Build Rapport Fast! - Eight Easy Steps

Building rapport is all about creating a relationship, in the moment. And this is vital in business, education, friendships and many other areas of life. We need relationships to help us get the things we want for ourselves in our lives, like money, promotions, success, partners and above all to feel part of society. You see we are social animals, us humans and if we find it challenging to make relationships, then we feel excluded. And that ain't comfortable.

So, let's build rapport quickly and easily in the just eight easy steps!

  • Pay Attention
    Now some will say that you must make continued eye contact, but, you know, some folks find that invasive and threatening. So match what they do, if they look at you, look at them. But whatever you do, ensure that you give an appropriate level of attention to them. In Dale Carnegie's wonderful book, 'How to Win Friends & Influence People', he tells a story of how he sat next to someone at dinner one evening. All night his fellow guest talked; all night Carnegie listened. A few weeks later, he was amazed to hear from a mutual friend how interesting his dinner companion had found him - even though Carnegie said virtually nothing all evening!

  • Value Them
    ..which leads us to how you relate to them. If someone is talking to you about something, make sure you show you value what they are saying, by asking them at least one additional openquestion about what they are talking to you about. Remember these? The 4 W's of HoW (yea, I know!), What, Where or Who - perhaps not Why, which can be seen as a challenge at the start of a relationship. 4 easy, helpful, interested open question types.

  • Be Like Them
    By matching physically, you will make a far greater impression. So, if they are standing, stand, leaning forward, lean forward. Ever spoken to a child? What did you do - you crouched down, didn't you. Why? Because you felt more able to communicate. It works well for big people too!

  • Follow Up
    How often have you discussed something and then it hasn't been followed through afterwards. Promises not kept. And how did that leave your relationship with that person? Not good eh? Following through on what you promise is not just good practice, it is vital if you want to build a strong, trusting relationship. People notice, even when you don't. Also remember to underpromise and overdeliver.

  • Laugh a Lot
    Laughter is a powerful tool in building relationships - you are sharing the same emotion, in the same moment. Ever seen two people in fits of laughter? How strong was that bond then? Pretty strong, I guess. Ever been there yourself? Yes, you know the feeling. It works, so share the fun and joy of the moment.

  • Hear Them
    It is not about listening, it's about hearing them. So what's the distinction here? It means being so with the person that you sense other things beneath the words. This is a very powerful tool you can use. Further sensitive questioning then adds into your evidence, which can give you great clues to help build the relationship.

  • Be The Audience
    Remember that when you are talking, you might be using the same language, but you hear it with different ears, different experiences and altogether a different 'take' on the words. A great coach I know, Elaine Wylie, had a problem with her cell phone one day and heard a serious echo. She heard herself fully before her caller responded. It was very revealing. So hear what you are saying from your audience's 'ears'.

  • Give space - Listen up
    Have you ever spoken to someone uninterrupted for as long as it took to say all you had to say? Were there spaces where it went quiet? What did you say next? In Nancy Kilne's great book 'Time to Think' she explores great exercises to do just that. The experience is magical. Give your listener space to talk and let them fill the silences. You will have pure rapport and a recognition that you care so much.

    So that's all there is to it. There maybe a few other things, but get these here somewhere like right and it will create relationships of value for you all over the place - through the rapport you have built in the moment.

    Daunted? Don't be. Try one or two at a time and see the reaction - play with these ideas. Build your confidence. Enjoy the learning to Build Rapport Fast!

    Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. He works worldwide, mainly by phone, with small business owners, managers and corporate leaders. He has hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com

    ...helping you, to help your people, to help your business grow...

    In The News:

    • pen paper and inkwell


    cat break through


    Six Honest Business Friends - They Guide Me In All I Do

    SIX "HONEST BUSINESS FRIENDS" - THEY GUIDE ME IN ALL... Read More

    Innovation Management and Brainstorming Management ? why people hate to brainstorm!

    Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

    Recruitment - What Youre Really, Really Looking For

    Imagine that you're a sports coach and you need a... Read More

    Where Businesses Fall Short

    1. No vision. Successful businesses have a clear vision or... Read More

    To Thine Own Self Be True--Its Better for Business: What Arthur Andersen Would Say to His Company

    As a child, you probably heard, "to thine own self... Read More

    Blame Culture Blues - How the Language of Blame Manifests Organisational Underperformance

    If you have ever worked within a large organisation then... Read More

    Innovation Management ? Six Crucial Steps

    Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

    PR Still a Mystery to Some

    Unfortunately, there are managers who define public relations by its... Read More

    Employee Performance - If You Want the Best, Get Personal!

    This is a story about a man and three dogs.I... Read More

    Why I always Keep my Promises

    Integrity is very important to me, and I try hard... Read More

    Creative People, Innovative People

    The title implies that some people are and others not.This... Read More

    The Devil We Know

    "I'm in an abusive relationship," sighed Andrew. "My bookkeeper annoys... Read More

    How To Manage A Difficult Employee

    Having to manage a difficult employee is never fun and... Read More

    Appraisal Systems - Not Living Up to Their Objectives

    Almost, if not all organisations have them, they've been around... Read More

    Tap Employee Passion For Business Success

    Meriwether Lewis set the stage for the Corps of Discovery's... Read More

    Innovation Management: The Quality and Quantity of the Idea Pool

    Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

    Using an Appraisal to Benefit Your Organization

    PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS BENEFIT THE ORGANIZATION:Appraisals help spot employees with potential... Read More

    Working with Hearing Impaired Employees - Giving Them a Fair Go

    Hearing impaired people often encounter difficulty at work because their... Read More

    How to Prepare for Your Companys Financial Future

    Sooner or later, most business owners need to look for... Read More

    Manage Your Time - Save Your Business.

    If you work from home, chances are you already know... Read More

    Problem-Solving Success Tip: Use Your Time for Problems that are Truly Important

    Use your time for problems that are truly important.Hard as... Read More

    Employers - Protect Yourself from Custody Battles that Hold Your Company Hostage

    Child custody? How'd that get to be an employer's concern?When... Read More

    Poor Employee Performance: How to Deal

    KEEP WRITTEN RECORDS: "Document !Document! Document!" Keep a record of... Read More

    Innovation Management: Radical Innovation

    Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

    Juggling Demands in an Organization

    JUGGLING DEMANDS: All leaders constantly juggle a multifarious array of... Read More

    Is Your Business Healthy?

    Most business owners I work with want to grow their... Read More

    Leadership in Troubled Times

    Leadership in Troubled Times The... Read More

    The Significance of the Mundane

    This article begins with a tip of the hat to... Read More

    Saying ?No? Gracefully to Customers and Colleagues

    Envision the scenario: You've just been asked at the last... Read More

    Creativity and Innovation Management: The Creative State

    Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

    How to Say No

    Rejection hurts. No one likes to give it or to... Read More

    Lawyers With 2 Hands And Everything Else

    I heard this back a few years ago. The boss... Read More

    You?re Hired, Now Go Home: Managing Workers at a Distance

    Telecommuting or virtual work opens up a wider net of... Read More