But I Bought All The Books And Tapes, And Im Still Unhappy!

I love this quote by Zig Ziglar, and think it's a perfect introduction to this article:

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily."

The same thing can be said for all the different techniques that lead to happiness.

Often you will hear people say,

- "I tried affirmations, and they didn't work."

- "I tried NLP, and it didn't work."

- "I tried subliminal programming, and it didn't work."

- "I tried (insert any other technique), and it didn't work."

Well, the reason is NOT that the techniques are faulty. Every technique has had some success. And every technique has had some failures. There is no holy grail, magical technique, guaranteed to work for everyone. Why is this?

Quite simply, we're all different.

In my search for happiness, I tried many things. Some I can relate to, others I can't. Some I didn't even try. My scepticism ruled out subliminal programming, right from the start. That doesn't mean it won't work for others who are open to trying it. In fact, some people swear by it.

So don't be stressed if you try something and it's not a good "fit". Accept we're all different, take the positives out of the experience, and move on and try something else.

Here are a few pointers though in how to find "what works" for you:

(1) Firstly, understand that these techniques are not a direct cause of happiness. If they were, then everyone who used them would achieve happiness. These techniques are an indirect cause of happiness, with another step in the middle.

There is one, and only one, direct cause of happiness. And that is for you to change your thought process.

Happiness comes from positive thoughts. EVERYONE who focuses on the positive side of their life, with gratitude for what they have now, IS HAPPY!

And everyone who focuses on the negatives, and worries about their future, or lives regretting their past, IS UNHAPPY.

It's as simple as that.

So what we're looking for is a technique (or bunch of techniques) that simply help us focus on the positives in our life, right here and right now. If you try something and it doesn't effectively focus your thoughts on the positives, don't worry about it. Find something else that does.

(2) Make sure you use the technique properly. Some like meditation take many years to completely master (of course there are great benefits along the way). Others are quite simple. Whatever technique you try, research it completely, and consider seeking a teacher, coach or mentor.

(3) As Zig Ziglar said, use the process continually. You are aiming to replace any negative thoughts with positives. Doing it once doesn't guarantee positive thoughts forever, for the rest of your life. You need to make this a continual process.

However like riding a bike, or driving a car, with practice it will become automatic. Your subconscious will take over much of the process, and you will be well on your way to the lifetime of happiness that you so richly deserve.

(4) Don't put all your eggs in one basket. What works one time may not be the best answer next time. My favourite restaurant at the moment is called Base Camp. It's a Nepalese Restaurant just down the road from us here in Melbourne. But that doesn't mean I always eat there when I go out for dinner. Sometimes we eat Italian. Sometimes we might feel like Thai.

As I said earlier, I tried many things in my search for happiness. Some worked for me and some didn't. I found my answer in a combination of many techniques. I personally love affirmations. But at other times I get more value out of EFT. I have a morning routine of manifesting visualisation and meditation. I have an evening (before bed) routine based around the expression of gratitude.

Find a whole truckload of ways to make you feel happy. And use them all at the appropriate time.

There is no holy grail, magical technique, guaranteed to work for everyone. So stop looking for it. Try something. Use it properly, and consistently. And if you get great results, keep using it. If you don't get results, move on to something else.

Lance Beggs.

(c) 2005 Lance Beggs - All Rights reserved

How important is HAPPINESS to you? Discover simple & powerful techniques to take control of your life and be happy, NOW & forever! Join our FREE Mini Course & ezine at http://www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club

Of all the people who know me, no one would... Read More

Have You Ever Tasted The Fruit Of Pure Happiness?

Have you ever been really happy? Have you ever tasted... Read More

There is a Cure for the Summertime Blues

I have never lived anywhere else where when you walk... Read More

Why We Have Problems? A Coach Debates

As a coach, I often ask myself the question why... Read More

Seven Strategies You Need to Know About Strengthening Your Self-Esteem

Did you know that your life's success in all areas... Read More

5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks! #2

In Key Reason #1 we looked at how you are... Read More

A Surefire Way To Manage Your Fears While Leading A Happier, Healthier Life

Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears... Read More

Quick Steps On Being Happier

Want to be happier?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and... Read More

Top 25 Happiness Quotations

"There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a... Read More

Common Scents For Emotional Well Being

Aromatics which include essential oils, perfume, centred candles and incense,... Read More

The Key To A Problem-Free Life

What comes to your mind when you see someone who... Read More

What Does It Take To Be Happy?

What does it take to be happy? In our age... Read More

Free Tips To Improve Self Confidence

1. DRUNK!At the age of sixteen I was invited out... Read More

The Happiness of Others

Is there any necessary connection between our actions and the... Read More

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking the cycle is a term we have all heard.... Read More

Choosing Happiness

Did you know that it's up to you?It's actually your... Read More

Happy Buttons

What makes you happy? What are the simple pleasures that... Read More

Principles of Human Misery / Happiness

Sometimes we are so occupied with our daily routine in... Read More

OBSCURED (Angel)

Being raised in a household without a mother or a... Read More

About Happiness and Fulfillment

During a FULFILLMENT seminar, at the University of Arizona for... Read More

Life Purpose: How To Be in Love with Life

Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More

Could Your Thoughts Sabotage Your Happiness? Take This Quiz And Find Out

Women are conditioned to be people pleasers. Women are taught... Read More

Relationships and the Law of Attraction

This question and answer article was done by Gizelle River,... Read More

The Elusive Butterfly of Happiness

Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?For many people... Read More

The Gift is in the Giving

I have to be honest. I made the woman cashier... Read More

10 Easy Ways You Can Feel Happier, Be Healthier and Live Longer Starting NOW!

Let's just say? first thing when you popped out of... Read More

Happiness Versus Pleasure

We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More

Letting Go of Anger and Awaken to Lifes Grand Aventures

Anger can make us feel good and enlivened for a... Read More

Top 10 Secrets for Being HAPPY!

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin's refrain, "Don't... Read More

The Art Of Happy Living

What do you think about happiness? A philosophical approach to... Read More

Get Right! Make a Difference

Want to make a difference? What can one person do?... Read More

How Good Are You?

The demands of being a good person can sometimes mean... Read More

Red Balloon of Happiness

Just when you think you know it all, some 17-month... Read More