Fickle Fates

Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 19, 2004

I am currently involved in a wonderful year-long relationship with a man I've known for ten years. We dated briefly all those years ago, but I wound up marrying someone else. To make a long story short, I should have listened to the fates back then.

Recently I was contacted by another man I dated briefly right after high school. Our relationship ended in a gross misunderstanding. I thought I was getting signals from him to get lost, so I did. I was very hurt, and I have thought about him many times over the years. I found out in a recent meeting that I got the wrong signals and he has always been in love with me.

During this meeting the chemistry was very strong, but I would do nothing to betray my current boyfriend. You should also know I moved several times during that time period, and I believe he was looking for me but could not find me.

My problem is making a decision. I've compared the two, and I keep coming up with a true feeling of torn. I've done the pros and cons paperwork only to find each has the same amount of qualities I love. If I let one go, I will most likely spend my life wondering. One is wine and roses, the other is picnics and wildflowers?and I like both.

Penelope

Penelope, in ancient Greece people listened to the fates by going to the temple of Apollo at Delphi, and asking the Delphic oracle for advice. The oracle would inhale the vapors from a cavern in the temple, enter a trance, then make a prophecy.

The most famous prophecy was to King Croesus, who asked if he should attack the Persians. The oracle ambiguously said, "If Croesus attacks the Persians, he will destroy a great empire." Croesus thought this was favorable advice, but when he attacked, the great empire he destroyed was his own.

Last year some scientists published a paper suggesting the vapor in the cavern at Delphi was ethylene, a compound which produces the same effect as "huffing," sniffing glue or paint thinner. In your case, we suspect the fates have been both speaking in riddles and sniffing glue.

Your feelings for neither man are strong enough that you could marry one without regret. Marry no one until you feel love without doubt.

Wayne & Tamara

Second Time Around

I am a 22-year-old female having a ridiculous problem getting over the fact my fiance was married before. We recently became engaged, and now the issue has become even more magnified for me. It upsets me to the point I'm afraid I might just tell him to forget the whole thing.

Aside from this, he is a really great guy and we get along terrifically. But I cannot get over the fact I am not the first person he's felt this way about. It cheapens it for me. When I remember he has already spit out vows for someone else, has already had wedding night sex, has already gone on a honeymoon, I don't feel special.

When we are at his mother's apartment, which used to be his apartment with his wife, I get filled with anger and start being mean to him. This is totally unfair. Even typing this makes me feel like a jackass, but I seriously can't help it.

Jackie

Jackie, a song made popular by Kathy Mattea says, "You've got to sing like you don't need the money, Love like you'll never get hurt. You've got to dance like nobody's watching?" Everything, according to the song, must come straight from the heart without reservation.

You have a reservation about your fiance, and it is something he can never change. You are latching on to his past to stop something you don't wish to occur. We would not dismiss your reservations. Neither should you.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

---

Living on Purpose: One Rock at a Time

I just got back from Colorado where I spent a... Read More

Have You Voted Today

Huh? You're probably wondering when this article was written, and... Read More

A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk

A key fault I have, and I can only talk... Read More

Transform Old Grumpy

This is a true story. A woman had Snow White... Read More

Contemptable Temptation

Let's look at the lesson we should all pay attention... Read More

A Cat In The Hand Is Worth Two Birds In The Bush!

I bought this computer just over two years ago with... Read More

Top 20 Love Quotations

"In real love you want the other person's good. In... Read More

Your True Talent Will Set You Free

When you get home from work, do you feel enriched,... Read More

Michael Vick is Average

Michael Vick can do wonders on a football field, but... Read More

Reclaiming Our Resilient Spirit

Our spirits are taking a beating. The daily barrage of... Read More

Encouragement--Heart At Work

Encouragement can have a very powerful effect on bosses and... Read More

Top 15 Inspirational Quotations

Get inspired and lift your spirits with these positive quotations... Read More

Look Out Any Window

Over my extended Thanksgiving weekend I took some time to... Read More

Anamcara - Being Forever Enough

When was the last time you felt you were enough... Read More

The 5 Fortunes Within

What could be nearer to us than our own selves.... Read More

Money or Faith?

I've been to 64-countries, and yes money comes in handy,... Read More

Eradicating The Heart of Poverty

Poverty can sometimes only be a state of mind, based... Read More

Hitler and the Tsunami

In Catholic school the nuns used to tell us that... Read More

Courage That Changes Your Life

"The scars you acquire while exercising courage will never make... Read More

Virtual Chocolate

A second on your lips forever on your hips never... Read More

Dolphin Figurines evoke images of wild dolphins: How Do Dolphins Communicate?

Researchers are seeking to identify how dolphins communicate. Unfortunately it... Read More

Blessings for the Soul

In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. There is... Read More

Perception

My friend Donald said to me one evening, "this is... Read More

Being Fruitful

Over the years I've learned to challenge my audiences to... Read More

Re-Define Realistic: True Power Series

This is the eighth article in our "True Power" series.... Read More

Garbage In Its Place

There is nothing worse than seeing garbage blowing down the... Read More

Happy Ending

I'm writing to you with a completely shattered heart. I've... Read More

The Most Famous Line I Never Wrote

There is one line that can dramatically impact your life... Read More

Entrepreneur and Mom

When I was 12 years old, I had surgery with... Read More

You Reap What You Sow

There is an old principle: You reap what you sow.... Read More

What is My Life Purpose?

Why am I here?If you haven't already asked this question,... Read More

Whats Simple?

If you walk up to a stranger in the grocery... Read More

Life After Death: The Story of the Green Donkey

This is the true story of what Deepak Chopra would... Read More