How To Focus On The Positive Qualities Of Your Relationship

The quality of your life has a strong connection with how healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you struggle to make other people see things your way? Well stop trying, because you can't manipulate others. Why? Well, just like you, they are operating from their own map of the world. What you CAN do is develop a habit of paying attention to the positive aspects of your relationship.

If you are distressed by your relationships, then you need to change the way in which you react to the behaviour of others. If you hold a belief that you will only be happy when the other person changes, it's time to get real, because: The Buck Stops With You.

Think about someone in your life; Are you paying attention to the qualities you think that person is lacking? For example, maybe you think: "If only he was tidier, more attentive to me, more loving, etc?"? Whatever you put your attention on expands. If you only notice the things that annoy you about others, or if you focus on what you think they are not doing right, then you will only experience more of the behaviour that you are trying to avoid!

Try this exercise:

Think about this specific person, and write down the qualities you admire in them. Take the time to remember what drew you to them in the first place. Maybe they are great at making you laugh?they could be a good listener, or have a talent for organising things and events. Whatever you like about this person, write it onto a list! And then look at this list every day.

By doing this, you shift your subconscious attention onto the positive aspects of the relationship and you will start to experience even more of these qualities that you like! Your relationship will improve and the other person will start to become more loving, open and receptive towards you as well.

What About Those Things You Don't Like?

Okay, then. What really annoys you about others? Do you get upset by arrogant people? Or maybe people who cannot be assertive really make your blood boil. Whatever it is that bothers you, you must understand this:

We criticize in others the very qualities that we dislike most about ourselves

We are all connected to a Universal consciousness. When you look at another person, you are also looking at a version of yourself. Learn to see yourself in the reflection of others, and you will become more tolerant of what you see as their negative qualities. And remember, other people, are always a mirror to you.

If you want a great relationship, you need to pay attention to the way you react to people. And most importantly, treat others as you would like to be treated. You have the ability to create a happy, fulfilling relationship, and if you learn to see yourself in others, you will find yourself becoming more and more open to experiencing the good qualities those people.

***

You are licensed to publish this article free of charge, on condition that the author's name is included, and the link to her website remains visible and clickable to human readers.

***

Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love, relationship, the subconscious and much more on her website Manifest Your Success

---

Happiness Versus Pleasure

We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More

Does Money Buy Happiness?

According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed... Read More

Quick Tips On Staying Positive In A Negative World

Looking for a way to stay positive in a negative... Read More

5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks! #2

In Key Reason #1 we looked at how you are... Read More

Sweeten Up Your Life

Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll... Read More

How Can I Tell What Vibes Im Sending Out?

The Law of Attraction exists in your life right now;... Read More

Life Purpose: How To Be in Love with Life

Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More

Letting Go of Anger and Awaken to Lifes Grand Aventures

Anger can make us feel good and enlivened for a... Read More

Smile

How do we smile at each other? Is there a... Read More

4 Steps to Use Fears as Friends: Don?t be a Thunder Dog!

Imagine humungous, bulbous, billowing alto-cumulus clouds building higher and higher... Read More

Flowers Truly Reach Your Soul

Flowers are a simple, sincere and unobtrusive way to lift... Read More

Are You Hooked On Love?

When you're in love your eyes and your face light... Read More

May the Budgie of Happiness Sit on Your Head

My grandmother, Mimi, was a great solitaire player. My family... Read More

What is Happiness and How to Achieve It?

True happiness is such a rare commodity that the whole... Read More

Quick Steps On Being Happier

Want to be happier?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and... Read More

Norman Rockwell ? The Man Who Created His Own Reality

In preparation for a class I taught today, I spent... Read More

Happiness And Health Are The Two Most Important Things In Life

The world is becoming obsessed with money and all things... Read More

What Does It Take To Be Happy?

What does it take to be happy? In our age... Read More

Happiness Fleeting

"You cannot capture happiness no matter how hard you may... Read More

The Year Of Happiness

I have decided to declare 2004 as the YEAR OF... Read More

Love Yourself First ? Im Happy. Youre Happy. Were All Happy!

As a teenager growing up reading 'Blue Jeans' and 'Jackie',... Read More

Reframing with NLP For Enhanced Happiness

I used to work for the Independent National Newspaper in... Read More

Increase Your Happiness - Look Forward With Hindsight

Six months ago you had trouble finding your keys and... Read More

Authentic Happiness

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - how to build positive emotions for extraordinary... Read More

Forgive to Succeed - Im Talking to the You Behind Your Eyes

If your blood is still pumping through your veins, you... Read More

Suffering and Happiness

The one feature that sets life on Earth apart from... Read More

Have Fun, Make Friends, Be Happy

I always marvel at the way people shine when they... Read More

How To Experience A Richer, Deeper, And Fuller Life

When we choose to move beyond the boundaries of the... Read More

See for Yourself : 12 Step Tools Can Bring Happy, Joyous and Free into Everyones Life

We are all familiar with or have heard of the... Read More

The Elusive Butterfly of Happiness

Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?For many people... Read More

Its All About Me: Why Its Good to Be Selfish

I started thinking about this topic during a discussion of... Read More

Emotional Baggage

We all have them. It has many faces. We carry... Read More

Happiness

What is happiness? If we mean by it a state... Read More