Rambling Confessions of a Recovering Entrepreneur

I told my family that I finally accepted that my passion had become an ob- session, and you could even call it an addiction. They all laughed. What had taken me 25 years to accept, they had known for years. My wife detected my addiction as early as our honeymoon in Paris. All I wanted to do was spend time at the Bourse trading francs on the spot market. She kept on nudging me to see some old picture in the Louvre.

For my daughter, it became clear when I demanded that her prom date be an officer in Junior Achievement. I thought it was a good way to ensure that she dated a young man with career aspirations. She saw it differently.

It had been six months since I had read a business plan. And I missed it. I mumbled when the Wall Street Journal driver came down my block? only to skip my house. My wife had a block on our cable television - no more MSNBC, and it was no better on the Internet; I couldn't access Bloomberg.

Last Tuesday, a power stronger then myself won out. I don't know how, but I ended up at the Harvard-Yale-Princeton Club. My eyes focused on the booths along the back wall. I immediately saw the signs. A shot of single-malt Scotch, half finished, was being used as a paperweight on a four-color business plan. The reader, a silver-haired executive with monogrammed reading glasses, was analyzing spreadsheets as he simultaneously served volleys of staccato-like questions at the young man across the table.

This young man was obviously new to the game. His dark blue suit looked like he had not worn it since his bar mitzvah, and the tie must have been knotted eight years ago and never unraveled. He had ordered the latest micro-brew, but had not taken even one sip.

I sat at the next booth and listened in. I smiled as I heard the two argue over burn rates, traction projections, alpha/ beta sites, and most stridently about valuations.

A cell phone rang, and the single-malt Scotch stood and walked a few steps to take the call in private. I jumped up and got into micro-brew's face. I told him he was under-capitalized. He was giving away his intellectual property. His burn rate was twice as fast as this so-called "angel" investor was revealing. Big Pharma would pay a much higher multiple for the company if he would listen to my suggestions.

He looked bewildered. I said it again, "Don't make the deal - you'll lose your company to this chamber of commerce man of the year wanna-be in seven months."

The conversation on the cell phone ended, and Mister Single Malt Scotch asked, "Do we have a deal? " Micro-brew looked at him, then me, and said?. "No way!" He reached for his beer and slid into my booth.

I don't have to tell you what happened next. You all know it too well. We sat for three and a half hours, re-doing spreadsheets on his laptop, and playing out various pro-formas.

I finally stumbled home, embarrassed and yet delirious with joy over the deal I had structured. My wife could see me hiding the business plan under my coat. She demanded to see my cell phone. Quickly she went through the calls I had made in the last four hours. She knew the area codes: New York, Brussels, London, and my newest haunt, New Delhi. I had been lining up angel investors.

What could I say? I had already used up my inventory of "I promise it will never happen again." She had been going to her own meetings and knew that she needed to go on with her life and not let my addiction manipulate her.

Had I called my sponsor? She had not seen his number in my cell phone's call list. " No," I whispered.

She made me return to Entrepreneurs Anonymous (EA). I had stopped going to my meetings. I had beaten it or so I thought. But the truth is, we never do. I was just like everyone else in EA. I matched the profile perfectly. Eighty percent of members have a relapse within their first six months. I was now another data-point confirming that statistic.

Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at hesh1@comcast.net

---

The Visionary Entrepreneur

Any success you have in life must begin with a... Read More

Interview with Best-selling Entrepreneurial Authors Barbara Winters and Nick Williams

Ray Bradbury's quote, "You've got to jump off cliffs all... Read More

How To Get More Clients and Customers; Dont Sell Be of Service

Whether you are just starting your business or focusing on... Read More

Salon Marketing Using Wireless Broadband Internet Access

Our client in Chicago did, located right outside downtown too...a... Read More

Definition of Entrepreneur

EntrepreneurAn entrepreneur is a man who organizes and manages the... Read More

The Business and Life You Want to Build

In the early days of my first consulting business, I... Read More

Does It Really Take Money To Make Money (Online or Offline)? A Reality-Check of 2 Case Studies

The short and simple answer to this question is NO!Now,... Read More

10 Ways Entrepreneurs Shoot Themselves In The Foot

Entrepreneurs and their businesses have a tendency to ambush themselves... Read More

Entrepreneurship Story; Over Regulation in Franchising Final Chapter

Sally and Jim have launched their automotive franchise business and... Read More

The Perfect Little Coffee Shop: Are You Afraid of Failure? Are You Letting that Failure Cripple You

Ah, coffee, the drink of choice when I want to... Read More

5 TIPS for Home-Based Business Entrepreneurs

Have you ever heard that only a small part (5%)... Read More

Goals and New Venture Creation

More and more corporate workers are leaving their jobs to... Read More

Have You Been Thinking About Owning Your Own Business? Or Becoming An Entrepreneur? Part 1

Almost every day, I talk with people who want to... Read More

How To Start a New Business

While it is tempting to just leap into a new... Read More

How to Be an Entrepreneur and Keep Your Sanity

Define for yourself what an Entrepreneur is:What makes you think... Read More

Before Getting A Franchise

Buying into a franchise is a great way to be... Read More

Raising Entrepreneurs: What to Do When Your Kid is Born to Think Differently

Adolescence brings with it many challenges ? for both parents... Read More

Entrepreneurial Ongoing Education Advice

I would like to give some advice to all the... Read More

How to Start a Franchise

Franchising InformationFranchise oppotunities are all around us today. You may... Read More

Bonsai Marketing

Site location analysis of regional service areas and planning for... Read More

Entrepreneurs Ask: As a Novice Entrepreneur, How Can I Feel Less Overwhelmed?

Great question! Overwhelm is very common even among the most... Read More

The Term Sheet?s Role in Raising Venture Capital

Entrepreneurs and companies who are seeking venture capital often negotiate... Read More

Differentiation ? Smart Marketing Strategies for the Solo Entrepreneur

Are you ever frustrated or hesitant when you talk to... Read More

Be Where the Pucks Going To Be

The "Great One" said it bestHockey legend Wayne Gretzky, when... Read More

What is Entrepreneurship?

In discussing entrepreneurship and writing articles on the subject, I... Read More

The Desire For Money, Do You Have Business Sense?

For those of us who grew up with parents who... Read More

Work vs Play: Which is the Better Way to Make Big Money?

If you want to make big money, you have to... Read More

Top 10 Business Plan Myths of Solo Entrepreneurs

Don't let these stop you from having a business plan... Read More

Starting Up and Keeping Going

So you had that fantastic business idea, the one that's... Read More

How Entrepreneurs Make Money Selling Global Brands On and Off-line

Did you know that thousands of companies from all over... Read More

PR That Entrepreneurs Often Overlook

If that sounds like you, here's what you may be... Read More

Territory Limitations Policies for Franchised Companies

All franchised companies must have Territory Limitations to maintain the... Read More

Six Degrees of Separation

Through just five or six intermediaries, you could be linked... Read More