Mexican Living: Somethings Got to be Done!

Mexico needs to do something about the behavior of Gringos who come to their country who are hell-bent on acting out the Ugly American Syndrome stereotype no matter what.

I concluded this after an early morning shopping trip with the wife to the local Supermarket. There I saw this 70-year-old hippie, with his gun moll, cussing up one aisle and down the other looking for liquor. Doesn't that just figure? He ended his search with a screeching revelation,

"They don't even have beer here for Christ's sake!"

Why do Americans always want to attribute something mundane and worldly to Christ and for His sake? I mean, really, is it for Christ's sake that this early morning lush was searching so diligently for some booze? Anyway.

So, off he marched after screaming loudly enough to wake the dead.

I have some ideas that Mexico could do to stem the ever-increasing tide of displays of the Ugly American Syndrome:

First off, Mexico could pass a stupid tax. Americans who insist on acting like horses' butts in Mexico would be charged $50,000 pesos for each incident. I think this is a grand idea for Americans acting stupid in America too! What do you think of that? This money could be used to improve the infrastructure of the Colonial towns (like where we live!). But, after the tenth commission of a stupid act (which will take about 2 days), Americans would be deported immediately and without recourse.

Second, Mexico could enact a drunken bum or boozehound tax. There would be an allowance of three times you could appear in public WITHOUT falling down before you they would start taxing you. This would be particularly profitable in Puerto Vallarta where American drink to excess day and night.

We were in a little place in Puerto Vallarta once for breakfast when this couple came in and had three rounds of beer before their scrambled eggs and hotcakes came. We were told (because we asked the manager) that this goes on all the time. Americans are constantly drunker than skunks and are falling down all the time.

We saw more 75-year-old plus men stumbling around town like drunken sailors trying to pick up young coeds. Mexico could make a killing in Puerto Vallarta and no doubt the other resort towns as well.

The highest tax would be for each incident of The Ugly American Syndrome. This means that, each time you do the following, the Mexican government will charge you a tax of $150,000 pesos:

1. Insisting on paying for something with dollars because you are too lazy (or stupid) to get them changed into pesos. This would really be a moneymaker for the Mexicans since Americans do this routinely.

2. Telling the waiter who brought you EXACTLY what you ordered that you wanted a REAL taco.

3. Shouting English at a Mexican vendor or salesclerk as though will miraculously change them into a bilingual person.

4. Cutting your finger and toenails while in public. (This not only will get you taxed but a good slapping as well.)

5. Loudness or obnoxious behavior that is so typical of Americans when they come to another country. For example, statements like,

"Gee are all Mexican women this fat?"

"It sure is filthy here."

"Don't they serve real beer?"

"These Mexican houses don't suit our American tastes."

"Don't you know how corrupt your government is?"

And so on!

There is more, much more, and the Mexican government would have to publish a handbook with hundreds of examples of the Ugly American Syndrome to be fair to the visiting or expatriating American. Perhaps they could use Rick Steves' Europe Archives: Ugly American Sightings as a template for their handbook for Ugly Americans!

Check it out at: http://www.ricksteves.com/graffiti/arch ives/ugly.html

Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country, can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241

---

Murder Solved From The Grave

I am very interested in reading about ghostly stories and... Read More

Ludlow Festival

His plays and adaptations have been performed in many countries... Read More

The Western Cowboy

In the State of Texas the Western Cowboy can be... Read More

The Monsters Mother

Somewhere in the world, every eight seconds, a mother is... Read More

What Sets Chinese Painting Apart From Western Painting

Because of different instruments, materials and cultural background, Chinese paintings... Read More

The Contingencies of Despair: How Existentialists Survive

~ Dread is dizziness unto freedom-freedom that gazes down into... Read More

Celtic Jewelry: Ancient Symbolism in Popular Fashion

The mysterious and the mystical have always had the power... Read More

A Billion Cheers At 40: Lets Celebrate Mummy Jessy

Ooh the depth of literary riches, how terrific they are!... Read More

Family, Incest, and Law

Family Values in Ancient Times:Many people of the present make... Read More

What About Those Pyramids?

'Mr. Rhodes aspired to be the creator of one of... Read More

10 Feng Shui Tips for a Better Life

Ever walked into a house that felt like home? Ever... Read More

Body Jewelry and Todays Stars

Body jewelry and body piercing practices have been observed by... Read More

Copper Keels and Red Ochre

Copper Keels:Nature provides varying resources in different parts of the... Read More

Hip-hop Jewelry and Todays Stars

Watch any of the major movie, television, and music award... Read More

Druidic University

MEGALITHIIC POWER PLANTS:Druidic University:Long before there was a Rome or... Read More

Mexican Living: The Unexplained

The inexplicable bothers me. It always has. You know, the... Read More

Amaterasu The Goddess of the Sun

Amaterasu is a shining example of how adversity can help... Read More

The Sixties

A decade that stands out above the rest of our... Read More

Top 10 Questions about Body Piercing

Body piercing has grown so much in popularity in recent... Read More

Josephine the Merovingian

I cannot emphasize enough the dearth of information, or the... Read More

To Quote or Not to Quote

"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote."... Read More

Merton Abbey Mills Developments

For those who don't know, Merton Abbey Mills is an... Read More

Human Cultural Evolution

If we think about it at this juncture, clearly there... Read More

When Does Man Become God?

Some scientists argue over creation and evolution and they argue... Read More

Heraldry in the Crafts--Why Not Specialize?

I have a small website where I try to sell... Read More

Nelsons Last Words: Kiss Me, Hardy or Kismet, Hardy?

"Kiss me, Hardy" or "Kismet, Hardy"? Both versions are commonly... Read More

Accurate Psychic Advice

Psychic readings can be an invaluable tool for obtaining answers... Read More

Feng Shui and the Year of the Rooster - an Overview

Feng shui involves more than just colors and where you... Read More

The History of Thai Currency ? from Ancient Beads to Modern Baht

The history of Thailand currency traces the evolution of the... Read More

Native American Life After Prophetstown

My name is Luksi Humma, I am Choctaw or, Chahta,... Read More

Mexican Living: Somethings Got to be Done!

Mexico needs to do something about the behavior of Gringos... Read More

The Year of the Rooster

The Rooster is traditionally considered to be a favourable sign.... Read More

Shadows Boxing

Towards the end of Million Dollar Baby the character Scraps,... Read More