Hidden Self Confidence

Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self confidence. Many people who are shy, or suffer from social anxiety, tell me that they lack confidence. However, their shyness or social anxiety is only one aspect of a constellation of qualities which combine to determine our confidence profile. Understanding peer independence helps many people to appreciate and build on their personal strengths.

Peer independence is the ability to 'stick to your guns' in the face of opposition or dissent from your peers. Some individuals have exceptionally high levels of peer independence, for which we should all be thankful. Peer independent people are the heroes in our society, the ones with moral courage who will stand up for truth and justice, regardless of fashion. Peer independence is a special, and relatively rare, aspect of self confidence.

As a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management, I regularly work with people with low self esteem or who perceive themselves to be lacking in confidence. Low self esteem can have its roots in a variety of sources -- accidents of upbringing, inherited disposition, recent misfortune. We are all vulnerable to this curse; just consider the way you feel immediately after receiving an insult. Low self esteem can affect anybody, with some of us more susceptible than others.

Yet when working with people who rate their own personal value quite poorly, who profess themselves utterly lacking in confidence, I often find that my clients have normal or even above-average levels of peer independence. High levels of peer independence are typically seen in leaders. Think of top politicians and business leaders. For me, the ultimate peer independent person was Margaret Thatcher. Peer independent people are iconoclasts -- they are not afraid to challenge convention.

When I find high levels of peer independence in a client I am always intrigued by the way their depressed self-image interacts with the honesty, integrity and refusal to compromise which are associated with peer independence. These are interesting people -- frequently very caring, stubborn and somewhat misunderstood. The first step in helping such people to rebuild their confidence is to highlight their great strength. Because peer independence is a wonderful quality, and deserves to be understood. It can also be a social handicap; the peer independent person is rarely a flatterer or charmer.

All manner of people can be helped with their self esteem issues. I particularly love helping people who have high levels of peer independence, because the gains can be so impressive. A peer independent person with high self esteem is a force of nature -- and a force for good. Society needs challengers, and a self confident, peer independent person can provide that constructive challenge.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self esteem. For further information relating to peer independence, and to assess your own peer independence and other confidence-related qualities, see http://www.confidenceclub.net/cont ent/peerindependence.php

---

The Six Essential Leadership Attributes

Leadership is the foundation for all organizations, whether corporate, nonprofit... Read More

7 Excellent Ways To Improve Your Leadership Skills!

Did you know that there are 7 really effective yet... Read More

People or Objects? - - You Decide

"How you think determines how you act. How you... Read More

Ten Characteristics of Leadership

Many people are interested in the characteristics of a great... Read More

The Greatest Leaders Are Often The Worst Leaders

It's a common occurrence, a CEO leads a company to... Read More

Business Leadership: How Much is in Your Credibility Bank Account?

Business leaders have more than a title on their doors.... Read More

Weakness, Struggle, Fear, Knowledge, Growth, Courage, Leader

Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most remarkable men in... Read More

Listening Like a Leader

Our studies of the most effective people in corporate America... Read More

The Seven Mistakes to Avoid when Organising Your Student Leadership Program

How do you measure the success of a training or... Read More

Stand Out as a Leader, Do 5 Things Better! Number One: Improve the Quality of Your Decision Making!

The manager administers, the leader improves; the manager maintains, the... Read More

Shades of Grey: Government, Religion, & People

Some think that everything is black and white. I'm beginning... Read More

How To Party Like Leonardo Da Vinci

After studying scores of great thinkers like Leonardo Da Vinci,... Read More

Chris Top 7 Favorite Leadership Books

1. The West Point Way of Leadership.GREAT book by a... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 1, General Strategies for Unproductive Behavior

It happens easily. You're conducting a meeting and suddenly a... Read More

7 Awesome Leadership Power Generators!

7 Awe-Inspiring Leadership Power-Generating Strategies!Here's a really simple way you... Read More

Ten Qualities Of A Great Leader - Plus 1

Great Leaders are optimists first and foremost. Their tendency is... Read More

Leadership Training and Character

The vast majority of leadership training available to managers focuses... Read More

Creating Unlimited Belief for Success!

What's holding your team back from experiencing "breakout performance"?It may... Read More

Awaken the Leader in You: 10 Easy Steps To Develop Your Leadership Skills

"The miracle power that elevates the few is to be... Read More

Who Is Randy Gage and Why Is He One of My Mentors and Heroes?

Who is Randy Gage? I first read about him in... Read More

What We Can Learn From J. Paul Getty

J. Paul Getty planned to enter the U.S. Diplomatic Service,... Read More

In Leadership, Dreams Are The Stuff That Great Results Are Made Of

Leadership is motivational or it's stumbling in the dark. The... Read More

Choose Your Best Life: Where Are Your Choices Leading You?

According to the dictionary choice means "to select freely after... Read More

In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 1)

The ancient Greeks had a saying: "When Aschines speaks, the... Read More

Partnership: Choose It or Lose It

Charlotte decides to do good. Charlotte is a highly motivated... Read More

Leadership Skill Training

Quality leadership is a positive asset that is needed in... Read More

Building Teams and Teamwork

A tight knit team is a group of competent individuals... Read More

Make the Most of Your Mentoring Relationships

Mentoring is one of the best ways to learn, to... Read More

Extraordinary People in Mediocre Times

My grandfather used to speak of the days when people... Read More

Embracing Adversity for Achievement

"Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll... Read More

The Three Essential Attributes of a Leader: The Demonstrated Abilities

Leaders need to:1. Have a vision to which they are... Read More

Being Other Focused

In the Wall Street Journal, Franklin Lavin, U.S. Ambassabor to... Read More

What Kind of Leader Are You?

There are literally millions of words written and spoken each... Read More