What to Do When You Are Alone for the Holidays

Being alone for the holidays is a major challenge for many people. Holidays often conjure images of family, of warmth and the sharing of special time. Loneliness can be overwhelming when you have no one with whom to share holiday time.

Many people, however, miss the point of what holidays are really about and what makes them special. Holidays are not about what you GET ? they are about what you GIVE. Many people are under the misconception that the joy of holidays is about what you receive rather than about what you share. Our hearts get filled with love when we give and share love, rather than from getting love.

This may seem like a paradox. Many people spend their time with others attempting to get love, attention and approval, thinking that this is what makes them feel happy and worthy. But getting attention from others to fill ourselves is like eating chocolate when you are lonely ? it works for the moment but then you need more and more of it. Eventually it becomes an addiction.

What really fills the emptiness is the giving of love. If you are alone over the holidays, the question becomes, "How can I give love in ways that will bring me joy?"

Below are some suggestions for sharing your love and caring over the holidays:

• Gather toys from friends and store donations and bring them to children who would not otherwise have toys. You can find these children through schools, churches and various other organizations.

• Find a battered women's shelter in your area and help to create the holiday there ? preparing food, decorating the tree, and just spending time with them. Last year a friend of mine organized a number of her local markets to donate food over Christmas to the local shelter that housed mothers and their children who had left abusive husbands. She got to know the mothers and children and received great fulfillment in providing them with an abundant Christmas.

• Spend time with old people in nursing homes, especially those who have no family. Spending time caring about another lonely person will go a long way toward taking away your loneliness!

• Volunteer to help with serving food to the needy over Thanksgiving and Christmas. Many churches and other charitable organizations welcome volunteers to help in food lines over the holidays.

• Locate a retreat center near you that has a special event over the holidays and share your time with other people who are also alone for the holidays. Last year a friend of mine, who had just left her husband and was alone for the first time with no family around her, went to a beautiful retreat center on the East Coast. Twenty people gathered there to share Thanksgiving together. There was a wonderful ceremony of gratitude that she said filled her heart, and she enjoyed sharing time with new people.

• Find a church, temple or 12-step group in your area that has special events for singles over the holidays. Go to these events with the intention of sharing your caring with others, which you can do just by being interested in listening to another person. We all love being listened to and understood, and all of us have the capacity to give this to another.

One of my all-time favorite movies is "A Christmas Carol," ? the one starring Alistair Sim. I just love the scene on Christmas morning when Scrooge realizes that no time has passed and he has the opportunity to give. He feels such joy at the prospect of giving, that he can hardly stand it! He dances around and stands on his head and laughs and laughs with the joy of giving! In one night he went from being a miserable old man concerned only with getting, to a man now focused only on giving, and he became a joyful person.

While you might not have money to give, we all have caring to give. You have no idea how much you might enrich your own life as well as another person's life just by giving your time, your attention, your interest, your smile, your understanding. Whatever your life circumstances, you always have the opportunity to give your caring. You will discover that giving your caring to others, especially over the holidays, is a profound way of caring about yourself.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

---

Dress To Impress! Find Your Sexy Halloween Costume And Shake What Your Mamma Gave You

Everyone loves to look and feel good, right? Well, why... Read More

An Easy Gift For Many Occasions

It can be very hard to find that one perfect... Read More

Unique Gift Ideas for the 21st Century

As a personal growth specialist, I like to think I'm... Read More

Youre How Old?!?

"Well, Happy Birthday! How old are you anyway?""Oh, I'm just... Read More

This Mothers Day -- Give The Gift Of Fitness

Do you know a Mom that deserves a special gift... Read More

Make it an Unforgettable Birthday!

The first known birthday celebrations began among the Egyptians with... Read More

Tips For Less Holiday Stress

Holiday Stress? Some Tips For Having LessWe all dream of... Read More

Nicely Designed Pillows As Gifts

Many of us are probably squeezing out our brains to... Read More

Find Great Halloween Costume Ideas! Have The Most Creative Costumes This Year

Usually, the hardest part about Halloween is finding the perfect... Read More

Give Presence Not Presents

Throughout the year we have many gift-giving opportunities to show... Read More

Tis The Season For Love ? and Stress!

The holidays are upon us and for many people this... Read More

Top 50 Christmas Quotations

"Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Heirloom Stories Are A Perfect Gift

Selecting the right gift for a special someone is sometimes... Read More

Nine Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Head To The Office Party

One thing you can count on during the holiday season... Read More

Gift Shopping Tips for Tight Budgets

Have you seen the prices of greeting cards lately? It... Read More

Fathers Day Gift Guide

Fathers Day is the one day of the year when... Read More

2 Inexpensive Halloween Costume Ideas

Did you know that you can make your own Halloween... Read More

Where Have All The Wise Men Gone? Jesus Is Not Acceptable For Christmas!

It's CHRISTmas!Where are the wise men?WOW - The wise men... Read More

Overcoming Loneliness this Christmas

Christmas is one of those times when the social norm... Read More

Creating Your Own Holiday Traditions

I love this time of year -- decorations on the... Read More

Inexpensive Christmas Stocking Stuffer Ideas For Kids

After all the gifts have been purchased and placed under... Read More

The Cheapest Christmas Ever!

Have you ever said "I wish we didn't have to... Read More

Wake Up ? Its Almost Fathers Day

Father's Day is approaching fast. In the USA it falls... Read More

Top 25 Thanksgiving Quotations

"It is therefore recommended ... to set apart Thursday the... Read More

Fathers Day Origins and Inspiration

While mothers have had their special day since 1914, fathers... Read More

The Origins Of Mothers Day

Today Mother's Day or Mothering Sunday is celebrated all over... Read More

Anniversary Gift Ideas Year by Year, the First Nineteen Years

It's impossible to remember what gift is traditional for each... Read More

Mothers Day, Do You Know What Youre Giving The Woman Who Gave You Life?

Mother's Day, Do you know what you're giving the woman... Read More

Create Warm Memories with Holiday Traditions

I remember just a handful of the Christmas presents I... Read More

Mothers Day is coming-Dont Blow It!

Mother's Day is May 8th. And, you do realize all... Read More

Dont Want Another Carpet Sweeper This Year For Christmas?

Unique "Drop-A-Hint" Plan Sends Your Gift Wishes Via E-mailSure, they... Read More

Legends of the Christmas Tree

The Christmas tree is a much loved symbol iinstantly calling... Read More

Dont Want Another Carpet Sweeper This Year For Christmas?

Unique "Drop-A-Hint" Plan Sends Your Gift Wishes Via E-mailSure, they... Read More