODS: There are two basic types of discussion methods;... Read More

Creative and Innovative Culture, Change Management ? Three Easy Tests

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

The 5 Things Great Managers Sense about their People, Every Day

Using all of your senses, to help you test how... Read More

Is this A Good Time To Sell Your Body Shop Business?

Have you ever asked yourself the question? "Is this a... Read More

Using an Appraisal to Benefit Your Organization

PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS BENEFIT THE ORGANIZATION:Appraisals help spot employees with potential... Read More

Why Business Owners Need Security

The main reason is to stop any potential lawsuits from... Read More

9 Strategies for Writing Accounts Payable Procedures

The Cash to Cash Cycle Part Four of SeriesNext: Complete... Read More

Recognition: A Quick, Low-cost Way to Motivate Employees

Recognizing good performance through praise or other positive action is... Read More

Help Your Employees Prepare for a Performance Appraisal

PREPARING EMPLOYEES FOR THE PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL INTERVIEWS: Remind employees to... Read More

Relationship Building - 5 Tips and 5 Questions

And is isn't hard - it's more about focusing on... Read More

How to Approach Group Decision Making

GROUP DECISION MAKING -- IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM: Tell specifically what... Read More

How to do SWOT Analysis for your Business

SWOT analysis is needed for all business to understand how... Read More

Interviewing Applicants Can Be Hazardous to Your Wealth

1st Fact: Interviewing applicants is the most common way companies... Read More

Are You A B.O.S.S. -- Boisterous, Omnipotent, Self Indulgent, Sociopath

Boisterous, Omnipotent, Self- indulgent Sociopath. Avoid the B.O.S.S. syndrome with... Read More

Getting Software Developed for Your Business

At some point, your business is going to need to... Read More

PR Still a Mystery to Some

Unfortunately, there are managers who define public relations by its... Read More

Selective Job Cuts Often Benefits Firm More Than Broad Layoffs Over Long Term

It is difficult to pick up a newspaper or listen... Read More

Unveiling the Value of Your Expertise

All of us have knowledge, expertise, and experience that others... Read More

How to Manage Your People Well: Tips for Managers of Training

As a training manager, there are two important aspects to... Read More

Unravelling the Data Mining Mystery - The Key to Dramatically Higher Profits

Data mining is the art of extracting nuggets of gold... Read More

Identifying Candidates for Leadership

A critical task in the succession planning process of any... Read More

10 Ways To Work Through A Business Slowdown

In running any kind of business, it's inevitable that sometimes... Read More

Implementation the Catalyst of Change for Management to Reach that Next Level of Success

From the personal and professional experiences of other colleagues and... Read More