Develop a We Focus And Not a Me Focus

"There's only one thing more contagious than a good attitude ? and that's a bad attitude?Most bad attitudes are the result of selfishness." -John Maxwell ? The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle." - Benjamin Franklin

Great leaders know how to focus on the team ahead of themselves. They do this by developing a "We" focus.

Consider an exercise I often run with seminar participants. I call it the Best/Worst Supervisor exercise.

I'm going to ask you to reflect on two specific supervisor-employee relationships you have experienced from the employee side. As you read the rest of this article, stop for a moment and carefully think about these relationships with your supervisors - either past or present.

Relationship Number 1:

Think about the person you worked for that you would be willing to help anytime. Someone who you would willingly come in early, stay late, or work through lunch for just because they asked. The key phrase is, "just because they asked." The person we are considering got extra effort from you because of who they were and not from the position of authority they held over you.

You might write down the answers to the following questions as you reflect on this experience:

- What specifically did they do?

- How did they behave towards you and others to create this feeling in you?

- How much fear did you feel associated with working for them?

- Did you feel controlled or influenced by them? In other words, did they have an indirect effect on your behavior, or did they directly regulate your behavior?

My personal experience, verified by discussions with thousands of business people across the country, is that most people report a positive, influence type relationship with this person.

We'll call this person the Best Supervisor.

Relationship Number 2:

Now, think about a supervisor you hated to do anything for. The supervisor who kept checking your progress, criticizing your work, and threatening to punish you in some way if you didn't perform to standard.

Now, reconsider these questions with regard to this person.

- What specifically did they do?

- How did they behave towards you and others to create this feeling in you?

- How much fear did you feel associated with working for them?

- Did you feel controlled or influenced by them? In other words, did they have an indirect effect on your behavior, or did they directly regulate your behavior?

We'll call this person the Worst Supervisor.

Most people say that the Best Supervisor got more voluntary effort and better long-term performance and relationship results from their team. I have yet to meet the person who says the Worst Supervisor got great performance from their team.

Now consider this question for a moment: Who do you think these two people thought/think about first? Most people say that the Best Supervisor tends to keep their focus on others. Most people also say that the Worst Supervisor tends to think only of themselves and their interests.

The question for leaders becomes ? How do I want the people on my team to view me?

The answer lies in how we, the leaders, think.

Our thoughts become words or actions that influence the behavior of the people around us. When I focus on my personal desires, I act in selfish ways. When I act in selfish ways, I inspire mediocre performance in my team. When I focus on the team, I act in the team's best interest. When I act in the team's best interest, I inspire high-level performance in my team.

As I close this article, my mind is racing with possible questions and qualifying statements. Due to space and time constraints, I haven't even begun to address some of the issues that come to mind:

- How does this apply to team members who don't want to play nice?

- How do you preserve the integrity of your vision while working with people who see things differently? etc.

These issues are too big to consider all at once. I'll address these related issues at a different time.

So for now, I encourage you to remember this one tip . . .

Develop a "we" focus and not a "me" focus.

Copyright 2005, Guy Harris

You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media.

About the Author:

Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with Principle Driven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict, and improve team performance. Learn more at http://www.principledriven.com

Guy co-authored "The Behavior Bucks System TM" to help parents reduce stress and conflict with their children. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com

---

In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 1)

The ancient Greeks had a saying: "When Aschines speaks, the... Read More

Leadership For Deep Results: Without Them Are You Wasting Your Leadership And Your Life? (Part Two)

How does one go about getting deep results? There are... Read More

Blowing Your Own Leadership Horn

There are two streams of competitiveness running through every organization.... Read More

Is Your Life Ready For Groundhog Day?

In the hit comedic movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray's character,... Read More

BIG-3 Leadership!

"Do what you do so well that they will want... Read More

You Make The Difference

What do you think makes your company successful? Your newest... Read More

Ask Yourself Whats In It For WE?

"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working... Read More

Leadership Training Seminar - What Makes A Great Leader?

At one point or another, we have all been either... Read More

Leadership for the Successful Entrepreneur!

Why talk about leadership?"Leadership is important whether you a leader... Read More

UNCLOS III Process model

The United Nations Conference on Law of the Sea was... Read More

Leadership Skills Training Empowers Problem-solving and Visioning

Leadership skills training programs empower you to influence, persuade or... Read More

Teen View of Leadership From Around the World

It has been stated that the world of tomorrow will... Read More

Dont be Afraid to Lead!

In most aspects of human activity, the pendulum of fashion... Read More

To be, or Not to be (Average)?

When is hate OK? When it's the feeling you have... Read More

Leadership Challenges: The Walls In Our Lives

We have all experienced walls or challenges in our work... Read More

Weakness, Struggle, Fear, Knowledge, Growth, Courage, Leader

Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most remarkable men in... Read More

Your Ultimate Leadership Feedback Loop: Their Leadership

Life on our planet flourishes through feedback. If life forms... Read More

Leadership Skills and Ability

What is true Leadership.Is leadership something we are born with... Read More

What We Can Learn From J. Paul Getty

J. Paul Getty planned to enter the U.S. Diplomatic Service,... Read More

The Three Faces of Leadership

This article was published in the Nov. 2003 edition of... Read More

Leaders ARE; Are you?

Identity CrisisIt's not only the knowledge you carry around in... Read More

Ten Qualities Of A Great Leader - Plus 1

Great Leaders are optimists first and foremost. Their tendency is... Read More

People Problems -- Understanding the Dueling Paradigms

You've spent the last 12 years riding your technical skills... Read More

The Flexible Leadership Workshop

The Leadership ChallengeLeaders in today's society are faced with an... Read More

What Kind of Leader Are You?

You are a leader if someone is following you. This... Read More

Visions of Leadership

Right about now, you've made the discovery that... Read More

5 Power Keys For Leadership Success!

Did you know that you can successfully handle most leadership... Read More

Dont Be a Complainer

Complaining. There's room for legitimate complaining, but if you let... Read More

People or Objects? - - You Decide

"How you think determines how you act. How you... Read More

Give Your Valentine A Very Special Gift - Empowerment

Delegating is a commonly misunderstood concept. Delegating is not about... Read More

7 Awesome Leadership Power Generators!

7 Awe-Inspiring Leadership Power-Generating Strategies!Here's a really simple way you... Read More

Leading In The Face Of Disaster

The date was Saturday, April 11, 1970, the time 13:13... Read More

Partnership: Choose It or Lose It

Charlotte decides to do good. Charlotte is a highly motivated... Read More