Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's face it; there is little that has been derided more than Viagra. On the talk shows, it has been the butt of more jokes than Michael Jackson and Saddam Hussein combined. For example:
(OK, OK. I admit I was going to share an example or two, but I couldn't find any clean enough to pass my censor's well-trained eyes.)
Of course, if you are not laughing yet from the jokes you could imagine I might have told, it may be because you are so fed up of receiving offers for Viagra in your email inbox, right up there with the prospect of enhancing body parts you didn't even know you owned. In fact, you may even be convinced that spam was invented just to deliver the Viagra industry's message to your personal desktop.
Can anything good come from Viagra?
As a matter of fact, yes. Scientists have actually found a benefit from Viagra (No, I am not talking about experimenting in their labs.) Apparently Viagra is good for the environment.
It took a lot of work and several failed attempts to reach this conclusion. First, the scientists tried to use Viagra as an additive to revive lakes that were dying from acid rain. Unfortunately, it raised the lake's body temperature and fried the fish.
Then they tried using Viagra to replace polluting dry cleaner chemicals, but clothes came back too rigid to wear: "Hey, how come my fleece isn't soft anymore?" "I thought I told you not to starch my collars." "Ouch!"
The researchers tried feeding Viagra to swine, cattle, and chickens, hoping to replace feed sources that now consume vast areas of land. However, the farm animals wouldn't touch the stuff. The cockroaches, however, found it energizing, and before long there were very few barns left.
Next they decided to see if Viagra could be used as a low-polluting fuel to heat homes in the winter. That option looked promising ... until airplanes started hitting the rising chimney stacks. Oops.
Then the scientists tried offering Viagra to all the taxi drivers who insisted on idling their polluting engines between fares. Unfortunately, it seems that most cab drivers preferred idling to anything Viagra could do for them (which may explain the way they drive.)
Finally, the researchers have discovered that Viagra can save endangered species. This is no joke ? check the wire services on the Internet. In fact, a paper published recently by researchers at the University of Alaska and the University of New South Wales reveals that the trade in exotic body parts used as aphrodisiacs has fallen dramatically since Viagra hit the market.
Rhinos love this, because poachers had made them almost extinct, killing them for the horn, so sought-after by the lovelorn, and leaving the carcass behind. Reindeer feel more secure about their antlers now, too, since the velvet coverings are in less demand. And you may already have noticed fewer seals walking around town with their legs crossed, as the price for their private parts has fallen 72 percent.
Others who are thrilled about this great scientific discovery include sea horses, pipefish, elk and the ever beloved sea cucumber. I am still not sure whether that last one is a joke.
So, is Viagra the butt of countless jokes or the scourge of the Internet? If you look for silver linings, it is neither. It is the savior of endangered species. Now that I've helped clear that up for you, what else do you deride? What else upsets you? Can you find a silver lining? I'm sure you can. If Viagra is a good thing, can there be anything bad?
About The Author
David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy, author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html. Visit him at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com.
There are many ways to be original these days. But... Read More
IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned... Read More
In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just... Read More
Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in... Read More
Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never... Read More
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More
Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More
I just turned on the news a minute ago and... Read More
Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the... Read More
Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the... Read More
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong,... Read More
"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar... Read More
Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much... Read More
He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More
Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around... Read More
Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More
... Read More
One of the great benefits of belonging to a health... Read More
Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come... Read More
Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's... Read More
Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some... Read More
LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our... Read More
The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time... Read More
I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More
Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a... Read More
Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online... Read More
Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy... Read More
Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in... Read More
A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We... Read More
If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must... Read More
We... Read More
If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you... Read More
IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned... Read More
Just recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his... Read More
Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea... Read More
Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the... Read More
I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little... Read More
One of the great benefits of belonging to a health... Read More
This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand)... Read More
This column is long overdue. To put it in library... Read More
I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More
Space exploration came a long way since I was the... Read More
Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few... Read More
As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves... Read More
Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions.... Read More
... Read More
Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my... Read More
This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked... Read More
How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More
I... Read More
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time... Read More
A couple of days ago I had to go to... Read More
Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much... Read More
We... Read More
NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at... Read More
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More
A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We... Read More
Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online... Read More
I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More
While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of... Read More
Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in... Read More
Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around... Read More
We all know the Internet is a great tool for... Read More
Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More
Humor & Entertainment |