Teachers Pet

Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 20, 2003

I am 32 and a mom with two children. I've pretty much been single for two years. My problem is I found myself falling for my son's teacher. I never saw a ring on his finger, so last school year I made every attempt to visit my son's school as often as I could.

Eventually I took the chicken's way out and e-mailed this man and told him how I felt. He replied that he was flattered, we can remain friends, and he is my child's teacher. I e-mailed back saying I didn't know what I was doing and was not sure how uncomfortable things would be. He said it would be fine, no feelings hurt.

Once again he is teaching my child, and I still feel the same way. He is such a great man, so dedicated to the kids in his class. He is the man I want to get to know better. I have only seen him once this school year, but we often talk on the phone, though always about my son.

We get along so well and laugh like it is natural. Whether he is just being nice, I don't know. After this year he will no longer be my child's teacher. Is there any way for me to find out if he'd like to continue talking? I'm hoping for more. I've been hurt in the past, but with him it just feels so different, so right.

Anya

Anya, if you expect to have the right to say no and you want that listened to and respected, then you have to know he has the same right. He said no. When you get a no, you move on.

If your lottery ticket is one number off, it doesn't matter. As much as you would like it to be a winner, the numbers don't match and you don't have the winning ticket. There is no sense dwelling on it. Badgering him will make it less likely he will want to talk with you at all.

There is one great positive in this. You have come in contact with a good man with the characteristics you've been looking for. He has given you a model for what you want. You want a man who makes you feel like this one.

This teacher is teaching you a lesson. He has been patient with you. Show him that you have learned. As Thomas Carruthers said, "A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary."

Wayne & Tamara

Building Amenities

To begin with, I'm 60 years of age. My male friend is younger, but we knew each other from our school days. It's one of those things. We always liked each other's style and wanted to get next to each other. Sex is wonderful, but he has another woman he has relations with, and we all live in the same building.

I tried to stop our little fling, but he was sad and I was sad so we're back together. However, I can't deal with the other woman. I don't want to be by myself. I want a man, and of course he is the one I want. Am I being foolish or what?

Jorie

Jorie, you want him to stop seeing the other woman, but she may want you to do the same. You are playing a waiting game trying to outlast each other.

You can't accept that you have an unfaithful male, but you can't battle every woman willing to have sex with him. The one person you can affect is him. You can do that by withdrawing your affections.

If he really likes your style and wants to be next to you, he can make that choice. If he doesn't, you will stop wasting time on the wrong man for you. You have the power to cut his sex life in half.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

---

Entrepreneur and Mom

When I was 12 years old, I had surgery with... Read More

The Art of Giving

In the pursuit of the life we dream of, this... Read More

Learn From Failure and Confirm with Success

Both failure and success are good... if you know what... Read More

How To Develop A Grateful Mind (The Best Medicine)

There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More

Revenge in the End is Bitter Sweet

We ALL think or have thought about it at one... Read More

Mirror, Mirror -- What Do I See?

"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile... Read More

Ways To Beat The Blues

1. Sit back and enjoy (or at least tolerate) the... Read More

Smile! Banish Your Fear

Changing our physiology is one of the best ways to... Read More

Musicians Survival was Truly a Miracle: Singer Songwriter Fights for his Life

Every morning when singer-songwriter Michael Alan looks into the mirror... Read More

Nurture Your Heart

Pregnant with her first child, Jill could barely contain her... Read More

Rocking The Boat

I work in a factory, and we have supervisors who... Read More

No Problem!

Thanks to Walt Disney's "The Lion King", children the world... Read More

Navigating The Squeeze

Today more than ever before, we are witnessing a crises... Read More

Duplicity

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 26,... Read More

The Brilliant You, Unreleased!

You're a remarkable person. But, you knew that already. Still,... Read More

A Feline Example On Courage

Fangs. Killer claws. Hisses, grrrs...and later, yelps. Who is not... Read More

A Perspective on Life!

All of our lives we always seem to direct our... Read More

Courage That Changes Your Life

"The scars you acquire while exercising courage will never make... Read More

Confidence Building Steps That Work Like Crazy!

Self-confidence is your assessment of your own self-worth. It plays... Read More

Forcing Inspiration

Most people, when they have to complete a creative endeavour,... Read More

Brilliant Autumn: Reaping a Bounteous Harvest

"But if in your thought you must measure time into... Read More

Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window

Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The... Read More

How I Made $10,000 In One Day By Swimming Underwater!

"Without health, life is not life; it is only a... Read More

Lifestyle Changes ? A Conscious Choice!

Are you ready for a change? Is it time for... Read More

Misplaced Allegiance

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 23,... Read More

The Power of Inner SELF

I am sharing one of the great insights.The fear that... Read More

Trust the Lord and Go to The Hole

This is my new favorite quote. Now to understand it... Read More

$12 And 90 Minutes To Change Your Life

Have you ever listened to self hypnosis tapes? Or listened... Read More

Just Let ?Em Go!

I remember when I was just a little guy probably... Read More

Time to Change the World!

Here's something you can do each day that will REALLY... Read More

Lessons about Life in an Unexpected Place

Did you ever receive a gift in an unexpected place?I... Read More

Re-Developing Your Vision

One of the most important things we can do for... Read More

The Nature of Anger

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More