Seven Strategies You Need to Know About Strengthening Your Self-Esteem

Did you know that your life's success in all areas is directly related to having a healthy self-esteem? You've heard the cliché "You are what you eat." Many would also argue that "You are what you think."

Nathaniel Brandon, one of the most notable psychologists on self-esteem put it nicely: "There is no value-judgment more important to man-no factor more decisive in his psychological development & motivation than the estimate he passes on himself."

It is the secret or "hidden self-esteem" in particular, that will get you through those very dark spots. It will enable you to find a valuable lesson each time you face an obstacle.

The hidden or secret self-esteem is how you feel about yourself deep down. It is the most accurate description of how you feel, regardless of what obstacles are thrown in your path.

If it's strong, then you will be able to deal better with stress and your relationships. You'll be successful by your own standards and have no need to boast about it. Your surface self- esteem, however, can vary widely depending on the day of the week. It's a temporary feeling.

Environmental factors can play a role in how you view yourself.

It most certainly did for me. For example (the very short version), I felt essentially fatherless. I got called weird a lot growing up (and fat, too!).

Artists, musicians, and the mathematically inclined tend to be labeled as eccentric. I am all three! Teenagers generally ridiculed eccentricity in my environment back then.

Honestly, I don't believe my secret nor surface self-esteem was as healthy as it could be in all areas until I was finished with school-Graduate School!

So how did I get from there to here?

Let's look at some strategies that I used and see if any or all them can get you on the road to developing or strengthening your self-esteem. Here are seven of them:

1. Clear out the junk: This means anything hurtful and unconstructive that you've been told by someone you care(d) about (or even some you didn't) is to be taken with a grain of salt. It's one thing to be given constructive criticism in life, but quite another when people are downright mean about it. Remember it's the offending party's issue. NOT yours.

2. Related to #1: List first why you believe the negativity you tell yourself (i.e., I'm too old. I'm too fat. Nobody loves me. I'm never good enough. etc.); laugh at that piece of paper you just wrote on; THEN tear it up and move on to the next strategy.

3. You may have heard the phrase "Attitude of gratitude." Count your blessings, which can include things people actually take for granted, such as food and shelter, access to a computer, etc.

4. List your positive attributes and talents-everybody has them! List at least five.

5. Make a list of what you love to do, starting from childhood until now and try to find time to do it at least once a week, even if it's just for a few minutes.

6. List at least three things that you would love to have the courage to do.

7. Surround yourself with positive people (think of volunteer or professional organizations that have something in common with your interests, for example).

If none of these strategies work over time, other factors may be at play that are beyond the scope of this article.

Consistently employing these strategies will make it easier to keep going even when the going gets tough. Especially when the going gets tough! Whenever you are feeling low, you don't have to try and deny it. But do know that it will pass. Knowing that it will pass will help you psychologically.

If you're interested in seeing where you fall in terms of your self-esteem, here is a site that I found very useful: http://www.wellnessnet.com/testesarticle.htm. It also goes into the hidden and surface self esteem concept in more depth.

Self-esteem is but one personal resource worth managing. It's important to be kind to yourself and have patience. Remember, your best investment is in yourself!

Power-Ed Solutions, Inc. Copyright © 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Carol Dickson-Carr a life strategist and social scientist who has researched the human condition for over 13 years. She is also founder of Power-Ed Solutions, Inc., a Leadership Development Company

http://managingpersonalresources.com

http://www.power-edsolutionsinc.com

cdickson@power-edsolutionsinc.com

---

Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to...

I want to share with you today one of those... Read More

Things To Do To Beat The Blues

As moms we all tend to get the blues, we... Read More

Happiness Versus Pleasure

We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More

10 Steps to Happily Ever After

Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have... Read More

Are You Doing What You Love Each And Every Day?

It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day... Read More

Uncover Emotional Secrets and Live a Happier Life

Can you remember a time when you became a little... Read More

Are You Hooked On Love?

When you're in love your eyes and your face light... Read More

Have You Ever Tasted The Fruit Of Pure Happiness?

Have you ever been really happy? Have you ever tasted... Read More

Happiness Fleeting

"You cannot capture happiness no matter how hard you may... Read More

Where do we Find True and Lasting Happiness?

For the longest time I was convinced that I was... Read More

A Model of Happiness

Everyone I've ever met considers happiness to be desirable. There... Read More

Norman Rockwell ? The Man Who Created His Own Reality

In preparation for a class I taught today, I spent... Read More

Follow Your Bliss

Gail was a quiet, shy, young lady. She has been... Read More

Its All About Me: Why Its Good to Be Selfish

I started thinking about this topic during a discussion of... Read More

Love, Uncles, and Etymology

Thwack! . . . Thwack! . . . Thwack! Steven... Read More

Divining Your Karmic Number

Your karmic number interpretation tells you what you need to... Read More

Happiness is Yours for the Taking

Happiness. The pursuit of so many. In fact, we are... Read More

How to Be Happy!

How would you like to have at least an extra... Read More

How to Find True Happiness!

To maintain an unchangeable sweetness of disposition, to think only... Read More

Choose Happiness

It's a beautiful spring day in Beverly Hills, California. I'm... Read More

Body, Mind, and Soul

Being in tune with your mind, body, and soul and... Read More

7 Keys to a Happy Life

1. Do not act in order to receive a payoff.This... Read More

Can Existential Therapy Give You a Sense of Wellbeing?

My journey to becoming a therapist began with a desire... Read More

Looking In The Eyes Of Happiness

From what you see around you in your daily lives,... Read More

A Shortcut to Happiness -- Vote with Live 8

Did you see any of the Live 8 performances in... Read More

Health and Happiness - Self Test

First of all, examine yourself outwardly.Look at your fingernails. Are... Read More

Getting In Touch With Your Inner Feelings

Every disease or ailment, whether it be cancer, diabetes, arthritis,... Read More

Got Play?

Passion Love Action You! Playing with your own divinity, spirit,... Read More

Chasing The Whats Next

Are you an adrenaline junkie who is looking for balance?... Read More

Inner Peace

Are you content and at inner peace?Or are you insecure... Read More

The Underestimated Power of Kindness

It was a bright Saturday morning in the late fall.... Read More

It?s Good to be Goofy

To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally,... Read More

Hanging Out

Right off the top: What is the difference between dating... Read More