Learning to love yourself isn't easy - especially if you grew up in an environment that involved abuse, neglect, shame or an emotionally dishonest atmosphere. Most people who experience self-love have had it planted as a seed by someone who accepted them unconditionally at a very early phase in their development. But even those fortunate enough to have had this experience, come to find that self-love must continue to evolve as the diversity of life's experiences are faced. For those of us who have not had the seed of self-love planted . . . all is not lost! Self-love is our natural state. We can find our way back to our rightful state of being. Self-love is who and what we are - it is merely hidden by learned patterns of disallowing love. Learning new patterns of allowing love involves an awareness of what self-love is, and then practicing certain skills, self-affirming thoughts, and actions that lead to greater joy.
Self-love is not so much a feeling as it is an absence of self-doubt and self-disapproval. It is a sense of balance and belonging. Respect, responsibility for self, and feeling good are important values. Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms. The following are some characteristics of self-loving people:
Self loving people tend to treat themselves well.
They see fun and enjoyment as a primary goal most of the time.
They do not remain in mistreatment by others.
They are caring towards others. (Because it feels good to do so).
They put themselves first. (Even those they love are a "close second.")
They find a thought that feels good, and practice it.
BASIC PRINCIPLES OF SELF LOVE
Who we are is more important than what we are.
We are valuable. Nothing can change that.
What we want always matters.
USING THE MIRROR
Here are two ways to determine whether you love yourself:
1. Mirror, mirror on the wall ...
The next time you are looking into a mirror, look DEEP into your own eyes.
Notice how you feel in your body as you say "I love you."
Is the statement true - or are you lying to yourself?
Notice what you see:
Self-loving people tend to see themselves as a whole person when they look into a mirror. They LIKE what they see overall, despite their flaws.
Other people tend to see either themselves as "parts" (too wide hips, fat stomach, big nose, pretty hair, etc.). They tend to see aspects of their appearance, which they like or dislike, not the whole of themselves.
2. The Sudden Mirror . . .When you accidentally see your reflection in a storefront window, what is your immediate reaction? If you met this person on the street, would you LIKE them?
SELF LOVE CHECKLIST
____ I do things which nurture, strengthen and comfort my body.
____ I accept my vulnerable feelings like sadness, fear, and mistakes.
____ I'm responsible to bring myself back to a state of feeling good.
____ I look in the mirror and notice my whole being.
____ I comfort myself with positive thoughts.
____ I recognize my achievements.
____ I use healthy activities (exercise, hobbies, friendships) when I need comfort.
____ I share my true feelings with others.
____ I express my anger in healthy ways.
____ I assert my needs and ask for what I want.
____ I recognize and value my need for solitude and alone time.
____ I recognize and value my need for fun and lightheartedness.
____ I am generous with praise towards myself.
____ When I make errors, I am responsible instead of guilty.
____ When I make errors, I forgive myself.
____ I pursue and maintain friendships with others.
QUESTIONS TO GUIDE US BACK INTO SELF-LOVE
Do I use my intuition with myself?
When I feel emotional, do I explore deeper to understand what I would need to feel better?
Do I give myself what I need to feel better?
Am I kind to myself?
What is good in my life?
What in my life do I most enjoy?
What stimulates me?
What's missing in my life - and what can I do about it?
What can I do to add more joy into my life?
Do I follow through doing what I say I am going to do?
What do I think?
What is my preference?
What can I do to feel happier right now?
Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.
Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
"Opening Creative Portals to Success"
972.985.8750
Annette@AnnetteColby.com
For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit: http://www.LovingMiracles.com
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
I always marvel at the way people shine when they... Read More
How Laughter Can Reduce Stress and Improve Your HealthA merry... Read More
Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of... Read More
A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great... Read More
When you're in love your eyes and your face light... Read More
Are you an adrenaline junkie who is looking for balance?... Read More
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers... Read More
A friend once said to me, "There is no meaning... Read More
Each moment is filled with miracles - very special treasures... Read More
1. DRUNK!At the age of sixteen I was invited out... Read More
How do we smile at each other? Is there a... Read More
One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin's refrain, "Don't... Read More
Smile... You'll make your brain wonder what your face is... Read More
The seeds you sow determine the crop you reap. This... Read More
Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More
Women are conditioned to be people pleasers. Women are taught... Read More
Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More
Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll... Read More
Gratefulness brings a great fullness to life. The choice to... Read More
Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?For many people... Read More
Without getting into the core basics of philosophy, I will... Read More
Did you see any of the Live 8 performances in... Read More
Sometimes change is pleasant. A child is born. A new... Read More
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving... Read More
The following three inspirations were adapted from A Daily Dose... Read More
Self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things,... Read More
Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of... Read More
According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed... Read More
Are you living a balanced life?Many people are not. Their... Read More
Everyone I've ever met considers happiness to be desirable. There... Read More
What comes to your mind when you see someone who... Read More
As a teenager growing up reading 'Blue Jeans' and 'Jackie',... Read More
We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More
My journey to becoming a therapist began with a desire... Read More
According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed... Read More
"Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but... Read More
"You cannot capture happiness no matter how hard you may... Read More
Our use of body posture plays a key role in... Read More
How do we smile at each other? Is there a... Read More
Being in tune with your mind, body, and soul and... Read More
When I tell you what I heard you'll be able... Read More
The outcome of Reason # 2 is that you become... Read More
Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of... Read More
If you're an employer or a manager then work place... Read More
1. Say "Yes" Only When You Want ToYou want to... Read More
Other people can bring tremendous happiness to our lives but... Read More
The freeway was relatively clear. It was early in the... Read More
"When you live the life you were meant to live,... Read More
To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally,... Read More
Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time... Read More
Is there any necessary connection between our actions and the... Read More
A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great... Read More
Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger... Read More
I've got a bit of a problem with depression and... Read More
Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of... Read More
Whatever we want in life, a partner, more money, good... Read More
Many of my clients are working harder than smarter. This... Read More
I have never lived anywhere else where when you walk... Read More
The demands of being a good person can sometimes mean... Read More
The Law of Attraction exists in your life right now;... Read More
Are you living a balanced life?Many people are not. Their... Read More
The quality of your life has a strong connection with... Read More
To begin feeling that first spark of self-confidence within you,... Read More
You've heard the expression, "Just believe it and it will... Read More
Of all the people who know me, no one would... Read More
Finding Happiness |