Leadership Skills: Four Ways of Overcoming Perfectionism

We pay a high price for perfectionism. "What perfectionism?" we perfectionists mutter. "We've known for years perfectionism is not healthy so we have dealt with this issue and strive for personal excellence only!" Really?

When you slip-up - maybe handle a situation, task or project less than perfectly ? what do you say to yourself? Are you able to commend yourself on what you did well and perhaps then, note a thing or two you could improve upon? Or do you focus on the mistake or less-than-perfect behavior neglecting your positive efforts?

Recently I completed facilitating six evening "Leadership" sessions. Being only my second time facilitating this particular series I closely observed my "perfectionistic" tendency. As I completed each session I could readily see areas I could have improved upon.

Commend Yourself! Gently Observe Improvements!

For me, it took a huge effort to commend myself on what I had done well and to be gentle with myself on the areas of improvement. In fact, I made a pointed effort of congratulating myself after each session and allowed myself the joy and relief of savoring a job well done when the series of six was completed. This is not a simple, natural process for us perfectionists.

To further this exercise in self-acknowledgement I did not read my participant's evaluations at the program end as usual. This was perhaps a first in my fourteen years of facilitating. Too often, I have rushed to read the evaluations to determine my success.

Eventually I will receive a summary of the evaluations from the College I was contracted to but more importantly, I have deepened my self esteem and self worth through rewarding, congratulating and commending myself despite what others may think. To be a strong leader and healthy human being let us begin now acknowledging our achievements rather than devaluing our worth and work.

Herein, we begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside influences to determine our worth or how well we have done. We begin to befriend ourselves and give the internal "Judge" less power over us.

Not only are we robbed of the enjoyment of our efforts by focusing on what went wrong and neglecting to commend ourselves but also, by rushing into worry over the next thing we have to do. When caught in this repetitive ritual of "not good enough? do better? do more?" I have found this simple phrase very freeing?

Not Perfect but Well Enough!

Feel the relief and comfort of this phrase, "not perfect but well enough!" Yes! Thank You God! "Thank You God" is another simple phrase that can help relieve us of the burden of perfectionism. Not only have I been working on giving myself credit but also on thanking God for His/Her part in my success. I know I must constantly turn to my God, my Source, my Higher Power ? call it what you will ? for guidance in all I do.

In the perfectionist's mind it is all up to ME to do everything so very, very well but of course - never quite measuring up. The more I trust that God is working in me and through me the more I can lay down the heavy burden of perfectionism. It is not all up to ME. My job is to "do my best and give God the rest."

Do My Best and Give God the Rest

Even in the midst of our fear, doubt and inadequacy we can comfort and encourage ourselves by knowing it is not all up to us. We can trust God is also at work and all is unfolding according to a Grand Design far greater than our understanding. As an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan so simply says "Let go and let God."

We can become better leaders and human beings and release ourselves from the bondage of perfectionism by practicing these few ideas.

1. Commend yourself on a job well done.
2. Be gentle observing your areas of improvement.
3. Remember: "Not perfect but well enough!
4. Do your best and give God the rest.

What a relief to give up responsibility for doing everything AND doing it perfectly!

Teresa Proudlove has been inspiring, supporting, and guiding over 3000 people upon their career and life work path for over fourteen years - with compassion and heart. Teresa's workshops offer a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves, for others, and for our lifework path. This entrepreneurial woman also owned and successfully operated two women's retail boutiques for ten years. For over twelve years, Teresa was a well-read newspaper columnist. Visit Teresa at http://www.yourlifework.com; listen to your inner guidance and navigate through life and work with more meaning, acceptance and peace.

---

Who Needs Heroes?

When we were talking the other day we started to... Read More

The Seven Secrets to New Age Leadership

Did you ever notice that In our American culture, we... Read More

10 Smart Ways Leaders Can Bring Out the Best in Others

You are a leader. Everyone is a leader. It doesn't... Read More

Secrets of Creating Success with Ease

Do you ever strum your fingers on the desk top... Read More

Ten Characteristics of Leadership

Many people are interested in the characteristics of a great... Read More

Shades of Grey: Government, Religion, & People

Some think that everything is black and white. I'm beginning... Read More

The Death of Potential

... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 3, Drifting From the Topic

Although new ideas lead to creative solutions, they can be... Read More

Stepping Into Leadership and Being The Source Of Your Success

Why is it that we often wait until we have... Read More

The Power of the Leader Within - The Keys to Martial Arts Life Mastery, Key#1

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"Remember... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 2, Multiple Conversations

Side conversations ruin meetings by destroying focus and fragmenting participation.Approach... Read More

Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How!

No matter what role you play in your company, becoming... Read More

What Kind of Leader Are You?

There are literally millions of words written and spoken each... Read More

Effective Leaders are (#2) Technical

SET CLEAR AND REASONABLE OBJECTIVES FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS: Plan?... Read More

Business Leadership: How Much is in Your Credibility Bank Account?

Business leaders have more than a title on their doors.... Read More

Recommended Books on Leadership and Team Building

The single most important thing a leader can do is... Read More

Three Growth Guidelines from Stephen Covey

I have been looking for answers to what it takes... Read More

The Seven Army Values - Theyre Not Just For The Military

The Army defines seven values that soldiers should strive to... Read More

Exceptional Leadership Inspires the Best Effort in Others

There is a steady stream being written and taught about... Read More

Develop a We Focus And Not a Me Focus

"There's only one thing more contagious than a good attitude... Read More

3 Es For Leaders - Engage, Empower, Encourage!

"Enflamed with the study of learning and the admiration of... Read More

Two Leadership Traps: How To Avoid Them and How To Get Out Of Them (Part 2)

Here's how to get out of, or avoid, the "I... Read More

Creating Unlimited Belief for Success!

What's holding your team back from experiencing "breakout performance"?It may... Read More

The Best Ways To Multiply The Extraordinary Leadership in Your Organization

Extraordinary Leaders are those who understand that in order for... Read More

The Leadership Vacuum

In today's fast moving, ever changing, and highly competitive world... Read More

8 Questions to Ask if You Want to be a Better Leader

Those that have successfully made the transition from manager to... Read More

Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing

Reframing is looking at the situation with a new set... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 1, General Strategies for Unproductive Behavior

It happens easily. You're conducting a meeting and suddenly a... Read More

In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 2)

In Part 1, I said that leaders who can't have... Read More

Why Not Lead With Emotions?

Studies have shown that companies that have acquired competencies to... Read More

Supervisor Training: Helpful Tips to Lead Your Pack

A new supervisor is hired to anchor a gardening project... Read More

Five Surprisingly Hip Politicial Ideas From Plato

Don't you love politics?Me, neither. But I do like thinking... Read More

Professional Organizations: Join or Fold?

All of us join professional organizations for a reason--a friend... Read More