Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo

Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Her death was not the way I would want my own death to be. When my time comes, I want no heroic measures, since for me they simply postpone the inevitable. And watching the family feud that took place between her husband and her parents, with all the tension and the anger, saddened me terribly. Peace should be the last emotion Terry felt, but who knows if she heard only the angry words passed between those she loved. No one should have to die as she did.

What a shame. At the same time, look at the two different approaches to grief presented to us, one by her husband Michael and the other by her parents the Schindlers. Michael was clearly ready to "lay her gently down," he was prepared to move on with his new life and to "begin again" with his fiancee and two young children. Some say he was ready a bit too soon, but I disagree. Grief takes as long as it needs, there is no clock for the soul. Her parents, on the other hand, were clearly unable to give her up yet. It is understandable that parents would be so protective of their kids, and I don't know what I would do if, God forbid, one of my own kids was in a similar state.

I am not judging, just pointing out the differences in style and approach in this wrenching drama. For Terri's parents, despite how they may feel now, they must know that there is still hope for them. There is a new future which they will soon help create; there will be new challenges for them and their family which they cannot yet know. When you are grieving, you often lose sight of the future, because the present is so draining. But no matter what has been taken from you there is hope. They still have each other and they still have a life in front of them. I certainly pray that they will find healing and consolation, and that Terri's memories will bring them peace.

---

The Look of Grief

Never, since man has walked upright, have people all over... Read More

A Critical Assessment of Euthanasia

The question of whether, say, a man should have the... Read More

We are the Reflection of our Lives: How to Survive Loss & Humility

Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face... Read More

Pope John Paul II

WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am... Read More

In the Blink of an Eye

Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can... Read More

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of... Read More

The Lesson of a Mothers Death

Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25,... Read More

Anticipatory Grief and Ongoing Sadness for Caregivers

In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross published her famous book; On... Read More

Why Dont We Talk About Anticipatory Grief?

I know anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before... Read More

Grief Support: The Dos

Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do?... Read More

Am I a Mother - Tips for Handling Mother?s Day After Miscarriage

Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are,... Read More

Dads, Life, and Death

When he looked at me, it was clear my father... Read More

Physiological Consequences of Carrying Emotional Trauma

Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma... Read More

Terminal Illness- Death and Grief

No one likes to think about illness and death, when... Read More

Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide

Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so... Read More

Suicide - An Eternal Pain

Suicide is the one form of death that has quite... Read More

An Unexpected Letter

It was a couple of weeks after Christmas, and I... Read More

Good Grief!

If tears are an indication of how special my relationship... Read More

Miracles?

If we were to organize a list of the thorniest... Read More

And You Always Will

I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time,... Read More

Whens Sarah Coming Home? Helping Your Child Understand Death

For most children, their first experience with grief comes with... Read More

What this Rabbi Learned from Not being Re-hired

It's a familiar story, and I have been through it... Read More

Whats It All About?

For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -... Read More

Coping with Grief - Its Called Living Through It

"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead."... Read More

Men and Grief

Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More

When Change Comes (Dealing With Grief and Loss)

Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and... Read More

Dealing With Tragedies (The 9/11 Tragedy)

September 11, 2001, marked yet another significant turning point in... Read More

Suicide in the Church Part 1

Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own... Read More

Pet Loss: Significant and Profound Loss or Much Ado about Nothing?

For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal... Read More

Beyond A Mothers Nightmare To Radical Forgiveness

It was a moment I will never forget.On February 22,... Read More

Tenderizing

Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate... Read More

Angelo Dies

Angelo C, was a good man that never did any... Read More

The Twists and Turns of Life

When I was born in 1962 I thought life was... Read More