Saying ?No? Gracefully to Customers and Colleagues

Envision the scenario: You've just been asked at the last minute by Chris, the organizer of your local networking group, to replace the scheduled speaker at next month's meeting. You already have too many commitments on your plate. Imagine your response:

You: "Well, I don't think I'd have enough time to prepare. I'm awfully sorry-I wish I could help you!"

Chris: "Your last speech was super-maybe you could just talk some more about that topic? I'd really appreciate it!"

You: "I'm glad you liked it--maybe I could do it?

Chris: "Oh that would be great! Just let me know the title?" ...fade

How might you feel about doing this speech? You might feel stressed or resentful. You might not be at your best when you do the speech. Other work that you'd really like to be doing might suffer.

Now imagine a different response:

You: "No, I can't be prepared on such short notice. I know how hard it is to find someone-Alex speaks on a variety of topics and I think she could fill in for you. I'll give you her number."

Chris: "Thanks! That will really help."

This is a win-win-win: Alex gets an opportunity to speak (her specialty), Chris gets a speaker, and you aren't saddled with a commitment you don't want--plus, you've probably earned some good will from both Alex and Chris. What a difference!

Whether you are saying no to a collaborator asking you to do something, or saying no to a potential client that you really don't want to have, the ability to say no gracefully is a key skill when you are in business as a solo entrepreneur. Here are four quick steps to learning this skill:

1. Understand the reasons you say "yes", even when you don't really want to. Here are some common reasons; which ones apply to you?

-- You want to please people; you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

-- The customer is always right, you can't say no to the customer!

-- It's not polite to say no; if you say no you feel you are being self-centered.

-- You are flattered by the request.

-- You feel like you need the business!

-- You can't think of a nice way to say no fast enough.

--You think there might be other unforeseen negative consequences if you say no.

2. Recognize the good things that can come out of saying "no":

-- You have more opportunities to say "yes" to the right customer.

-- You have more time to do the things you *want* to do.

-- Saying no expresses how you *really* feel. You are taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting others take responsibility for theirs.

-- Someone else who really wants this customer's business, has a chance to get it

3. Learn how to say "no" gracefully:

-- "No, I can't do that." Don't beat around the bush-put "no" right upfront.

-- Use non-verbal cues to underscore the "no"-shake your head; use a firm and direct voice, use eye-contact.

-- Add an explanation if you want, but don't apologize: "I have another commitment." - even if that commitment is to yourself!

-- Be empathetic if the situation calls for it: "I know how hard it is to find a tax-preparer at this time of year."

-- Recommend an alternative if one is available: "Let me refer you to..."

-- If you're not sure, it's always OK to ask for more time to think it over!

4. Practice your new skill:

-- Rehearse ahead of time if you think it will help. Role play with your business coach or a friend or colleague.

-- Choose a low-risk situation first. Practice on your significant other, family, friends. Or practice on strangers, if that's easier for you: the salesclerk who wants to sell you one more thing, the telemarketer calling at dinner.

-- Work your way up to friendly clients. They are likely to appreciate the boundaries you are setting!

-- When you have the courage to fire that client who hasn't paid and makes unreasonable demands-you'll know you've mastered saying "NO!" (Hint: refer them to someone else that is a better fit and help manage the transition!)

Saying "no" gives you freedom. It is a way of honoring both yourself and the person you are saying "no" to. Learn to do it well, and you will earn the respect of others--and yourself!

Copyright 2004, Terri Zwierzynski, Accel Innovation, Inc.

_________

Terri Zwierzynski is a coach to small business owners and Solo Entrepreneurs. She is also the CEI (Conductor of Extraordinary Ideas) at Solo-E.com and the author of 136 Ways To Market Your Small Business. Terri is an MBA honors graduate from UNC-Chapel Hill. Terri has been coaching for over 10 years in a variety of settings, including 6 years as a senior-level coach and consultant for a Fortune 500 company. She opened her private coaching practice in 2001. You can reach Terri at http://www.TerriZ.com.

_________

***** Find more articles like this at http://www.Solo-E.com ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. *****

---

How To Manage A Difficult Employee

Having to manage a difficult employee is never fun and... Read More

What 80% of Businesses Don?t Know: Tips for Improving Your Working Capital Management

What is the number one way to prevent failure in... Read More

The Devil We Know

"I'm in an abusive relationship," sighed Andrew. "My bookkeeper annoys... Read More

Managing Employees Is A Little Like Herding Cats

Q: I started my small business about a year ago... Read More

Why Half of All Mergers Fail After the Honeymoon Ends

Marriages and corporate mergers in America have at least one... Read More

Knowledge Mapping

This module focuses on the basics of Knowledge Mapping, its... Read More

Top 5 Services Your Company?s Accounting Department Should Outsource

Accounting is one area which every company has to maintain... Read More

Magnificent Meetings - 5 Tips for Success

Your impact at meetings will determine in a big way... Read More

The Myth of the Management Team

Every business has problems. That is why the average life... Read More

Innovation Management ? Innovation or Profit?

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Empowering Others - Giving Them Some Control

It's been a pretty good weekend around the place -... Read More

The Three-Dimensional Communication System

Human communication is always three-dimensional. No spoken or written message... Read More

Humor in Business

With the advancement of computer simulators, anybody can repeat all... Read More

Re-Discovery Procedures for Building Effective Management Systems: Phase V

Now we turn the corner to our final phase: Re-Discovery.Last... Read More

Tales from the Corporate Frontlines: Workplace Ethics: Reaching the Highest Standard

This article relates to the Ethics in the Workplace competency,... Read More

The 6 Steps to Six Sigma

Step 1Get the proper level of Six Sigma expertise at... Read More

Sharing the Reins: 10 Reasons To Sell Your Company To Your Employees

In 1987 I sold my business, South Mountain Company, to... Read More

Communicating In Chaotic Environments

How do you, or would you, communicate in a chaotic... Read More

The Retailers Calendar

The Julian calendar we use to pass the time every... Read More

Cross Cultural Solutions for International Business

Globalisation, the expansion of intercontinental trade, technological advances and the... Read More

Benefits of Virtual Assistance

A virtual assistant is an individual who provides business services... Read More

Best Workplaces

The Best Workplaces report (Financial Times, April 28, 2005) notes... Read More

10 Steps When You Need Help in Your Business

If you think ahead and plan, many nightmare panic and... Read More

Dont Take New Hires for Granted

Hiring good people is only half the battle. The other... Read More

Budgets that Damage - The Downsides of Making the Numbers

In my organisational career, I had budgets from the age... Read More

Smart Staffing Practices: Don?t Confuse Activity with Results

Does your hiring process consist of proven practices or just... Read More

Hire The Person, Not The Resume

"? [get] the right people on the bus, the right... Read More

Factoring Financing: How to Grow Your Business Without Debt or Loans

What is factoring?Accounts receivable financing, also known as factoring, is... Read More

Are you NICE or do you CARE?

Are you NICE or do you CARE? ... Read More

CEOs Are Great, Top CEOs Are Greater

People in leading positions are often in a dilemma: on... Read More

5 Ways of Increasing Business Profits

The economy may finally be turning around and showing signs... Read More

Reducing the High Cost of Absenteeism

Employers pay a high price for absenteeism, often more than... Read More

Motivation - You Get What You Reward

There's a programme currently running on BBC Television in the... Read More