Rightful Owner

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003

I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies.

I want to send the photos to him so his family can have them. I have an old address of his parents. However, I don't want to send them by post with my address on the back of the envelope because I do not want any contact from him or his parents, nor for them to know where I live or work.

I'm happily married and desire no further contact from him. If I send the pictures without a return address and they no longer live there, the pictures will be lost forever. It's important for me that his family have these photos. Please help.

Pamela

Pamela, people love a mystery. If you send the photos anonymously, it may well induce someone to play private investigator.

It could also set off a series of unintended effects. Imagine your ex-boyfriend is recently divorced. The arrival of the photos will seem cosmic and spiritual. He'll think divine forces are drawing you back to him. Or if he has not been in touch with his parents, they may think the prodigal son is returning. Or they may even fear he's been kidnapped for ransom.

You cannot control other people's reactions, but you can minimize their effect on you, especially if you follow a straightforward course.

Send a note with the photos to the parents. Explain to them what you explained to us. Mention that now you are married, you realize the importance of keeping family photos in the family. Use the address of a third party, such as that of a friend in a different city or country, and mention the return address is that of another.

Tamara

An Open Space

I am 48, attractive, active, the mother of a teenage boy and a small business owner. I feel I am responsible, have integrity and am fun to be with.

The problem is I have never met, though I have been married twice, the man who was meant to be my partner. I have settled each time out of loneliness. I tried to make it work each time as best I could, and really, if I had seen the effort being given in return, would have made a go of it.

But each time it was evident they were not what I hoped for, and yes, the responsibility to become involved was mine. Now I see clearly what I lacked and will never settle again. It just doesn't work! But now I believe I will never find it.

I am at an age where men want younger women, and I have truly never met someone I could totally respect. It is a void, no matter how busy or productive I am, I never stop feeling. How can someone rid themselves of this empty feeling? And please do not say be busy and make yourself happy. I do that and it is not working.

Evette

Evette, we cannot make the empty space in your life go away. The space is there for a reason, and you have twice learned it cannot be filled by just anyone. That space is there for the person who belongs there. That is where that person fits.

If you take your son fishing, you cannot guarantee he will catch a fish. But it could happen. He has put himself in the way of catching fish. It is possible.

If you are busy in the sense of busywork, you cannot expect anything to happen. But if you are busy in the sense of living, growing and enlarging yourself, you have put yourself in the way of this happening for you.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

---

Top 10 Things That Make Life Worthwhile

Below are some of the things that, over the years,... Read More

Three Bricklayers

The story of the three bricklayers has been around for... Read More

Are You Taking Responsibility?

It is time to take responsibility for our actions and... Read More

Commitment To The Journey

I have been a business owner for about a minute.... Read More

Take Action and Make a Better World

Albert Einstein is quoted as having said, "the world is... Read More

The Eyes of the Clown

There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I... Read More

Universal Thought Systems Language Part 2

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

Lesson Learned

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9,... Read More

Taking the Leap of Faith

So often we stop and look at our lives and... Read More

Contemptable Temptation

Let's look at the lesson we should all pay attention... Read More

You Are The One, There is No One Else

At the time I created my web site, I was... Read More

Game-Set-Match

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21,... Read More

Reality Check

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 16,... Read More

A Little Blessing Changes Everything

"We're on a one-game winning streak!" That's what freshman Dawan... Read More

5 Simple Tips For A Better Life

How can we enjoy a better lifestyle?'Easy' I hear you... Read More

Why My Wife Is My Hero

My name is Chas Brothers. Many of you know me... Read More

Harsh Reality

Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 25,... Read More

Make Life Work: Repair the Relationship with Yourself

What areas of your life are working well? Career? Finances?Relationships?... Read More

Its Not My Job to Free Tibet

I hate saying that. It feels so very wrong. It's... Read More

How to Guarantee a GREAT Day Every Day!

I have a standing interview every Monday morning on a... Read More

Misery Can Eat You Alive

This is a true story about a woman I worked... Read More

Winning the Thought Battle

If you have read my articles or heard me speak,... Read More

Three Amigos

I feel rather foolish writing this letter, but I need... Read More

Discover The Magic Of Doing What You Love

Do what you love to do and give it your... Read More

Arranging Stepping-Stones

The greatest achievements were obtained by those who took one... Read More

Universal Thought System Language Keywords

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

Go Ahead... Journal! (Taking Time To Record My Souls Journey With God)

Imagine sitting down in a relaxed setting -- a setting... Read More

Powerful Caretakers - Taking Good Care of Ourselves First

Our community consists of powerful caretakers. We do a great... Read More

Care And Maintenance Of The Human Hard Drive

The human brain is very much like a hard drive.... Read More

What To Do When You Dont Know What To Do

It is often difficult to know exactly what to do.... Read More

Anything That?s Worth Doing, Is Worth Doing Poorly

Yes you got it. You read it correctly. We're not... Read More

Resistance to Change

All of us are resistant to change, whether it's in... Read More

Generosity Is The Seed Of Wealth

Generosity, which includes the free, no strings-attached sharing of resources,... Read More