Tips For Singles on Surviving (And Enjoying) The Holidays

Here you are, facing the holiday season alone. Have you been thinking about?

*how alone and lonely you feel

*excuses you can give family members as to why you can't come this year

*what friends may be available to spend those long days with

*how another year has passed and you are (still) single

*how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connected

*how you will handle the office holiday party- single, take a friend, not attend

*going to a far away (tropical?) place to escape it all

*hiding out, alone, in your own home

If these thoughts sound familiar it is probably time to reflect on your feelings regarding this holiday season. If your goal is to hide out and endure it alone, you won't need to do too much planning. However, if you wish to experience at least a measure of the "peace and joy" associated with this time of year, you need to make and follow through with plans that allow you to participate in ways that are meaningful to YOU.

Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, images and Hallmark verses depicting the "right" experiences and expressions for the season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there's nothing wrong with being single. You have the same need and right to enjoy this season as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you.

After you have done some serious reflection, consider the following list of holiday tips designed especially for singles.

Don't make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday season. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself; "do I really want to go out"? If so, make your next question something like; "does it sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?" Or, "will I have the opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?"

Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the holidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and don't expect so much that you will feel hurt or disappointed when things don't turn out just as you had imagined. This will defeat all the positive feelings and experiences that you may have already gained.

Make sure you give thanks for all the blessings you do have in your life. Focusing on what you don't have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a prayer of hope for the things you would like to work for in the coming year.

Don't overbook OR overstay a good amount of time with relatives/friends. Sometimes a shorter stay works best and leaves you energy and space to get back to your own home and decompress.

Look for ways to give to or do for others. Feeling useful and appreciated will provide a great boost to your holiday spirits. Check into volunteer opportunities at local shelters and nursing homes or through any local church or non-profit group.

Don't plan to spend the entire holiday season with married /coupled family and friends. Seek out other singles and singles groups/ activities where you can feel relaxed and able to share with folks you have more in common with at this time. Better yet, plan a get together with other singles for one of the holidays. A festive potluck meal, tree trimming party or other holiday event would probably be much appreciated.

Do avoid using food, alcohol or drugs to cope with holiday stress. Nothing is worse than the feelings that follow the use (or wrong use) of these things. This way of coping leads to depression, low self-esteem and a greater sense of isolation and despair.

Do decorate your home with any and all things that make it feel more festive and fun for YOU. Tune into all those wonderful traditions you grew up with. It does not have to be very costly or time consuming to begin your own traditions in your own place. Don't put off or deny yourself those happy holiday expressions, as you wait for your significant other. Make your life all it can be right now.

Consider emphasizing the more spiritual aspects of the holiday. Go to a concert featuring religious holiday music or attend a church (or other) service, (even better with a friend).

Finally, going away to an exotic place may be just what you do need. Look into tour or vacation packages for singles. This may provide plenty of rest and relaxation and help you meet new friends and develop new interests.

Whatever you decide to do for your holidays, have fun and enjoy them. Focus on taking care of yourself and doing what is right for you. This way you will also be giving your best to those around you. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com

---

Home Made Gifts, The Best Way To Teach Your Kids The Value Of The Holiday

To a large extent the holidays have come to be... Read More

Greeting Card Tango: How To Impress, Not Stress, During The Holidays

When it comes to holiday greeting cards, to send or... Read More

Hassle-Free Holiday Baking: 6 Easy Days to Perfect Christmas Cookies

Like many people, I love the idea of making a... Read More

Low On Cash For Christmas? Try Gifts in a Jar

Time is money, and right now you don't have either... Read More

What Causes Holiday Stress?

The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration... Read More

Cashless Gifts

Sometimes gifts that are truly from your heart have no... Read More

Easter Party Ideas

Easter marks the start of spring and is a sacred... Read More

Find New And Exciting Halloween Masks For Your Next Costume Party!

For most people that don't enjoy wearing messy makeup, Halloween... Read More

The Truth about Mistletoe

You can call it the emasculator of the old king,... Read More

Animatronic Halloween Props - Cardboard Carpentry

One of the most inexpensive ways to create stonewalls in... Read More

The Spirit of Fathers Day

Some time ago I received a gift from both of... Read More

Five Inexpensive Ways to Help Your Children Invest in Holiday Memories

Christmas memories are never dependent on the amount of money... Read More

10 Ways to Celebrate Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a day for remembering those who have... Read More

Costumes! Do They Reflect On Your True Personality?

Costumes are a great way to escape reality, and wearing... Read More

Going Solo on Valentines Day: Advice For Singles

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears.... Read More

Saint Nick to Santa, the MOST extreme makeover?

It's the holiday season, and the first thing that comes... Read More

Dont Want Another Carpet Sweeper This Year For Christmas?

Unique "Drop-A-Hint" Plan Sends Your Gift Wishes Via E-mailSure, they... Read More

Mothers Day: 5 Gift Ideas Guaranteed To Make Any New Mom Happy

Sure, you can call it a Hallmark holiday. But don't... Read More

Decorate for Thanksgiving

Years of having to make do have turned me into... Read More

Fun, Fireworks, & Flowers!

The 4th of July is a time for celebrating Freedom!... Read More

Seven Valentine?s Day Tips for Spouses in ?Less-Than-Perfect? Marriages

Valentine's Day can be a depressing day when you're in... Read More

A Simple Little Holiday Plan

The Thanksgiving leftovers have all been eaten and the gift-buying... Read More

New Year?s Resolution ? Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life?

It's time once again for the dreaded New Year's Resolutions.... Read More

Mothers Day is coming-Dont Blow It!

Mother's Day is May 8th. And, you do realize all... Read More

Spooky Halloween Party Ideas

Are you looking for special Halloween party ideas that will... Read More

FIREWORKS--OR, OOH, AAH, How Do They Do That?

One of my earliest memories involves a Fourth of July... Read More

Dont Want Another Carpet Sweeper This Year For Christmas?

Unique "Drop-A-Hint" Plan Sends Your Gift Wishes Via E-mailSure, they... Read More

Unique Mothers Day Gift - No More Flowers and Chocolate

With Mother's Day approaching fast, it's time to begin thinking... Read More

Birthday Gift Baskets ? The Ideal Gift For Everyone!

No matter how old we are, we enjoy being remembered... Read More

Great Games for Your Halloween Party

If you're having a Halloween party you need to play... Read More

10 Tips to a Stress Free Holiday

"The stress-free way to enjoy the holidays is to plan,... Read More

Cornucopia Centerpiece for Thanksgiving Day

As we enter into the month of November my thoughts... Read More

Giving Thanks

Can you believe that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks... Read More