Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You?ll be Fine

It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand. The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, "Yes, you have a question." Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing? "You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff?then what?" I could feel the other Dad's nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. "That's a great question," pausing for effect, she continued, "That little baby doesn't know you don't know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine." It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received.

When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6'-4" and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School.

He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians.

By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team.

His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed."

After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show."

I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul.

My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer's, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on "What's New!!!" tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty")

I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it's the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief.

I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad.

Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6'-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It's bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine.

Pinnacle Service Group
Raising the Bar in Organizations Nationwide
Mark Matteson
877.672.2001
Fax 425.745.8981
Email psgmarkm@msn.com

For your FREE e-zine, go to http://www.mattesonavenue.com

---

Strategies on Paying for Nursing Home Care and Medicaid

The decision to place your loved one into a nursing... Read More

When the Box is Empty

The King had a modest kingdom. He was Danish. This... Read More

Stair Lifts - Straight and Curved Rails

There are two types of stairlift. Straight and curved. The... Read More

Nursing Home Staffing Levels: How Much Is Enough?

During the week of February 17, 2002, headlines screamed the... Read More

Baby Boomers: Will They Be Able to Afford Their Parents?

Do you worry about whether your aging parents have their... Read More

Advocate For Senior Citizens ? Protecting Against Abuse and Fraud

Ruth is 87 years old this year and has been... Read More

Arizona Senior Housing: Care Options for Seniors Who Can No Longer Live Alone

The following are a few of the care options available... Read More

The Truth About Christmas

Every year, as Christmas approaches, you hear Christmas carols everywhere.... Read More

Introducing the Best Available Long Term Care Policy Guarantee

If you're 60 to 70 years old ... or have... Read More

Angels Are Reaching Out to the Elderly

I am reminded time after time of the profound effect... Read More

Skilled Nursing Homes - What Are They?

A skilled nursing home is a medical facility providing services... Read More

Short Trips Can Stimulate Alzheimers Patients

Severe degradation of short-term memory means that my father, an... Read More

Feeling Lonely?

Q: I hate Alzheimer's disease, not only has it robbed... Read More

Senior Care for Alzheimer?s

As a person ages, a certain amount of memory loss... Read More

Second Hand Stair Lifts

Buying second hand stair lifts is a viable and cost... Read More

How To Find Affordable Senior Housing

A few years ago Miranda M. became a widow. After... Read More

What Most Long Term Care Professionals Don?t Know

Medicare recognizes this need and, therefore reimburses your residents to... Read More

Using The Proper Wheelchair Will Make Your Everyday Life Easier

If you have an injury or a health problem that... Read More

10 Tips to Keep a Family Caregiver from Losing Their Mind

Caring full time for a loved one can be a... Read More

The Golden Years

1) What does Adrian Mitchell say we do to people... Read More

Who Wants to End Up in a Nursing Home? NO ONE!

As a long-term care consultant for seniors and their families... Read More

The Right Wheelchair Accessories Will Ease Your Life and Your Journeys on Wheels

Wheelchairs come in every shape and size with sufficient options... Read More

Local Businesses Serving Seniors Prove Commitment to Quality Care

Good news! You no longer have to risk chance when... Read More

Mom Wont Participate!

Q: Six months ago we placed my mother in an... Read More

The Dryer Ate Your Underwear!

Q: My mom is in the early stages of dementia... Read More

Scaling Down (Almost) Painlessly

Moving to a smaller house or apartment in a retirement... Read More

What You Need to Know About Helping Senior Citizens

IntroductionThe baby boomers is the population which haven taken birth... Read More

Retiring Abroad and Leaving the Grey Skies of the UK

Retiring abroad needs careful planning. Not all countries have the... Read More

What Colour was Your Great-grandmothers Hair?

I've just made another Photoshop video. This one is about... Read More

Prevent or Delay Alzheimers Disease

Argh! Where are my glasses? I put them down .... Read More

Marketing, Selling, and Serving the Older Adult, Senior Citizens, Family Caregivers

Are your clients pleased by the fine quality service that... Read More

Whos Gonna Take Care of You When Youre Old?

I finally went to the doctor this morning for my... Read More

Why Everyone Over 50 Should be Training for the Senior Games

by Phil Campbell, M.S., M.A., FACHE Senior Games participant and... Read More