Be Selfish With Your Goals

All too often good-intentioned people set forth goals designed to satiate others rather than themselves. While the intent is honorable, the results will likely lead to failure. Why? As the somewhat provocative title of this article indicates, you need to be selfish with your goals and select ones that mean something to you.

Through segments on the evening news, magazines, talk shows, radio programming and even the advice of family and friends, we are consistently subjected to a whole litany of goals that anyone with half a brain should strive for. If we were to listen to all the experts, we would all need to be perfectly fit and rich individuals with at least two college majors under our belt.

Baloney.

Now I won't deny that there are tremendous benefits to being physically fit, financially well off or highly educated, but let's be honest here ? one doesn't require all of the above to live a successful and happy life. There are many somewhat overweight individuals that are quite happy to escape the annoyances of careful food selection and exercise and instead focus on earning money or spending time with family. By the same token, there are many physically fit individuals that see no need to bring in extraordinary levels of income to be happy; they would just as well get by with what they need to live.

I firmly believe all of us should constantly strive to improve ourselves, but there is no single blueprint that we should all follow. What might be important to me (business and management) might not be important to you, and vice versa. For this reason, when you are determining which goals you would like to pursue you should always block out the wishes of others and select goals that are dear to your heart.

This sounds incredibly selfish, but obviously I'm not advocating adopting a goal that would hurt others, and ideally in a committed relationship you and your significant other would share common goals. But when push comes to shove, if you choose a goal for someone else rather than yourself you will do yourself a huge disservice.

Take, for example, weight loss. Many overweight people lead happy and successful lives despite their weight; you don't have to be as fit as a fiddle to be happy. Let's say one of these somewhat overweight individuals decided one day to finally buckle under the constant societal harping about the benefits of weight loss and begin a diet program. What would happen?

Chances are very high the individual would adjust his diet and get off to a good start. Almost all of us are capable of losing a few pounds during the first couple weeks, particularly since much of the initial weight loss is water. But during this time chances are good the dieter will be fairly unhappy, and this unhappiness will fester over time. Eventually when the body stops losing water weight and shifts into fat loss, the weight loss will slow down to about a pound or two a week.

Throughout the diet the dieter's morale and optimistic outlook on life will suffer, and this might even affect other areas he was already successful with, such as his relationship with his family or his business. Eventually he will quit his diet in disgust, and immediately upon reverting to his old eating habits he will not only gain what he lost he'll also gain even more! Diets play havoc with the body's metabolism, so more often than not a person that quits a diet will end up weighing far more than had they never dieted to begin with.

Clearly weight loss is a fantastic goal that can provide a lifetime of benefits, but it isn't for everyone! If you are not passionate about such a goal, you could actually harm other areas of your life when stress is added and morale and motivation drops due to your lifestyle change, and then to add insult to injury you just might end up being heavier than you were had you not even tried to adopt to society's standards.

The above example holds true for every single goal under the sun. Many people love the business world and all its risks and challenges, but others would rather avoid the stressful situations and problems that all businessmen face. Perhaps they would rather live a middle-class lifestyle, stay physically fit and enjoy hiking or camping trips with a partner over the weekends during the time the business-oriented are probably working overtime.

Choose only the goals that are compatible with your desires and needs, because selecting an incompatible goal that society or family advocates is a virtually guaranteed formula for failure, and can very easily do more harm than good.

Copyright 2005 Goals and Motivation.com

Jeffrey Rolo is an experienced human resources manager, business owner and also the owner of Goals and Motivation.com, a website offering a free 20+ page guide on goal setting. Visit http://www.goals-and-motivation.com to view this guide as well as other articles about goals and management.

---

19 Ultimate Success Tips for your Online Business

1. Your first ultimate start must include written goals and... Read More

Not Satisfied With Where You Are; STOP - Change The Action Change The Outcome

"If you keep on doing what you have always done,... Read More

Decide and Declare!

Did you start off the new year with goals and... Read More

Success Is Knowing What You Want

Many people ask me how they can be more successful.The... Read More

Your Goals Clearly In Mind

Keep Your Goals Fresh In Your Mind - Most of... Read More

Pigs Dont Sing

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes... Read More

Planning for Success

The purpose of having an analytical brain is to use... Read More

Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Whatever you want in life, you have far more chance... Read More

Dont Let Go Of Your Dreams

Don't let go of your dreams. If you have determination... Read More

Six Keys to build vision (overview and point one)

Have you ever considered why some things succeed and others... Read More

Money, a Session With Joseth on Abundance and Money (Channelled)

(Channelled) (This communication with Joseth happened more than a year... Read More

Eight Steps to Taking Control of Every Situation in Your Life!

Like it or not, we are all gladiators. We go... Read More

Make 2005 Your Best Year Ever - Its Not Too Late!

We are moving rapidly through 2005, and you'll find previously... Read More

Go Beyond Goals And Achieve Your Dream!

As important as goal setting is, goals alone do not... Read More

Intrapersonal Communication

What is intrapersonal communication? It is communicating with yourself.Most people... Read More

Struggling to Make a Decision?

Every great success story begins when a person makes a... Read More

How to Keep Your Focus on Your Home Business Goals

As you begin your new home business you will find... Read More

Goal-Mapping

Goal-mapping is like a treasure hunt, you must first start... Read More

What is The Right Action That Leads To Your Ultimate Goals?

What is the right thing I need to do to... Read More

Attain Instant Results With Goal Setting Tools

Your path to the successful accomplishment of your goals can... Read More

Put Wings On Your Dreams

We Need DreamsDreams are important. Not the dreams you have... Read More

How to Break the Cycle of Postponing Your Dreams

Do you have a dream, but keep postponing it because... Read More

Taking Action is Essential for Self Improvement and Success

Much has been written about writing down goals and regularly... Read More

Perseverance and Success: Essential to Reaching Your Goals

"Most of the important things in the world have been... Read More

Creative Visualization: How to Supercharge Your Goal Setting

Do you know the single best way to "supercharge" any... Read More

How to Improve Your Life Every Day

Growing Towards ExcellenceWould you like to become a better person?... Read More

Discipline is Essential for Self Improvement

Most of us are regularly exposed to information offering get... Read More

Six Keys To Build Vision - Point Two

2. Recognize the source and purpose of vision· It's purpose... Read More

Forget New Years Resolutions -- They Dont Work

You can forget about making New Year's Resolutions if you're... Read More

Exploring Beneath The Surface

Unwanted feelings and thoughts are rich territory to dive beneath... Read More

Six keys to keys build vision - point four

4. Start somewhere (put to use what you already have)"Action... Read More

The Illusion of a Final Goal

"..... there is no final goal. There is always further... Read More

The Process of Developing Meaningful Goals

DEVELOPING A GOAL-SETTING CHECKPOINT: The process of developing meaningful goals... Read More