Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing

Reframing is looking at the situation with a new set of eyes. Its asking your self if you have a clear picture of the situation and of what is happening around you.

Many people get so caught up in a situation that they take on the other persons issues as their own. When you can remain calm, take a step back, you can ask your self, am I seeing this issue clearly or can I look at it differently?

For example, ask:

Is this person really angry at me?
Are they hurting and scared?
Do I have all of the facts?
Have I missed something that is important to them?
What might be the real issue hear?
Do I really want to hand my power over to them by reacting?

It's asking:

How do I want to be in this situation?
How would I want to be treated it the situation were reversed?

Quite often people will react to a situation and fly off the handle instead of respond to it. In most cases, people have stated that they regret later when they flip out instead of finding out why the other perosn was upset. When you are able to reframe, it can help you to respond to situations and command control and confidence in your own life. And that is truly what matters.

If you react to something that someone else has done or said, you get hook into the other persons stuff.

When you start to match their attitude and sling at them insult for insult, you will lose at getting what you need and any chance at helping the other person calm down and discovering what it is they really need.

Ironically, most people are not mad at the person that they are yelling at and if we yell back, it will be difficult to find out what the real issue is.

In a response, you hear what the other person is saying without interrupting. It is important not to cut them off, as that would add fuel to the fire. Most people just want to be heard and they are used to dealing with uncooperative people.

You will win them over just by remaining calm and showing them that you heard them. This is when empathy can be very empowering. You will be the one in control and staying in your own power, which is a whole lot better than being a puppet on a string at the control of anyone who gets upset around you.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
To sign up for a free report on "The 7 Secrets to Communication Mastery" go to: http://www.falconfreedom.com. To read past newsletter articles go to: Master Communicator Blog

P.S. If you like what you're reading in this newsletter, you'll love the book, "Perceptions, How to discover what you are really seeing and how it affects your belief system." It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help you overcome challenges in communicating and connecting with others. Perceptions-Understanding What you are Really Seeing.

---

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 4, Quiet Participants

There are many reasons why someone would decline to participate... Read More

Leadership Training and Character

The vast majority of leadership training available to managers focuses... Read More

Leadership Activity: How Leadership Agenda, Strategy, and Behaviors Shape Your Success!

"Forward, as occasion offers. Never look round to see whether... Read More

Leadership and The Dirty Work

The airline, Jet Blue, has been featured in many magazines... Read More

The Challenge to Lead

The topic of leadership has been and continues to be... Read More

How To Get To Know A Disabled Person

When you first meet someone who is blind, deaf, or... Read More

The Three Essential Attributes of a Leader: (Part 2) Bringing Others to the Vision

We need to engage our listeners and transform them into... Read More

Building Teams and Teamwork

A tight knit team is a group of competent individuals... Read More

Chris Top 7 Favorite Leadership Books

1. The West Point Way of Leadership.GREAT book by a... Read More

8 Questions to Ask if You Want to be a Better Leader

Those that have successfully made the transition from manager to... Read More

Premature Articulation

Ask anyone about what makes a good leader and they... Read More

Tough Times Demand Resilient Leaders

The stock market gyrates with unpredictable and heartburning results. Icons... Read More

Blowing Your Own Leadership Horn

There are two streams of competitiveness running through every organization.... Read More

Being Other Focused

In the Wall Street Journal, Franklin Lavin, U.S. Ambassabor to... Read More

5 Tips to Help You Win Big & Become a Village Hero

A few years ago, I returned to my impoverished village... Read More

Leadership ? Push vs. Pull?

At your next staff meeting consider leading your team through... Read More

C4 Leadership: Taking Your Leadership (and your Life) from Good...To Explosive!

Chances are if you're interested in this post, you're looking... Read More

Stand Out as a Leader, Do 5 Things Better! Number One: Improve the Quality of Your Decision Making!

The manager administers, the leader improves; the manager maintains, the... Read More

Shades of Grey: Government, Religion, & People

Some think that everything is black and white. I'm beginning... Read More

Are You a Good Manager or a Great Leader?

Your word is your truth - Know that when you... Read More

Leadership For Deep Results: Without Them Are You Wasting Your Leadership And Your Life? (Part One)

I've challenged all leaders I have worked with during the... Read More

Introduction to the The Enneagram as a Leadership Tool

The Enneagram is a fascinating tool of nine orientations that... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 6, Deadlocked Discussions

Although a meeting is a vehicle for resolving differences, it... Read More

Your Ultimate Leadership Feedback Loop: Their Leadership

Life on our planet flourishes through feedback. If life forms... Read More

The Four Laws Of Leadership (Part Two)

In Part One, I described the laws of motivation. In... Read More

Dream Bigger!

A number of years ago we created a graphic logo... Read More

Supervisor Training: Helpful Tips to Lead Your Pack

A new supervisor is hired to anchor a gardening project... Read More

Real Charisma, Clinton Style

What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is... Read More

Leadership - Passion, Purpose, Profit - Its Not That Hard

Go to any educational institution, look at airport bookshelves, shopping... Read More

People or Objects? - - You Decide

"How you think determines how you act. How you... Read More

Seven Personal Characteristics Of A Good Leader

How often have you heard the comment, "He or she... Read More

Helping Others Develop Their Potential

Most of us find ourselves in a position to help... Read More

Is Your Life Ready For Groundhog Day?

In the hit comedic movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray's character,... Read More