Holiday Expectations

As the holidays approach, I find myself wondering how I'm going to accomplish all I expect of myself. I expect to have perfect presents under the tree for an astounding number of people who will be visiting from out of town, besides the usual round of gifts for my children, immediate family, close friends and significant others, such as teachers, school staff, hair dressers, manicurist, etc. Added to the gift buying frenzy are countless trips to the grocery and food specialty stores for the feasts I expect to prepare, again for countless people I am expected to entertain during these holidays.

What's one person to do when it becomes overwhelming and seems there's never going to be enough time, resources or energy to cope? Well, I'm not sure I have the answer. What I'm longing to do is escape to an undisclosed location (me and Dick Cheney) to save my sanity, health and well-being. Naturally, this isn't an option ? I hold the holidays too dear and my daughters have come to expect huge fanfare on these special days. I have set up their expectations of me, just as I have set up the expectations of myself that I might not be able to pull off this year due to an unstable health condition and subsequent lack of mobility I've taken for granted in years past. Mostly, I just want to be able to get it all done, as I have every other year, which is no longer an option. I am left to ponder my upcoming fate with the dread of not performing or of falling short.

I suspect the "expectations" will somehow be met, only because I couldn't bear to let my children down during the most important season for meeting expectations. And I have set myself up for all of this, gladly, willingly, never expecting "ill health" to interfere with our rituals and festivities. Never mind that this health condition was caused primarily by trying to cram five weeks worth of expectations into a ten day period when I over-booked myself with work, volunteering at my children's schools at the same time I was expected to take care of many other obligations and promises to family and friends. I think the lesson here is to relinquish the expectations of myself and scale down to a more manageable holiday routine, like it or not.

Alas, there will come a time when we parents are no longer able to perform the myriad duties and routines we've created for our families, for any number of reasons, and we will need to give up control of making sure everyone's holiday expectations are met. This could come in the form of a health crisis, monetary crisis, time-crunch crisis ? take your pick. This is the time to delegate the responsibility of the be-all, do-all parent and shift our focus to relishing time with family and friends more so than relishing the accomplishments of others and our own expectations of us.

We are in the midst of a joyous and sacred time of year when our hearts and minds should be filled with love and good will, not with a frenzy of get-it-done anxiety.

I wish you all a joyful, relaxed holiday season, filled with love and happiness. Give yourselves a break and allow one or more of the details to slip by or delegate if need be. Being there for your family in sound mind, body and spirit is ultimately more important.

I have found that doing my Christmas shopping online is a lifesaver and any other task I can accomplish online is equally gratifying. Find ways to make your life a little easier during the busy days ahead.

Copyright ? 2004-2005 - Rexanne Mancini

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

---

Tropical Christmas

I can recall from my days in England, watching television... Read More

Its Party Time - Lets Decorate!

Holidays are here and so is the spirit of partying.... Read More

Costumes! Do They Reflect On Your True Personality?

Costumes are a great way to escape reality, and wearing... Read More

Throwing an Anniversary Party to be Remembered

Anniversary parties are a wonderful way to celebrate two people... Read More

12 Things That Make Life Worthwhile!

Happy New Year! Around the world, this is a time... Read More

Top 20 New Years Quotations

"Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell... Read More

5 Ways to Lose Those Holiday Blues

What a great time of year! It's a time to... Read More

The History of Teddy Bears

Teddy bears have been around since 1902. The teddy bear... Read More

Decorate for Thanksgiving

Years of having to make do have turned me into... Read More

Easter Party Ideas

Easter marks the start of spring and is a sacred... Read More

Country Christmas Idea: Milkweek Pod Poinsettia Ornaments

Country Christmas Idea: Milkweed Pod Poinsettia OrnamentsAt first glance, milkweed... Read More

Traditional VS. Modern Anniversary Gifts

Most people are familiar with the traditional materials list that... Read More

Gift Shopping Tips for Tight Budgets

Have you seen the prices of greeting cards lately? It... Read More

Jewelry Christmas Gifts That Sparkle and Shine

The joyous season of Christmas is steeped in tradition, and... Read More

Outside the Box Gingerbread Houses

Beyond trees and wreaths, there are few symbols of the... Read More

Nicely Designed Pillows As Gifts

Many of us are probably squeezing out our brains to... Read More

Valentines Day Flowers

Flowers & Valentine's Day go hand in hand. Your Valentine... Read More

Ill Be Home For Christmas

Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 29,... Read More

Mothers Day Flowers & Gifts!

Mother's Day is Sunday, May 8th! Whether she lives next... Read More

Seven Great Holiday Decorating Tips--Without Breaking the Bank

If you're looking for great ways to decorate your home... Read More

Saint Nick to Santa, the MOST extreme makeover?

It's the holiday season, and the first thing that comes... Read More

New Year?s Resolution ? Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life?

It's time once again for the dreaded New Year's Resolutions.... Read More

Top 15 Valentines Day Quotations

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return,... Read More

Advantages of Online Greeting Cards Over Paper Cards - Part II

So, let's review a little what we said in the... Read More

Great Games for Your Halloween Party

If you're having a Halloween party you need to play... Read More

Maybe This Christmas Will Be Different....

Have you always dreamed of a Norman Rockwell Christmas -... Read More

Mothers Day: 5 Gift Ideas Guaranteed To Make Any New Mom Happy

Sure, you can call it a Hallmark holiday. But don't... Read More

Find Great Halloween Costume Ideas! Have The Most Creative Costumes This Year

Usually, the hardest part about Halloween is finding the perfect... Read More

The Rose

Lifestyle is style over amount. And style is an art... Read More

Give Presence Not Presents

Throughout the year we have many gift-giving opportunities to show... Read More

Christmas Gift Guide

Christmas is a magical time of year, both for kids... Read More

Color Easter Eggs Naturally With Dyes From Your Kitchen

The most beautiful dyes for Easter eggs come from foodstuff... Read More

How to Put Some Sizzle in Your Summer Parties: 5 Ways to be a Gracious Host and a Great Guest

Now that the hot weather is finally here, we are... Read More