Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When Youre Staying Married Only For Your Children

All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.

As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone...use your best judgment with your children during considering divorce. This "divorce and children" article is for parents who are certain that they would get a divorce if they didn't have children and want to decide what to think about regarding the effects a divorce would have on their children.

Children of divorced parents can actually live wonderful lives as long as the parents use proper judgment and create the right types of interactions between themselves and with each other.

This article on this web page does not suggest that divorce is the correct course of action for you and it in no way should be taken as a form of counseling to you. This article is merely to spark you to think logically and then make your own decision about divorce and your children.

As previously stated, every child is different and subsequently, every child responds to divorce in a different way.

If you think there's a definitive answer about how divorce affects children, you are mistaken. There's been hundreds of books written about this subject and a plethora of studies done regarding divorce and children, all citing differing opinions and using different statistical constraints and inputs. But, statistics can only go so far...if you know your children better than anyone else, you will know best how they'll be affected by a divorce.

How divorce affects children and what you should do if you're staying married solely because you have children is complicated issue.

Here's some things you may want to consider if you're a parent who is staying married just because you have children:

Children and divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are, in fact, only staying married just because you have children.

Often times people use the children as an excuse not to get a divorce because they aren't really sure that they want a divorce or have some other fear regarding divorce. Those fears can be present due to finance, self-confidence, living arrangements, or other personal issues.

Before you really take the next steps in deciding whether or not to get a divorce because of your children, rank your reasons for divorce and make sure that you're really certain you'd get a divorce if you didn't have children.

Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure 'guilt' isn't the real reason that you aren't getting a divorce.

The 'guilt' referenced above is the guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven't really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren't getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren't really staying married for them, you're staying married for you because you feel guilty...this is selfish.

Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you've clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children.

Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever.

Decide whether or not your children have the resiliency, the intelligence, the emotional health, and the support they'd need to mitigate the adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy after the initial shock of the divorce is worked through?

Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you've really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children's life will be like in the immediate and distant future if you do actually go through with the divorce.

Ask yourself, "Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?"

One thing that is a critical factor in this decision is the feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children's welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead.

Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to create the right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage.

Usually, divorce represents the first real trauma of a child's life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision. Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your're certain that divorce is the best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce is the right thing is selfish on your part and is the wrong thing to do to your children...after all, they deserve your best effort!

One thing should remain constant...that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what.

Karl Augustine, Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce".
Deciding on Divorce
Children and Divorce

---

Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?

Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're... Read More

Advantages to Doing Your Own Divorce

There are many advantages to doing your own divorce. Three... Read More

How to Recover From Divorce

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many... Read More

Coping With Divorce Anger

Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after... Read More

Divorce--Negotiating Agreement: Ten Steps

The best predictor of a good divorce outcome is the... Read More

Joint Bank Accounts and Divorce

Here are some useful tips on joint bank accounts and... Read More

Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article

There are many types of divorce articles available on the... Read More

How Can Collaborative Law Be Beneficial In Your Texas Divorce?

Collaborative law is based on the realization that the commitment... Read More

Child Support: 5 Key Things Every Parent Should Know

There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child... Read More

The Impact of Divorce on Families

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many... Read More

Two Hearts Are Now One

It is fitting that I should write this story on... Read More

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer

Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case... Read More

Divorce--Overcoming the Obstacles to Agreement: Ten Steps

You're going to want to be working on your divorce... Read More

Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!

It can be difficult to get over a divorce and... Read More

Divorce--How to Beat the System

Of course you want to get your Judgment--that's the goal... Read More

How To Protect Your Life Insurance Policy While Going Through A Divorce

Life insurance, more than most things you buy, relates to... Read More

Getting a Jewish Divorce in the UK

What is the Get?The Get is the Jewish form of... Read More

Too Many Divorces

My oldest boy asked me something the other day about... Read More

Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it

The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating... Read More

Love and Marriage Fairy Tale

When we were children we believed in fairy tales and... Read More

5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A Divorce

There are many steps to take to protect yourself in... Read More

Divorce and the Stock Market

The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all... Read More

Houston Divorce Lawyer - West Houston Attorney Answers Common Questions About Mediation

If you are reading this, then you are probably either... Read More

3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them

What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to... Read More

Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!

Let me preface this by saying right up front -... Read More

Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?

According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics... Read More

Divorce and Uncle Sam: Top 10 Things You Should Know When Filing Your Taxes

1. What is my filing status? (Married, Single, Head of... Read More

What Are You Waiting For?

So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but... Read More

Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what... Read More

Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement

During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in... Read More

Deciding On Spousal Support

No matter which side you are on, spousal support is... Read More

Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?

Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means... Read More

Tax & Financial Impacts of Divorce: 10 Mistakes to Avoid

Divorce is something no one hopes will happen to them... Read More