Do You Love Yourelf?

Learning to love yourself isn't easy - especially if you grew up in an environment that involved abuse, neglect, shame or an emotionally dishonest atmosphere. Most people who experience self-love have had it planted as a seed by someone who accepted them unconditionally at a very early phase in their development. But even those fortunate enough to have had this experience, come to find that self-love must continue to evolve as the diversity of life's experiences are faced. For those of us who have not had the seed of self-love planted . . . all is not lost! Self-love is our natural state. We can find our way back to our rightful state of being. Self-love is who and what we are - it is merely hidden by learned patterns of disallowing love. Learning new patterns of allowing love involves an awareness of what self-love is, and then practicing certain skills, self-affirming thoughts, and actions that lead to greater joy.

Self-love is not so much a feeling as it is an absence of self-doubt and self-disapproval. It is a sense of balance and belonging. Respect, responsibility for self, and feeling good are important values. Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms. The following are some characteristics of self-loving people:

Self loving people tend to treat themselves well.

They see fun and enjoyment as a primary goal most of the time.

They do not remain in mistreatment by others.

They are caring towards others. (Because it feels good to do so).

They put themselves first. (Even those they love are a "close second.")

They find a thought that feels good, and practice it.

BASIC PRINCIPLES OF SELF LOVE

Who we are is more important than what we are.

We are valuable. Nothing can change that.

What we want always matters.

USING THE MIRROR
Here are two ways to determine whether you love yourself:

1. Mirror, mirror on the wall ...
The next time you are looking into a mirror, look DEEP into your own eyes.

Notice how you feel in your body as you say "I love you."
Is the statement true - or are you lying to yourself?

Notice what you see:
Self-loving people tend to see themselves as a whole person when they look into a mirror. They LIKE what they see overall, despite their flaws.

Other people tend to see either themselves as "parts" (too wide hips, fat stomach, big nose, pretty hair, etc.). They tend to see aspects of their appearance, which they like or dislike, not the whole of themselves.

2. The Sudden Mirror . . .When you accidentally see your reflection in a storefront window, what is your immediate reaction? If you met this person on the street, would you LIKE them?

SELF LOVE CHECKLIST

____ I do things which nurture, strengthen and comfort my body.

____ I accept my vulnerable feelings like sadness, fear, and mistakes.

____ I'm responsible to bring myself back to a state of feeling good.

____ I look in the mirror and notice my whole being.

____ I comfort myself with positive thoughts.

____ I recognize my achievements.

____ I use healthy activities (exercise, hobbies, friendships) when I need comfort.

____ I share my true feelings with others.

____ I express my anger in healthy ways.

____ I assert my needs and ask for what I want.

____ I recognize and value my need for solitude and alone time.

____ I recognize and value my need for fun and lightheartedness.

____ I am generous with praise towards myself.

____ When I make errors, I am responsible instead of guilty.

____ When I make errors, I forgive myself.

____ I pursue and maintain friendships with others.

QUESTIONS TO GUIDE US BACK INTO SELF-LOVE

Do I use my intuition with myself?

When I feel emotional, do I explore deeper to understand what I would need to feel better?

Do I give myself what I need to feel better?

Am I kind to myself?

What is good in my life?

What in my life do I most enjoy?

What stimulates me?

What's missing in my life - and what can I do about it?

What can I do to add more joy into my life?

Do I follow through doing what I say I am going to do?

What do I think?

What is my preference?

What can I do to feel happier right now?

Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.

Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
"Opening Creative Portals to Success"
972.985.8750
Annette@AnnetteColby.com

For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit: http://www.LovingMiracles.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Have Fun, Make Friends, Be Happy

I always marvel at the way people shine when they... Read More

Why Laughter Is Good For You

How Laughter Can Reduce Stress and Improve Your HealthA merry... Read More

True Happiness

Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of... Read More

Your Perfect Partner

A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great... Read More

Are You Hooked On Love?

When you're in love your eyes and your face light... Read More

Chasing The Whats Next

Are you an adrenaline junkie who is looking for balance?... Read More

Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes

Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers... Read More

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Life

A friend once said to me, "There is no meaning... Read More

Discover a Momentary Miracle

Each moment is filled with miracles - very special treasures... Read More

Free Tips To Improve Self Confidence

1. DRUNK!At the age of sixteen I was invited out... Read More

Smile

How do we smile at each other? Is there a... Read More

Top 10 Secrets for Being HAPPY!

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin's refrain, "Don't... Read More

Smile - A Look at False Happiness

Smile... You'll make your brain wonder what your face is... Read More

Flow as in Flower

The seeds you sow determine the crop you reap. This... Read More

Life Purpose: How To Be in Love with Life

Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More

Could Your Thoughts Sabotage Your Happiness? Take This Quiz And Find Out

Women are conditioned to be people pleasers. Women are taught... Read More

Dont Let Life Happen to You

Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More

Sweeten Up Your Life

Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll... Read More

Gratefulness

Gratefulness brings a great fullness to life. The choice to... Read More

The Elusive Butterfly of Happiness

Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?For many people... Read More

Happiness

Without getting into the core basics of philosophy, I will... Read More

A Shortcut to Happiness -- Vote with Live 8

Did you see any of the Live 8 performances in... Read More

Inevitable Changes and Changeless Connections

Sometimes change is pleasant. A child is born. A new... Read More

Great Relationship Problem Solving Technique

This is one of my all time favourite problem solving... Read More

Three Inspirations for Happiness

The following three inspirations were adapted from A Daily Dose... Read More

Self Identity: Who Are You?

Self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things,... Read More

The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality

Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of... Read More

Does Money Buy Happiness?

According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed... Read More

Create a Balanced Lifestyle and Begin Living a Happier, Healthier and Enriched Life

Are you living a balanced life?Many people are not. Their... Read More

A Model of Happiness

Everyone I've ever met considers happiness to be desirable. There... Read More

The Key To A Problem-Free Life

What comes to your mind when you see someone who... Read More

Love Yourself First ? Im Happy. Youre Happy. Were All Happy!

As a teenager growing up reading 'Blue Jeans' and 'Jackie',... Read More

Happiness Versus Pleasure

We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More