People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the assumption that it will be bad. Such focus on the negatives contribute to unnecessary fears of change, even when there is really not much, if anything, to fear. Sometimes that fear can be inflamed by self doubt; doubts of our own ability to deal with this new situation that is about to befall us.
As such fears are usually unfounded, then hopefully it should not be too difficult to cure our fears of change? Well, that depends on the individual. A group of people facing the same change will react and anticipate in very different ways. It is helpful to understand that life always comprises ups and downs. Nobody can be forever happy, forever in a state of perfection; the world changes and your little world changes. Those who fare the best are those who feed off the changes rather than run from them, or confront them in wasteful defiance; the tide of change will not stop because of you.
As with all experiences in life, you should try to learn from your experiences of change; before, during, and after. Experience and knowledge make for a fuller person, so here is an opportunity to take another step towards your personal maturity. I know from my personal experiences that what appear to be bad events, bad changes, can often lead to something far better.
There are some ancient beliefs which lead us to believe that every single event in our lives, little or large, happens with a pre-determined reason. They also taught that life, somehow, prepares us for certain events that will come later. Whether or not you can believe that does not really matter; what matters is that you view each event as something to be learnt from, not hide from or go into denial about. If it's happened, it's happened; we need to deal with it; we need to deal with the reality it has caused.
Throughout my life I have had the usual setbacks that many endure at one time or another; each time, something better followed, or I took with me significant and useful memories. During 1998/99, though, a whole succession of setbacks, in my personal and business life, really shook me; one after another, with no relief. I lost count; maybe there were 7 or 8. On one hand, I was suffering because of the setbacks. Each was significant, but together, they were reaching the core of my life in England. On the other hand, I was excited, wondering what all this meant. As the dust settled, I knew what it was all about. I was being released to follow my dreams. So, that's what I did.
If you have a problem dealing with a certain change in your life, and understanding what it actually means, here are a few tips that might help you:
1. Try to think only of the positive effects that will result from the change. Use meditation to see how important they are. While meditating, focus on how to get the most from the positive benefits. Then take it further: where could those benefits lead to that will enhance your life still further.
2. Imagine the worse case scenario after the change. Be realistic, and don't be lured into fantasy land to punish yourself. Now use meditation again to find solutions to any problems that may be caused by the change. That way, you will be ready for anything.
3. If you are feeling as though this change is going to affect you more than anyone, then imagine someone else in the same situation; maybe a friend of yours. You will probably find that they will handle it better than you in your imagination. This may help you to handle it better too.
4. As you go to sleep each night, imagine yourself after the change has happened: calm, relaxed, confident and happy. You have got through the change as if it did not happen, or as if it were very trivial. As you wake up, think over the same things in the same way again. You may be surprised at how well your subconscious will prepare you for the impending change.
Change? What change?
That's right, your evolution to maturity.
Roy Thomsitt is owner and part author of http://www.change-direction.com and http://www.routes-to-self-improvement.com
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 20,... Read More
How can we enjoy a better lifestyle?'Easy' I hear you... Read More
"I would like to pray more. But ... how to... Read More
All the ingredients to make 12 loaves of bread already... Read More
Huh? You're probably wondering when this article was written, and... Read More
In old buildings there was a boiler room where men... Read More
I tremble at the thought that millions of people suffer... Read More
What are you passionate about? We didn't ask if you... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
These moments of awareness are powerful motivators. They boost our... Read More
(excerpted from the New Jim Rohn Weekend Event DVD/CD series)Is... Read More
Have you ever listened to self hypnosis tapes? Or listened... Read More
We set out walking along a route where one foot... Read More
Here's a simple parable with an important moral.Each mirror, you... Read More
I imagine when we die we find out how in-tune... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29,... Read More
In pre-revolutionary Russia, a rabbi was walking to the synagogue.... Read More
Do what you love to do and give it your... Read More
"It's better to give than to receive." You've probably heard... Read More
In the pursuit of the life we dream of, this... Read More
"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else;... Read More
In the streets of Bogot�, a child - named Simon*... Read More
You're a remarkable person. But, you knew that already. Still,... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 21,... Read More
I believe that it is an amazing time in our... Read More
Mankind's ability to give life to lifeless objects, gives rise... Read More
Oh, this is a great topic! I remember when I... Read More
Back in the good old days of school, the teachers... Read More
Forgiveness is a critical element in becoming self actualized and... Read More
Change is difficult for many people. Often times our whole... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 17,... Read More
Change, no matter how you cut it, can certainly be... Read More
The true story I'm about to share will have a... Read More
Fear is deeply rooted in uncertainty. Think about it; the... Read More
It is not very often that I have an issue... Read More
There is an old story that tells of a man... Read More
I'm a pretty competitive guy, though I try to keep... Read More
Huh? You're probably wondering when this article was written, and... Read More
Fulfilling your dreams will remain a mirage if you simply... Read More
On June 3rd, 1948, a blast rocked the Black Hills... Read More
Self-confidence is your assessment of your own self-worth. It plays... Read More
What you believe in the inside, to a large extent... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
"I was washing my breakfast dishes one morning when it... Read More
The other night I was watching a documentary on that... Read More
There is a reason I never gave up. A reason... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24,... Read More
The news came as a shock to us all. He... Read More
Nowadays the majority of people live in very large cities.... Read More
Continued...After that I stayed with him still and when he... Read More
One of my long time best friends called me the... Read More
Have you ever thought? What inspires YOU? What is it... Read More
You know kids, one of the things I've learned by... Read More
As I write this Southern California has just ended its... Read More
Notes are very powerful. They express your thanks, encouragement, sympathy,... Read More
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More
When was the last time you felt you were enough... Read More
It was 1:30 A.M. on Friday, December 6, 1991. Patrolman... Read More
Silence means no voice input of any sort. What happens... Read More
Over the years I've been teaching kids about a simple... Read More
"All that you desire or require is already on your... Read More
I call myself semi-retired. I work at a job that... Read More
This is the eighth article in our "True Power" series.... Read More
Growing up, as a child of the 60's, peace, love... Read More
Many of us seek consolation in the words of Frank... Read More
All of us are resistant to change, whether it's in... Read More
Inspirational |