How To Be Secure In An Insecure World

Most of us believe that our happiness and security are dependent upon our relationships, work, income and the external events that take place in our lives. When things are going well there is a sense of well-being and safety. We sleep well at night, wake up feeling refreshed and have the sense that the world can be managed - that we are in control. However, this kind of security is fleeting. As people and events are constantly changing, we are often edgy about what's coming down the road.

We then spend our time and energy trying to manage and control ourselves and others. This craze to control takes many forms. It produces anxiety that never seems to dissolve and turns into addictions, compulsions, catastrophic thinking. It leads to difficult, unhappy relationships based upon power struggles.

No matter how much we attempt to strategize and organize, life itself often has its own plans and ideas. When we cannot accept this, our life then soon becomes an endless struggle, rather than a source of joy. We become unable to go with the turn of the tide that life's changes brings and discover the new momentum that may be coming our way.

Most of the time it is fear that stops us. We long to live in the known, predict what will happen, to be able to respond in familiar ways. What we seek what is actually a false security, based upon keeping everything the same. But as the very nature of life is change, sooner or later our efforts must always fail.

The more we cling to what has been, the more real security eludes us. True security, the ability to live without fear, comes from being in touch with and trusting the one within who

The One Who Knows

Deep within each of us, there is a knowing and resilient part of ourselves who is able to respond full, know what to do when the moment arises and is at ease and filled with good will. This part of ourselves is filled with balance and creativity. As we contact this aspect of ourselves, bring it to light, give it time and attention, we become less affected by external circumstances and our life takes a completely different turn.

There is a process involved in connecting with and nurturing this part of ourselves, steps to take. These steps are directed to letting of that which is in the way. We start by un-learning some of what we've based our lives upon. Different individuals will resonate to different parts of the process. That is fine. Each step when done completely will take a person where they need to be.

Here are some basic, initial steps and principles in this wonderful journey to the center of a life of balance and trust.

A) Returning Home ?

To begin, rather than racing forward, we stop and turn around. Some call this returning to our original nature. We describe this step as Returning Home.

Rather than continue our frantic search for pleasure, wealth, love, well being in the external world, we return home to ourselves. We take back our attention and return it to who, what and where we are at this very moment. As we do this a centeredness, balance and simplicity takes the place of the upheaval we live with most of the time.

This step is based upon the principle that difficulties we encounter do not arise from that which is going on outside of us, but from the way we react and respond. As we return home and become aware, our reactivity lessens and natural balance and wisdom takes its place.

Returning home can include times of walking, meditation, centering, focussing, journalling. All of these have the common denominator of placing our attention within. This not only restores our energy, but significantly reduces the endless spin of catastrophic thinking most of us engage in. As we do this we notice it is the catastrophic thinking itself that makes us uneasy, not the actual events right before us now.

B)Letting Go Of False Expectations

Our fear of life and need to control is often fuelled by the disappointments we have suffered. Over and over we try to make things work out according to our desires. We may not see that many of these dashed expectations and desires, are simply fantasies, dreams, hopes and demands we've placed upon others. When our personal wishes are not fulfilled, resentment and fear develop. Often we do not see that our wishes may have little to do with what is real ? or what is beneficial for ourselves or others.

As we release our expectations, we become able to see and accept the world as it is and find a new way of living in it. We find who we are, where we belong and where our true security lay. Many then become amazed at how light, joyous and at ease they feel - and at the abundance of beauty and goodness that has always been available to them, day by day. We also begin to see that -

"The world is a womb, not a tomb, a place where everything is engendered and brought to life." Henry Miller

cc/Dr Shoshanna/2005

Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, http://www.brendashoshanna.com, is author of LIVING BY ZEN, (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life), http://www.livingbyzen.com. A psychologist, long term Zen practitioner, speaker and workshop leader she offers talks and workshops on finding our inner security and fulfillment. Dr. Shoshanna also speaks on all aspects of relationships and living life to the brim. She is the author of ZEN MIRACLES (Finding Peace In An Insane World, Wiley, and ZEN AND THE ART OF FALLING IN LOVE, (Simon and Schuster). She is the relationship on i.village and can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com, (212) 288-0028.

---

Tomorrow May be Too Late

A high school senior, looking forward to going to college,... Read More

Keeping Your Attitude Up When Circumstances Are Down

Everyone knows that a positive attitude is key to the... Read More

How Would YOU React To Tragedy Like This?

The true story I'm about to share will have a... Read More

Anam Cara - Going Beyond The Good

In Corrogue I receive a gift of love.I awake to... Read More

Basic Buddhism - Doing What is Right

I find of particular interest in the Eastern Religions many... Read More

Letting Go and Letting Be

In Corrogue it is frosty.The earth is hard and unyielding.... Read More

Body Calling: Eye Sight Cured Naturally

Lorenzo C. an inspiring young teenager who fell to the... Read More

Two Choices That can Make Next Year The Best Year of Your Life

What if there were just two choices you could make... Read More

What To Do When You Dont Know What To Do

It is often difficult to know exactly what to do.... Read More

Discovering The Art of Bending Your Mindset And Manifesting Your Multiple Intelligences

Discovering the Art of Bending Your Mindset and Manifesting your... Read More

Overcoming Addiction

Dear Candace,I am having trouble letting go of an over... Read More

Anam Cara - Losing your Religion

I am sitting before a window of morning light "losing... Read More

5 Things That Americans Can Do To Remember Reviving, Surviving and Thriving in the Wake of Sept 11

For those people who lost friends and loved ones... Read More

Dreams Keep Us Going

The eyes are the portals of the inner self; the... Read More

Re-Define Realistic: True Power Series

This is the eighth article in our "True Power" series.... Read More

Inspired For Women

One man can make a difference. I've been saying this... Read More

Being Relatable in Todays World as a Christian

There are reasons we cross paths with those that we... Read More

Keep on Keeping on!

Whenever we are working on our dreams we are going... Read More

Anamchara - Living a Meaningful Life

At some stage of living your life you will ask... Read More

Synchronicity

It is hard to capture the synchronicity of this next... Read More

Believe in Yourself!

A near middle-aged man in one of my last workshops... Read More

Weapons of Mass Distraction

Anything that draws one away from the business of living... Read More

Life is a Mystery...or is it?

Being the last of three daughters, I was a suprise... Read More

Impaired Judgment

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 23,... Read More

One of Life´s Great Lessons ? Learn to be Thankful for What You Already Have

(excerpted from the New Jim Rohn Weekend Event DVD/CD series)Is... Read More

Recipe for Success

"Desire is a tremendous force, and must be directed in... Read More

Attaining Financial Freedom

Financial freedom is not about having enough money to spend... Read More

Why You Are Special and Why Does It Matter

Why 'you are special'?Why and how does it matter?Things you... Read More

Good-Bye Yesterday, Hello Today

Many of us are unable to move forward with our... Read More

The Amazing Power of the Human Will

The human will is the most incredible thing. I believe... Read More

The Interactive Holodeck is For Real

[Channelled]'Interact,' is a common word that most of you are... Read More

Whose Decision

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 5,... Read More

Misplaced Allegiance

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 23,... Read More