Honesty

Those who pride themselves on their honesty should also concern themselves with this principle: The effectiveness of honesty depends on a person's willingness to face the truth, which may conflict with this person's desires and provoke denial.

In such a case, how can one promote this willingness, despite this conflict? The answer to this question could prove useful to anyone who seeks to be effectively honest with people in denial. Ultimately, it could benefit these people, whose denial is contrary to their best interest. I go on the assumption that truth, or the conformity of thought to reality, is the sine qua non of vital efficacy. Health, pleasure, successful careers, and harmonious relationships require that we know the needs and capabilities of our nature, and the workings of the world. The absence of this knowledge leads to accidents, illness, suffering, failure, and death. Therefore, the first object of our desires should be truth, or the knowledge of ourselves and the world around us. Why then are people often unwilling to face it?

I believe there are two reasons for this unwillingness. Firstly, the desire to know the truth, which originates in the desire to live happily, spontaneously degenerates into the desire to be right, to avoid the insecurity and shame associated with error and ignorance, and also to avoid the effort to learn. Thus fear, pride, and laziness are obstacles to the pursuit of truth and happiness. People are unlikely to admit they are wrong when they are, unless they possess courage and humility. Whoever takes their good to heart should help them develop these virtues.

Secondly, the truth may be known from experience about a happy way of life. The desire to know the truth then turns into the desire to see the truth last. Mental inertia becomes the law, proportional to the force of attraction exerted on the mind by this happy way of life. Any upheaval that breaks the status quo is denied: "I cannot believe it; this cannot be happening." Reality is deemed unreal because it no longer tallies with the desired truth. Denial can therefore be regarded as a deviant process that conforms facts to ideas, instead of the opposite. Reason is overthrown and emotions reign, as one strives to prove reality wrong to spare oneself the loss of a happy way of life and the pursuit of another, this loss and this pursuit being associated with grief, strain, and doubt, or even despair.

To help a person acknowledge an undesired truth about a radical change in reality, one has to couple honesty with wisdom to heighten this person's awareness of the human capacity for adaptation. This capacity is best illustrated by the example of people who have suffered a terrible misfortune and progressively discovered a new outlook and a new happiness, more enlightened and satisfying than the old ones. In addition, one has to stimulate the will of this person, who is left with a formidable challenge: to start her or his life over. Lastly, this heightened awareness and this stimulated will may weaken at times, calling for reinforcement. All in all, against the unwillingness to face the truth, the effectiveness of honesty is always difficult and uncertain.

Laurent Grenier's writing career spans over twenty years. During this time he has broadened and deepened his worldview, by dint of much reflection and study, and in the end has crafted "A Reason for Living," his best work to date.

Official web site: http://laurentgrenier.com/ARFL.html

---

Anamcara - Being Forever Enough

When was the last time you felt you were enough... Read More

What Does it Take to Make Life Better?

What does it take for you to pay attention?You've probably... Read More

The Nature of Anger

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

7 Keys for Joyful Living!

Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in... Read More

8 Ways to Get Your Healthy Groove On

You've heard the saying, "You are what you eat." I... Read More

How Would YOU React To Tragedy Like This?

The true story I'm about to share will have a... Read More

A Time To Awake

What has become of your fondest dreams?If you were guaranteed... Read More

How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship with These Seven Goal Setting Tools

Goal Setting and Relationships?That is not as weird as it... Read More

Why Integrity!

There is much said in the word "integrity"! According to... Read More

Trusting Yourself and Others

How come, as women, we always second-guess ourselves? Are we... Read More

The Red Ribbon

Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. First place. The best.... Read More

I.Q. You Q. He, She, or It Qs.

I have, in recent years, come to believe that IQ... Read More

Everyone Has Been Hurt... Part 4

Continued...After that I stayed with him still and when he... Read More

Get On with Your LIfe

You've lost your job, that's all you know, and you... Read More

TIES that BIND

I have no idea how it started or who launched... Read More

My Mothers Garden

I love to talk about Purposeful Living with others and... Read More

The Inspiration Factor

The first thing that an aspiring leader must realize is... Read More

The Women At The Cross (Reflections On The Death And Resurrection Of Jesus)

The women at the cross. Have you ever thought about... Read More

Why Does it Take So Long to Slow Down

Why do we wait so long, before we start thinking... Read More

Energy Work Basics Part 4: Imagine!

Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge".Did you know... Read More

As A Caterpillar

"Happiness can be as elusive as a fluttering butterlfy but... Read More

Who is My Mother?

Text: Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3: 31-35, Luke 8:19Mother's Day has... Read More

Adversity to Victory

The following is a true story about a young friend... Read More

Who Is Wallace Wattles and Why Is He One of My Mentors and Heroes?

Who is Wallace Wattles? Wallace D. Wattles died over 90... Read More

Its Not Always About the Benjamins, Baby

Often when I receive emails from this list with folks,... Read More

Inspiration: Some Things Ive Noticed Along the Way So Far

Let's file this one under the heading of random musings... Read More

The Amazing Destructive Power of Tradition

After more than thirty years of studying the Bible I... Read More

Eight Choices You Can Make Today that Will Change Your Life Forever

The direction of our lives is determined by the choices... Read More

Lewis And Clark Pay Attention

As I write this Southern California has just ended its... Read More

Consulting Your Soul

Recently I approached a traffic light where a man stood... Read More

The Secret Of Lasting Personal Change

Why do so many of us end up frustrated when... Read More

Abundance Is A Life Style

Abundance is a life style, a way of living your... Read More

Discover Your Passion

What are you passionate about? We didn't ask if you... Read More