Forgive to Succeed - Im Talking to the You Behind Your Eyes

If your blood is still pumping through your veins, you very likely have some forgiving to do. When you truly forgive, you serve yourself much more than you serve the person you are forgiving. What I mean here is this. Forgiveness is great for the other person, but it's absolutely critical for us. We don't really move on with our lives until we fully and completely forgive. Unfortunately for some, they live their entire lives in a state of anger and resentment. What an awful tragedy it is to let someone hurt and limit you for an entire lifetime. Our time could be better spent on creating and enjoying a life of happiness.

But, how do we know when a lack of forgiveness is holding us back? Obviously, if your blood boils every time you see the person or hear their name, you've got some forgiving to do. But, following are some subtle signs that we've yet to fully forgive, even if we think we have:

You feel irritated or angry with the person and you're not sure why.

Example: You and a friend go out for a bite to eat. She says, "It's your turn to pay, girl?I paid last time." You know that she did pay last time but you feel angry for some reason. You think to yourself, "Why am I angry? It really is my turn to pay." But the truth is that you never forgave her for not repaying you the $150 she borrowed 7 years ago.

You have a hard time with new relationships.

Example: You can only get so close with a new partner or friend before putting up your defenses or self-sabotaging the relationship. You think it's because they are emotionally unavailable for true intimacy. And, that may be true if they have their own forgiveness issues. But, we're not talking about them right now; we're talking about you. In truth you were hurt by an old partner or friend and now sabotage anything that might go any deeper. Here again the freedom is in truly forgiving the person that hurt you in the first place. Only then will you allow someone new to get closer.

You're not getting what you want in this life

Example: You haven't been able to attain the amount of financial security you truly want. You haven't yet met that special person with whom you desire to share your spiritual, emotional and physical life. You're disappointed with your current life-style and wish you had more leisure time for relaxation and romance. The list goes on. I'll say it again; you have some forgiving to do. This time the person you need to forgive is in the mirror. Not the mirror in the busy restaurant, because there, you'll only see what you present to the outside world. No, I'm talking about the mirror in your own private bathroom, first thing in the morning; the one that reflects who it is that you think you really are. The "You" behind your eyes.

Forgiveness takes spiritual exercise and discipline. Most of the time we don't even know that we are angry, leave alone why. Spiritual coaching, growth-oriented readings, mediation and spending time in nature are some ways to become more aware of our internal worlds. And, then we can begin to heal and move our lives in the direction we dream and hope for. There is no better time than now. So, take some steps today.

This is what "Shades and Reflections" is all about. Helping people see them selves more accurately.

Delano Garner is the founder of "Shades and Reflections" a resource site for authentic living. http://www.ShadesandReflections.com

---

Happiness Without Prescription

As life and lifestyles speed up, so does the growing... Read More

Getting Connected

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise... Read More

Choosing Happiness

Did you know that it's up to you?It's actually your... Read More

Are You Doing What You Love?

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the... Read More

Have Fun, Make Friends, Be Happy

I always marvel at the way people shine when they... Read More

14 Habits For A Happier You and I

Many people exercise, play sports, or know someone who does.... Read More

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking the cycle is a term we have all heard.... Read More

Dont Let Life Happen to You

Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More

About Happiness and Fulfillment

During a FULFILLMENT seminar, at the University of Arizona for... Read More

It?s Good to be Goofy

To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally,... Read More

Get Out Those Legos

Many of my clients are working harder than smarter. This... Read More

You are Where You are Because You Decided to be There

The decisions we make everyday have a big impact on... Read More

10 Ideas to Jump Start Your Self-Confidence

To begin feeling that first spark of self-confidence within you,... Read More

Happiness - Not Something To Pursue

Perhaps the most sought after thing in the world is... Read More

Being Happy

How can one be happy? Is it a tough question?... Read More

True Happiness

Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of... Read More

4 Steps to Use Fears as Friends: Don?t be a Thunder Dog!

Imagine humungous, bulbous, billowing alto-cumulus clouds building higher and higher... Read More

Uncovering Your Joy: Using a Personal Journal to Discover a Life Filled with Happiness

Author Tristine Rainer wrote "Happiness within a diary has less... Read More

Giving Attention To Happiness

When I left England in 2000 there did not seem... Read More

10 Survival Strategies to Overcoming Adversity and Being Happy

If one thing is for certain, each of us will... Read More

Norman Rockwell ? The Man Who Created His Own Reality

In preparation for a class I taught today, I spent... Read More

The Golden Moments in Life

This month I'm going to talk about something I've never... Read More

Suffering

Since wisdom is the art of coping with suffering, it... Read More

What Does It Take To Be Happy?

What does it take to be happy? In our age... Read More

Sweeten Up Your Life

Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll... Read More

Life Purpose: How To Be in Love with Life

Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More

How To Dance With Life

Fortunate, indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right... Read More

7 Gifts that Multiply Happiness

Did you know that there are gifts that will multiply... Read More

Gratitude For Dummies

Yes, it might feel great to win the lottery. Money,... Read More

What is the Ultimate Lifestyle?

Since the mission of this newsletter is to help you... Read More

Top 25 Happiness Quotations

"There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a... Read More

Happiness and the Single Person; Changing Myth Into Reality

Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron... Read More

Flowers Truly Reach Your Soul

Flowers are a simple, sincere and unobtrusive way to lift... Read More