If you have ever lost someone dear to you it is likely that you can still summon up the grief that you may still be carrying deep inside yourself as a result of the loss. If this grief, which is usually felt as a deep saddness, is something that you would like to clear in yourself then you may find some hope here.
In this brief passage I would like to address this grief in a way that you have probably never seen or heard of before. Following what comes next may leave you feeling transformed, so I caution you in advance.
Grief:
Is the saddness that is associated with a significant loss (say of another person)
The feeling of loss is, by definition, that which tells us that once there was another person,
Hence the feeling of loss helps to remind us that there once was another person, so that,
We won't forget the other person, so that
We can feel like we are still connected to the other person, so that,
We can feel better in ourselves and feel that we are not alone, so that
We can feel at peace, happy and contented.
So, in summary: (A) The saddness helps us feel connected to the loved one, at peace, happy and contented.
But this is clearly not true is it?
The saddness is there primarily because we have "lost" the other person and are therefore "disconnected" from them. Also, clearly saddness is the opposite of being at peace, feeling happy or contented, isn't it?
Now, if you wish, acknowledge to yourself that (A) is not true and notice how you feel inside.
If you followed this so far you may be feeling some or all of the following:
a) Confused
b) Skeptical
c) Lighter
d) Relief
e) At peace
f) More contented
g) Expansive
h) Enlightened
i) Happier
j) More connected to your loved one but in a happier more desirable way.
k) Have an awareness that you are really "not" separated from your loved one.
If you felt a) or b) above then you are still needing the grief for some reason. If you felt any of the other feelings then I think you already know what this is about.
If you wish to know more then you are free to visit the web site in my bio below.
Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is a Key Note Speaker, Author, Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.
Personal URL: http://www.telecoaching4u.com
My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age... Read More
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More
Suicide strikes...AGAIN!This may wind up being the most important article... Read More
It's a familiar story, and I have been through it... Read More
Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack.... Read More
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time,... Read More
The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:"The ability to... Read More
There are many experiences in life, which remind us that... Read More
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More
Like it or not, we think in line with our... Read More
Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face... Read More
Few of us care to think about the inevitability of... Read More
Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should... Read More
I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped... Read More
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More
Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of... Read More
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days... Read More
Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own... Read More
I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while... Read More
For most children, their first experience with grief comes with... Read More
Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25,... Read More
When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or... Read More
Do you spend most of your time inside or outside... Read More
Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked... Read More
During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved... Read More
No one likes to think about illness and death, when... Read More
Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been... Read More
The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states... Read More
Angelo C, was a good man that never did any... Read More
Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in... Read More
I believe that major change and loss in our lives... Read More
Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and... Read More
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More
When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or... Read More
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days... Read More
The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:"The ability to... Read More
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to... Read More
Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are,... Read More
The question of whether, say, a man should have the... Read More
You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples... Read More
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds... Read More
Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get... Read More
Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in... Read More
Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his... Read More
Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should... Read More
It was a moment I will never forget.On February 22,... Read More
October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me... Read More
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do?... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More
("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We... Read More
I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while... Read More
Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been... Read More
Too many people are dying alone?The dying are one of... Read More
September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you.... Read More
There are many different kinds of losses we can experience... Read More
For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -... Read More
As a small business owner we have to deal with... Read More
"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead."... Read More
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of... Read More
During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death... Read More
The impatient tooting of a car horn startled us into... Read More
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More
Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing... Read More
Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25,... Read More
If we were to organize a list of the thorniest... Read More
Dealing with Grief & Loss |